I can barely remember it anymore - as my life is now a haze of breastfeeding, potty training,
cutting food into animal shapes, and rescuing my children from imaginary "funny faces" (for real) -
but I know there was a time before "momma" - a time where I existed as
just me.
I love being a mother. I've said it before, and I'll sing it for you again (you must imagine
my karaoke voice): THIS is the best decision, adventure of MY LIFE, and every day that I wake up
to their sweet, begging-for-breakfast faces, I thank the good Lord that He chose me for them.
And them for me. "Folgers in your cup" has got nothing on that!
A couple weekends ago I went to visit my mom for her birthday. Just me. I left Nathan and the kids
at home to fair on leftovers and attend Mass on their own. One minute my husband's telling me,
"I don't know how single dudes with kids do it! I can't get anything done!"
and the next: "The kids were PERFECT in church!"
Yea I don't know, but at point he moaned: "Come home!"
I think it was just to make me feel wanted. Not sure. Where was I?!
While visiting my mom, my dad asked me, "So do you feel free?" I knew immediately what he
meant. "Free" because I didn't have the kids - the spouse - the responsibility. Of course, yes, but
I feel free all the time. And THANKFUL that I know to take full advantage of every opportunity to be
fully alive in other areas of my life that bring me so much joy! Thankful for a husband who encourages
me to spread my wings and fly in all the different directions, pursuing my latest passions and interests.
It all points HOME for me.
For as long as I can remember, I've had this slight, nothing major, aversion to such terms as
"mommy hair cut", "Moms' Night Out", "mom van", "mommy guilt" etc. Oh I'm guilty
of trying to use them - nonchalantly and all - like the cool kids. Everyone uses terms like that and it
seems so natural. And don't worry, if you've invited me to a "Moms' Night Out" or told me about your
latest "mommy hair cut", I hold no judgment or ill-feeling towards you. I'm just saying.
But before all of this - I was just Brittany.
And I still am.
Of course I am a mom. Forever. But I am also a woman, wife, sister, daughter, friend, gardener,
blogger, adventure seeker, coffee drinker, mentor, ministry leader, listener, educator, Instagram addict!
So I get my hair cut to reflect my inner rockstar, I drive a minivan because I love all the features,
I go out with the girls (who happen to mostly be moms), I never feel guilty about indulging in the
moment, and I wear yoga pants because I want to... not because it is the uniform of moms everywhere.
- being what makes me Brittany -
truly makes me a better mom in the end.
I guess I have just been living the decision to not let one path define all of me.
Mainly because I want to fully live it ALL - all the time. We have one life, right?
No time for back burners.
God made each of us with so many different, unique talents and interests...
Yes, we are "mom", but who else are we?!
I love this and I so get it. I have huge curly hair. Like, my brothers called me Medusa because it looks sort of alive sometimes. Ha! When I had my first, I chopped to a pixie. Now on my third pregnancy, and I'm realizing leaving it long and huge and wild helps me be ME. Even with all the mommy things I embrace (I rock a station wagon), I'm not overshadowed by motherhood. I make it mine--my hair and my mothering style.
ReplyDeleteAww rock that curly head of hair!!! Love this. Love your heart. I think that is so key = doing whatever helps "me be ME". Women are awesome! Mommas are awesome!!! Keep up the good work, Megan XO
DeleteOh, I love it! Mommy, yes, but Mariah, too. And Mariah before I was Mommy. You go girl! See also - I need a haircut. :)
ReplyDelete*fist pump* !!! XO
DeleteI think every mom can relate to this. So well put!
ReplyDeletethank you, Nicki!!! it was good for my own heart to write this - to remember and celebrate!!! glad you stopped by :-)
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