We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:
"Do you know what you are having?"
Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"
"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"
Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"
We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.
I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?
Could be wrong.
A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.
After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.
If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.
People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.
I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.
It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!
Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).
Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...
why "fix" something that is not broken?
I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.
Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --
in the great mystery of God.
And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: firstname.lastname@example.org
P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)