Sunday, July 29, 2012

Romancing Your Spouse

Nathan and I are teaming up to bring you this post today!

A word from Brittany...

I met Nathan when I was 16 years old. He was selling cars and I was answering the phones at a dealership back where we grew up. One night he sat in front of my desk and I told him, "You are the kind of guy I want to marry some day." ...I actually went home and wrote that exact line down in my journal later in the evening - and I read it to him on our wedding day! But at that moment in time neither one of us were thinking that we were looking at our future spouse. After all, I was 16 remember?... and he was 23. I just knew that he had a lot of the qualities I was looking for in a husband... and I made a note if it!

We went our separate ways a few weeks after meeting, with no promise of keeping in touch, and actually re-met (GOD is crazy!) when I was 19 years old. Things were a little different now, and Nathan lost no time in pursuing me! It was a wild and exciting time in our lives. We took dating to a whole new level - always coming up with new and extreme ways to show how much we LOVED each other!

When we finally got around to engagement (lol!)...
I was soooooo ready to be this man's wife!!! Dating him is so much fun - marriage will be too!... right?
YES YES YES! But taking all of the crazy energy and enthusiasm for dating into marriage took a little work. We still love each other HARDCORE - but with work, school, kids, daily routines, etc. you really have to make time to romance your spouse!

Besides all the little moments and gestures throughout the week, we set Fridays as our official DATE NIGHT! It is ALWAYS on the calendar and we take turns planning a night of romance!
... occasionally we get a babysitter, but most of the time we plan it around our
family. And it works! It is a great way to end the week/begin the weekend!

This past Friday we had a picnic at the lake (with the babies!)

and it was amazing!

The weather was perfect, the food was yummy, the scenery was beautiful,

and the company ENCHANTING!

Going to the lake actually gives the kids something to do -

so we can hang out on the blanket and have some heart-to-heart time!!!

I encourage wives to allow your husbands to pursue you! Let him know you are interested in being "chased!" Teach him how to woo your heart inside of marriage. After all, he was probably a pro at it while dating, right?!? Have mercy on him if he is not the same ROMEO you first fell in love with - he is the confident, faithful provider now... carrying the weight of the world for you and your children! Make time to show each other how much you care. Your relationship will flourish because of it!

A word from Nathan...

"He who loves his wife loves himself." ~ Ephesians 5:28

Regarding our marriage, one of the deepest needs of my wife is the need to be pursued. She wants to know I am thinking of her, seeking to hear her heart, and bringing her the romance that first caught her attention in the beginning.

Within marriage, the enemy likes to introduce the following illusions:

"I can't lose [her] anymore. So I can coast."

"I have to work to pay the bills. Isn't that enough?"

"I really do love [her] but I'm so tired. It's OK to keep putting her off."

These illusions really aren't very different from the ones regarding other aspects of our lives. Instead, think of it this way:

Coasting in marriage tells your wife she's really not that important. Imagine telling your wife when you were dating that you didn't have time to talk often, have dinner together, or to pleasantly surprise her. Would the relationship have continued into marriage? I don't know about you, but I was "pulling out all the stops" to let my future wife know I wanted her to say "YES!!!" to the big question.

So now that the two have become one, why should it be any different? For one very simple reason. The enemy would like to keep you from having a vibrant and beautiful marriage. In fact, he'd eventually like you to have no marriage at all. Once he does, it makes his job easier on the next generation. I encourage you, brothers in Christ, to keep pursuing your wives. If you do, peace & joy is the result, for you and for future generations.

"Men love your wives as Christ loved the Church, AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER." Ephesians 5:1.

P.S.!!! Kids are great entertainment! Here is our Isaiah making us laugh while trying to carry around the cooler!

Happy dating!
Nathan & Brittany

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