He Fathers Me Too

It was late. Nathan and I were laying in bed, reading books, winding down for the night,
when we heard joyful chatter from our sons' bedroom. Our baby, Judah, was up with the owls,
playing with his glow-in-the-dark microphone, and stringing random words together to his
great entertainment. A smile spread across my own face as I whispered to Nathan,
"Take it easy on him... he's so cute!" as he went to address the matter.

I hear this from my bed:

"Whatcha doing, papa?"

"I'm laying in bed with my wife trying to go to sleep!"

"Where MY wife?"

"I don't know buddy, but let's pray for her right now."

I then heard my husband pray aloud with a
two year old whisper mocking every word he said:

"Lord, please be with my wife. Keep her safe.
Let her know she is loved. Help me to grow into the man she deserves.
Give her a hug for me tonight. Amen."

I closed my eyes and let the tears file in behind the floodgates.
It triggers something in my own heart. Perhaps it is an old wound,
a gaping hole that I've longed to be filled, a normal desire, a holy longing...

Such is the gift of a father who leads to THE FATHER.
A couple weeks ago we visited the church where my husband gave his life to Jesus
as a little boy. He took our sons to the altar rail and told them the story.
Such is the joy of a father who leads to THE FATHER.

I am hanging on all the moments he's leading our sons... lapping up the gentle
leadership, falling in line, marching straight on to heaven with them all.

And it hits me... I need my husband to be a "father" to me too.
Even though he is broken and imperfectly human, God works through Nathan
to bind up the gaps, fill in the voids, and answer the cravings of my own heart...

as he fathers our sons.



"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father
of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17

Is there someone in your life that speaks God's love to you?
I'm thankful for that person. For my person. Amen.