Friday, December 6, 2013

Steward of a Dream

I had so many plans for this December.
Things, good things, that I wanted to do, orchestrate, create for family and friends.
I've already cut back in so many areas; saying "no" more often so that I can say "yes"
to some specific things that God has put on my heart. And yet, even those things seem
to be falling from my hands, spinning out of my control, and getting cozy on the back burner.

words from Jeff Goins, shared at The Influence Network conference this past fall that
still ring in my ears every second of every day.

I don't doubt that God wants me to answer the knocks at my door, but it is the time frame,
the fashion, and details of getting to the door, opening it up, and stepping out into the adventure
that are the issue. My issue, my plans running up against God's. Release, Brittany. Let go. Trust Him.

release. let go. trust Him.

At the end of November I landed myself in the ER with a severe infection that won me a round
trip, all antibiotics included, for two weeks. It was the answer, the right answer to fix the problem,
but antibiotics always leave me with a mighty host of other problems that make the first problem
not seem so bad after all. It feels like I lose either way.

And yet the beauty in it all is that I HAVE TO SLOW DOWN.
Silver lining, wonderful. So cliche. So comforting.

I've spent many hours cuddling with my kids this week. Reading books, watching movies,
playing games. My mind is effected by detoxing; concentration is a joke. I feel so small,
so child-like... processing things very slowly, waiting for toxins to pass. Helpless really.
Surrendered to something so much bigger than me.

Those words of Jeff Goins come to me in a different way today.
"HE is the MASTER of the dream..." and I am the steward. One who is appointed,
subject to a greater plan from the Higher Up. And so I release with J O Y...

soaking up the extra time, that the Master has called for, with my family
as we travel to Bethlehem in our hearts once again this Advent season.

release. let go. trust Him.

((( our Thanksgiving )))

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