The other night I cornered my husband,
"Soooo... there's this THING. It's called 'word. of. the. year.' -- all the coolest
bloggers are doing it, and I want to know what YOUR word would be. Just one word."
Inner monologue: PLEASE be a good word so that I can be a copycat. I'll say that I've
been so deeply inspired and post it for all the world to see. As mine. All mine. One word.
Well, this story pretty ends with my husband pensively thinking for a moment and then uttering
with Nathan-like wisdom: "QUADRUPLE." It then was followed by a short story on how it applies
to this scripture passage that has moved him... beautiful. But dang it. That can't be my word.
No one would believe me.
I ran some of my own ideas past him: COURAGE. RETREAT.
To which he just shook his head and told me that what I really meant to say was "TRUST."
That my word of the year should be "TRUST." That I have "TRUST" issues and should just face
the TRUTH and accept "TRUST." Sigh.
He reads me like a book. A beautiful, annoying gift. Such an oxymoron.
But maybe you are struggling too? Maybe the future looks too hard to predict and no word
from Webster is going to do that uncertainty any kind of justice. That's how I feel.
And that rings of fear. Thus COURAGE. And I need to re-group with Jesus about that. Thus RETREAT.
And my husband is always right - because after it all goes up, it comes down to TRUST.
My word last year was "LIFE" -- and God SO delivered on that. Like whoa. And there has been such
reward in what felt like a pact or promise between me and the Almighty. Call her Bella.
Last year was so easy.
And now, all I know is that THIS IS THE YEAR to dig down deep and uproot anxiety, fear, and
distrustfulness in all of its tangled mess. THIS IS THE YEAR to choose more live social interaction
over social media, to remember and celebrate the art of connection as I once knew it.
This is the first baby I have nursed since purchasing a smart phone. How easy it is to sit down
during feedings, get settled, and then scroll away our precious time by staring at the screen instead
of those sparkling blue eyes that look up--- that wait--- connection.
It's going to take courage, retreat, and trust.
It's not a "word of the year", but a lifestyle chant.
My fire is blazing, 2015.
Happy New Year, my friends.
What's on your heart?
Love this. And your spunk. I seriously was not going to choose a word. I've done it the past 3 years and honestly none of them really panned out like I had hoped. So I had resolve to not pick a word, to not make resolutions. And then like a pound of bricks God landed "obedience" on my heart. And I had to listen, right? That was my first step in obeying Him. But I'm still not making a giant long list of goals like I always do. Instead I'm resolving to simply obey Him in the small, daily things and in the big giant scary things. (My sub-words that go along with obedience are trust and work ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha hey thanks, Jessi!!! That's crazy beautiful about your word - God is so good like that! I pray and hope that He moves in deep and new ways in your heart this year!!! XO
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