Friday, January 24, 2014

Things You Didn't Say When We Were Dating

Nathan: "MOVE the chastity pillow, already!"

It's true. I sleep with a body pillow even when I'm not pregnant. It's my necessary +1
when it comes to being unconscious. It DID all begin with pregnancy, this need to be
comforted, held, cradled to sleep, and I never quite broke the habit. Now it's just me,
Nathan, and the "chastity pillow" (Nathan named it that. Not me... obviously!) every night.
Marriage is a big commitment, guys. Make sure you know what you are getting in to!

Nathan: "Come here, I want to cuddle with you!"
Nathan: "Brittany GraceAnn!"
Me: In my best pathetic voice, "can I bring my body pillow?!"

Nathan: "You know what I'm going to do with you tonight after the kids go to bed?"
Me: "Um what?!"
Nathan: "A puzzle!"
Bet ya didn't see that one coming. Me neither!

Nathan: "All we talk about is health, kids, and bowel movements anymore."

Me: "It would be so fun to see the light show at the arboretum!"
Nathan: "Yea, it would... if we didn't have kids."
Me: "WHAT?!"
Nathan: "They will FREEZE!"
Me: "You would have taken me when we were dating."
Nathan: "Yea, NO KIDS, and you'd be forced to cuddle with me to stay warm.
It would have been to my advantage to take you." #thingschange

Me: "I want to go on a warm, exotic vacation!"
Nathan: "Yea! You can do it... there's this place called the SHOWER.
A FREE, warm, exotic, no-kids-allowed vacation!"

Me: "I bought you all-natural chapstick. Without petroleum in it."
Nathan: "The first ingredient is - ANNUS - I think I'd rather wipe petroleum on my lips."
Me: "I'm saving your life here, buddy."
My poor husband. I don't think he realized how big of a hippy he was actually marrying.

"I love you. Your food gives me gas."
All in one breath, folks. There is STILL such a thing as TMI in marriage!
Me: "I love you... too?"

Nathan: "You are so pretty."
Me: "You're blind."
Nathan: "You're an idiot."
That, my friends, is lovers' banter.

Me: "I want to go away some time this year. Just you and me. Nothing fancy."
Nathan: "Ok, babe."
Me: No, you better woo me and take me away or I'm going to RUN AWAY!"
It has come to this.

Me: Is there anything fun you want to do tonight?
Nathan: I'd love to just sit down and talk with you for a few hours!
Me: *bites bottom lip, shakes head "no"* (I know, what's wrong with me?!)
Don't get me wrong, I love to talk with my husband... in fact I freak out
if too much time goes by without REALLY talking... but sometimes I just want to
do that puzzle! HA!

e n j o y // the weekend!!! XO

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  1. Bahahaha! These posts, including the "children-isms" crack me up so much! I have an should write a post titled "Advice for the Engaged Couples" ;)

  2. This is so funny! You guys are too cute. Tell Nathan that when he's ready to woo you and take you away for the weekend, I'll watch the boys :) xo

  3. This is hilarious! I especially love his definition of an exotic vacation :)

  4. I'm dying. The Chastity pillow.....ha ha ha ha!!!


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