A body beaten and bruised - stained and re-stained - with blood flowing forth
from a heart - beating, steady then failing, but winning the battle for YOUR soul.
With every movement - He cries in pain under the weight of the cross He's bearing -
pressing, pushing deeper into the gaping wounds - those lashes. And that crown of thorns
driving further into His skull - as visions of YOU living in His great love come
before His tear-filled eyes. Wiping away the crimson sweat, blinking faster, breathing harder,
determined to accomplish the mystery - to beat death with death so that life with YOU,
with us all, could be so sweet in the bitterness of all the brokenness.
Even hell could not see it coming.
And I want to be there.
I want to collect every pebble, every stone, before His bare feet fall under the weight
of such sin. I want to be Simon of Cyrene - looking the Savior in the eye - incapable of fully
understanding, but still somehow sharing a glimpse into the crushing beauty of redeeming love.
I want to be there consoling Mama Mary - who knew she bore the Son of God so that He could die.
She knew. She knows. I fear I would have no words and she would be the one consoling me.
Roman crucifixion, a humiliating - suffocating death for criminals. I want to be
the "good thief" on the cross hearing saving words in the moment...
the moment He wins.
"Jesus answered him,
'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.'"
- Luke 23:43
I want to be there crying out that I do believe.
I love you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus.
And this Lent, with Good Friday approaching, I find myself yearning to be there at
the original Good Friday. To let Him know that I am here trying so desperately to
satiate His deep thirst for souls by giving my whole life... throwing it all in - as measly
as the widow's mite - as ugly and broken as the next sinner - as needy to be healed
as the hemorrhaging woman, the blind man, the centurion's servant...
I wonder, if I could go, would I take my children? Would I take them to Calvary
to be there as the God of all creation breathes His last breath - a painful, horrifying tragedy
of holiness - to save us all? Would Jesus want them there?
Like many Christian parents, I find myself wondering, praying through the heart of our faith -
discerning, waiting, pouring out the richness of such mystery into the tiny souls of my children...
in time. When it's time.
I just want them to know the magnitude of that sacrifice.
I want them to know, I want to know, how much He really does love us.
Ah, this post speaks my heart! I am also wishing to have been there. You have to listen to "Why" by Natalie Nordeman! Your post reminds me of that song (which I wrote about like a week ago haha)! ;-)
I am pulling up the song now, Gabriela! Thank you for sharing that! Crazy we wrote about similar things - it's this whole Lent deal... it's in the air! It's good though. He's moving hearts. Shaking things up. Our God's not dead!!!! Bless you XO
You do go to the original Good friday at every Mass. Brittany, I think when the reality of what the Mass is really experienced by us AS reality then we will be living in reality. That sounds confusing but re-read it. Until my experience of the source and summit of the Christian life which is the Eucharist (the very reason Jesus came, to GIVE Himself perpetually "This is My Body, do this in memory of me") becomes in tune with the way GOD sees it then I am not yet living in reality. The new Heavens and the new Earth will come when the Eucharistic reign comes, when all hearts adore Him in the Eucharist with such ARDOR and LOVE that there will be no difference between Heaven and Earth. "Behold, I make all things new." When you take your kids to Adoration, you DO take them to calvary because Jesus is present under all of His forms. You take them to calvary, tabor, bethany, nazareth, the jordan, the Heart of the Father... you take them to all of these places by faith (which is certain knowledge beyond vision based on the authority of God's Word) so let Jesus take them into these mysteries. TRUST that He really is filling your boys with special graces, with understanding, insight, and wisdom. My gosh, what could possibly delight Jesus more, what could console Him more than having the presence of pure innocence in His presence? Children console the heart of God. YOU - you become a child and YOU first go to calvary. YOU experience it, YOU be there, YOU console Him and where MAMA goes her sons will go, both following in her train and collected in her heart. Believe the Eucharist is everything.. because it is everything. CCC paragraph 1324. http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm there's your homework and daily meditation for the rest of your life. "The Eucharist is "the source and summit of the Christian life." The other sacraments, and indeed all ecclesiastical ministries and works of the apostolate, are bound up with the Eucharist and are oriented toward it. For in the blessed Eucharist is contained the whole spiritual good of the Church, namely Christ himself, our Pasch." Source and Summit?? the WHOLE spiritual good of the Church??? Wha?!
How do we not cry for joy every time we even think about the Eucharist, much less adore Him in His Sacred Presence??
Would you take your kids to calvary? O Brittany! How many times they have already been! And as many times have they consoled the heart of Jesus - these, YOUR SONS. And YOU! Jesus in the Eucharist loves, desires, thirsts for, NEEDS our real presence. He deserves our company. His Real Presence - just in simply justice, let alone LOVE! - merits our own.
So I say all of this to a future Saint raising future Saints. There is nothing better you can do for your boys than take them to calvary. In fact, calvary has come to you and the heart beat of the man of Golgotha beats with desire for your presence and "Brittany's little ones." He burns for you, your holocaust, your PASCH, your entire spiritual good. The Eucharistic Victim, slave of love perpetually present in the tabernacle blazing with desire to be exposed in the monstrance for all to see and adore His holy face which "shines like the sun."
Ah, this post speaks my heart! I am also wishing to have been there. You have to listen to "Why" by Natalie Nordeman! Your post reminds me of that song (which I wrote about like a week ago haha)! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am pulling up the song now, Gabriela! Thank you for sharing that! Crazy we wrote about similar things - it's this whole Lent deal... it's in the air! It's good though. He's moving hearts. Shaking things up. Our God's not dead!!!! Bless you XO
DeleteYou do go to the original Good friday at every Mass. Brittany, I think when the reality of what the Mass is really experienced by us AS reality then we will be living in reality. That sounds confusing but re-read it. Until my experience of the source and summit of the Christian life which is the Eucharist (the very reason Jesus came, to GIVE Himself perpetually "This is My Body, do this in memory of me") becomes in tune with the way GOD sees it then I am not yet living in reality. The new Heavens and the new Earth will come when the Eucharistic reign comes, when all hearts adore Him in the Eucharist with such ARDOR and LOVE that there will be no difference between Heaven and Earth. "Behold, I make all things new." When you take your kids to Adoration, you DO take them to calvary because Jesus is present under all of His forms. You take them to calvary, tabor, bethany, nazareth, the jordan, the Heart of the Father... you take them to all of these places by faith (which is certain knowledge beyond vision based on the authority of God's Word) so let Jesus take them into these mysteries. TRUST that He really is filling your boys with special graces, with understanding, insight, and wisdom. My gosh, what could possibly delight Jesus more, what could console Him more than having the presence of pure innocence in His presence? Children console the heart of God. YOU - you become a child and YOU first go to calvary. YOU experience it, YOU be there, YOU console Him and where MAMA goes her sons will go, both following in her train and collected in her heart. Believe the Eucharist is everything.. because it is everything. CCC paragraph 1324. http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c1a3.htm there's your homework and daily meditation for the rest of your life. "The Eucharist is "the source and summit of the Christian life." The other sacraments, and indeed all ecclesiastical ministries and works of the apostolate, are bound up with the Eucharist and are oriented toward it. For in the blessed Eucharist is contained the whole spiritual good of the Church, namely Christ himself, our Pasch." Source and Summit?? the WHOLE spiritual good of the Church??? Wha?!
ReplyDeleteHow do we not cry for joy every time we even think about the Eucharist, much less adore Him in His Sacred Presence??
Would you take your kids to calvary? O Brittany! How many times they have already been! And as many times have they consoled the heart of Jesus - these, YOUR SONS. And YOU! Jesus in the Eucharist loves, desires, thirsts for, NEEDS our real presence. He deserves our company. His Real Presence - just in simply justice, let alone LOVE! - merits our own.
So I say all of this to a future Saint raising future Saints. There is nothing better you can do for your boys than take them to calvary. In fact, calvary has come to you and the heart beat of the man of Golgotha beats with desire for your presence and "Brittany's little ones." He burns for you, your holocaust, your PASCH, your entire spiritual good. The Eucharistic Victim, slave of love perpetually present in the tabernacle blazing with desire to be exposed in the monstrance for all to see and adore His holy face which "shines like the sun."
This is quite beautiful.. http://vultus.stblogs.org/index.php/2014/03/coming-to-fulfil-what-is-written-of-me/
ReplyDeleteHappy Feast!