Childrenisms

We went back and forth - and then back and forth again - about "paying" our kids
to do jobs. We're rookie parents and probably screwing everything up, but it has been
a fun learning experience! Basically we give our kids a dime - they're learning the
fun lesson of "money doesn't grow on trees" - for every odd job they complete.

10% goes to "Jesus" and the rest is kept in an envelope for Dollar Tree purchases.
They've already bought themselves some sling shots, glow sticks, and these weird
spinning lazer... things. I'm having visions of REAL jobs, with REAL money, and my little
children buying their own cars, clothes, college education...

Wishful thinking? I'll keep you posted. Until then...


Isaiah: "Momma, you are beautiful. Real cute."
Me: "Thanks, buddy! You are so sweet to me!"
Judah: "Only smoothies are cute."
Me: "You don't think I'm cute, Judah!?"
Judah: "I think Zay Zay is adopted."


Me: "If you use the potty I will give you an M&M!"
Judah: "How 'bout you just change my diaper and give me the M&M?"
Me:


Me: "Did you eat all that gum?"
Isaiah: "Um yea."
Me: "Like ten pieces?"
Isaiah: "Mom. YOU eat a lot of gum too!"
Me:"YEA, BUT I NEVER SWALLOW IT!"


Me: "Do you think daddy is so cute?"
Judah: "I think he's a cupcake."

As I was coming out of my OB appointment...
Isaiah: "WOOOO! They popped the baby out!"
Me: "Not yet, buddy."

5 minutes later...

Isaiah: "Did the baby pop out yet?"
Me: "Define pop out."

I get asked similar questions all day on REPEAT. Hurry, baby. Hurry.


Me: "What would like to name the baby?"
Judah: "Bam Bam or Superman."
Isaiah: "Red or Mohawk."
Dear baby, you're lucky Isaiah and Judah will have NO say in your name.


Judah: "I wanna feed da buuurds!"
Me: "Ok, when it stops raining."
Isaiah: "Put the food in the BOOTY feeder, mom."
Me: "BIRD feeder, buddy."
Isaiah: "Booty."

Me: "Judah, do you want to read a book?"
Judah: "I don't like that word."
Me: "What word?"
Judah: "The BOOK word."
Me: "Well, do you want to read?"
Judah: "I want to go to work. My job. I work on computers."
Me: "Can you give me some of your paycheck?!"
Judah: "Yea, probably NO."
#igavebirthtoyou #youoweme