Childrenisms

Yesterday the one and only toilet in our house was clogged. I had been working on it
off and on for about an hour when I finally gave up to go make lunch. So I shut the bathroom
door tightly and walked away. Two seconds later I hear said toilet flushing, gushing Niagara Falls
all over the floor, rugs, streaming straight for the hallway. It was as awful as it sounds.

I'm grabbing towels and throwing down like Olivia and her comments on The Bachelor.
Watch out. Judah walks by real casually like he's on vacation or something and is like,
"Hey mom! Why is there CHOCOLATE all over the bathroom?" Chocolate?!
I wish it was CHOCOLATE.

As I shove two cookies in my mouth to help cope with the situation.

People are all like, "THREE is SO hard. FOUR is SO easy." And I'm thinking maybe we should just go
straight for another baby here and end this crazy time! But then I think, "No, this has got to be some
Parents of Four initiation trick." They all sit back as they watch our announcement come up on Facebook, "Suuuuuckers."


I'm not pregnant by the way.

But we would seriously love that though!!! Being outnumbered doesn't scare us.
I mean we're training our people, ya know? Raise 'em up just like Keith Urban says.


Judah: "You're underwear is like Halloween."
Me: "What does that even mean?"
Judah: "It means it is scary."

Nathan: "The faces of the angels glow!"
Isaiah: "Yea, like momma's face when she looks at her cell phone!"

Me: "I just need everyone to be quiet for a minute!"
Isaiah: "What does that even meeeeeean?"


Me: "Judah, don't touch your behind while going to the bathroom."
Judah: "Mom, there is NOT a bee on my back. It's called a BUTT."
Me:

Me: "Do I have a job?"
Judah: "Yea all you do is switch the laundry."
Me: "That's all I do?"
Judah:


Me: "Do know how hold momma is?"
Isaiah: "Uh 100?"

Nathan: "Judah, do you want some veggies for breakfast?"
Judah: "I LOVE CELERY!"
Me: "Seriously? I'll get you some."
Judah: "Wait... I think I meant CEREAL."


After not letting Isaiah buy a pair of panty hose from the second hand store he sighed,
"This is the WORST day of my life."


Solidarity, folks.
Bring it in.
On three,
"GO PARENTS!"



go. parents.