How to Date Your Spouse

Remember your dating life before marriage? It was so spontaneous and frolic-ky...


Like, "Oh! Do you want to go get pancakes at 2am?!" And then you just did it.
You'd sit side-by-side, sharing bites, laughing, having a real conversation in between
all the red heart emoticons. There was so much time! Time to spare. Time to waste.
Time to change my clothes 6 times before Nathan rang the door bell. The good 'ole days.

We were laughing not too long ago about how strategic we are with our time now. We don't
have time to take a nap together BEFORE we spend the day riding the motorcycle BEFORE we
spend the evening restaurant hopping to try all the things... because we can.

For real, one time Nathan planned an 8 restaurant excursion back before we were married.
I had to figure out the riddle of the evening...

Bruschetta's
Rosa's Pizza
Ibiza Tapas
Tom's Diner
Thai Me Up
Ali Baba's
Nakama Japanese Steakhouse
Yo Rita

He was so cute. Still is. Let's just look at him. He's all mine, ladies.
I can hear my little sisters in my head: #vomit.
This is why we are going to have so many babies.


But something we walked away with from our marriage prep classes was to

be INTENTIONAL about DATE NIGHTS.

And I don't think we've missed a week in almost 7 years of marriage? Go us.
No, but seriously -- that was not to boast, but to shed light on the blessing and
importance of this in our marriage.

We just decided that every week we would have one night specifically set aside for just the
two of us. Sometimes we get a babysitter, but more often than not it is one of our classic
"at home date nights". And our kids are aware now! They tuck themselves in bed and double check
with sheepish grins, "It's date night, riiiiight?" You can feel the security level in their
hearts rise. I mean, date nights are healthy for EVERYONE!


And I'll do anything for my kids. Even if it means dating their father. Wink.

Just those couple of hours to forget the housework, the finances, the children (I mean, don't
really forget them!), the rush of the week -- and just BE together -- make a difference!

The other night we were driving home from our date night out on the town (ow ow!) and I felt a little
giddy girlfriend-like?! I don't know. I tried to put it into words for Nathan and all that came out was,

"I like just being you and me."

THIS life is happening...

but before all of "this", and through all of "this", and after all of "this" --
at the end of the day, I go home with Nathan Vail. And we're working and praying and building
the best foundation we can right now. Even in the usual chaos of family life.


We don't let all of that be an EXCUSE not to make time for each other,
but as a REASON to make it a priority.

I went ahead and polled the crowd for this one!
Here are some tried and true date night ideas...

For the musically inclined...
"This is weird, but we have a lot of fun watching concerts on TV together!"
- Abby Moldovan

"Dinner date & Musical/Play at the Fine Arts Center!"
- Julie Fluette

When a babysitter cannot be found...
"Backyard bonfire! We read books by the fire while enjoying virgin pina coladas, country
music on Pandora and talking about our favorite moments of married life!"
- Nellie Simoneau

"Movie on the couch or coffee in the afternoon!"
- Colleen Mason

If you are travel lovers...
"Corny, but we are geography geeks and love to quiz each other and look at maps...
and then have fun taking our own adventure!"
- Natalie Reeves

"We like geocaching - so we look to see if there is something nearby and then we sit down
and make up an interesting adventure story on how we found it."
- Stacy Pustka

Calling all culinary adventurists...
"Going out for dinner!"
- Maripaz DeLuna-Rouleau

"Either long coffee dates or an evening dinner -
followed by a walk through the countryside. #26goingon86"
- Gemma Watts

A walk on the wild side...
"We like the shooting range, goodwill dates, playing board games and eating brownies
while catching up at the end of a day."
- Amy Giove

Because it smells good in this store...
"Menards!"
- April Kirkpatrick

To keep it real...
"What is this thing called dates?"
- Valerie Caron Darragh of BLANQI

...because sometimes that is reality.

But here's to being intentional and strategic in marriage about dating!
Because our dating life shouldn't die at the altar.

Of course, it should die in regards to dating other people. Oh geez.
Just date your spouse, ok?!