Childrenisms

I do some pretty awesome things when my husband is working all day. *pats self on back*
Recently, I managed to rearrange all of our living room furniture -- which included shoving
a very hefty loveseat down our hallway and into our master bedroom. When he finally got home
to the "surprise", I equated the whole moving the couch into the master bedroom scenario to

"giving birth".

I told him, "You must LOVE it! I birthed that couch for us!" Lol.

Disturbing imagery, I know. But I think it highlights the creative labor I put forth
to make my our interior design dreams come true.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is my children. I did truly birth them.
Do you know the other day while I was shopping at Whole Foods (because this would only happen at
Whole Foods) a very energetic, normal-looking woman chased me down the aisle waving and smiling....

Stranger: "Yoohoo! You have two boys and a girl!
You MUST tell me what you DID to get a girl!"

And I'm thinking, clearly she knows 'what to do'.

But no, this lady wants legitimate tips on conceiving a girl. Like down to vaginal pH
and ovulation theories. And I'm just here for fermented pickles, not a fertility lesson!

This "stranger" was suddenly becoming my new BFF. I mean I don't just talk about mucus patterns
with anyone. Oh my gosh this REALLY happened. But then she just said, "We have the three boys,
and I just don't know if I can do one more pregnancy... and not get a girl!"

To which I consoled her with really not consoling news at all, "Well, I really hope we can
have a few more! They are just awesome -- no matter what!!!"

Her whole face changed. But not in a bad way. She THANKED me.

Stranger now BFF: "It's so relieving to hear you say that! I don't want to feel
alone in this! And I think big families are great!

And I'm just standing there like, "What just happened?!"
I hope you name your child, Brittany Awesome, dear lady. Ha.
#cultureoflife #missionwhereyoustand


But I concur.

Big families are awesome, and I just love doing life with these people God gave me --
they make everything so fun...ny.


Me: "How did you get so good at drawing dinosaurs?"
Judah: "Well, I waited 100 years... and then I could just do it!"
Me: "But you're only 4 years old."
Judah: "Well, ok so 4 years..."
Me: "Gotcha."


Isaiah: "Mom, are you making dinner or eating cookies again?"
Me:

Isaiah: "Mom, how much do pets cost?"
Me: "Well, it depends on what you want to buy. Like a pet fish would cost about $3."
Isaiah: "I was thinking T-REX."
Me: "Buddy, dinosaurs are not alive anymore."
Isaiah: "What! Are you kidding me?"


Me: "How many pieces of candy did you eat?"
Judah: "ONE!"
Me: "Then why are there NINE wrappers in your bedroom?"
Isaiah: "Well, we EACH had one."
Me: "Well, there's only TWO of you!"
Isaiah:
Judah:

Judah: "I love you!"
Me: "YEA?! Why do you love me?"
Judah: "Because you're a good cooker and picker upper. You also know a lot about oils."


Me: "Why do we eat vegetables?"
Judah: "I only eat carrots."
Isaiah: "OOH OOH OH!! So we are not constipated!!!!"
Judah: "That is not right."

Me: "You guys, please be quiet, I am tutoring Anna."
Isaiah: "Toot-er."
Judah: "YEA! Toot!"
Both: "TOOTER ANNA!!!!!"
#minions


Judah: "What can we call this hammer?"
Me: "Knuckle Sandwich?"
Judah: "How about AWESOME? Rock Star? Or Punk?"
Me: "Whaaaaa?"
Judah: "Or sponge."

Bella: *screaming* *throwing things from purse*
Me: "Would you like some water?"
Bella: "NO!"
Me: "Would you like a snack?"
Bella: "NO!"
Me:
Bella: "MONEY!!!!!!!"