When Your Spouse Changes

Nathan grabbed a pad of paper and asked me to follow him.
Like an annoying 8 year old I kept asking, "Yea, but what's the paper for?"

"You'll see," he said with a grin.


I think part of the beauty of the human experience is change. From the simple to the complex, we are
not confined to those scrunchy socks we wore in the 90's or the insecure, out-spoken, wild, *insert
adjective* image of ourselves that we are convinced is true. Time, experience, influences have their
way with us, and year after year we morph again and again, in butterfly-like glory.
Stagnancy seems near impossible. We change.

He slowly ripped out two pieces of paper and handed one to me.

"We are both going to write down 5 ways that we have seen each other
CHANGE since we got married," he told me.

My eyes grew wide and I laughed at him; suddenly uncomfortable that I was about to be examined
so closely - fearful that he would see the changes that I don't even want to look at myself.
But I knew it was a good idea, kind of wishing I had come up with it myself, and began to write.

We were both so quiet, so serious - smiling to ourselves occasionally - nodding our heads.

The words we penned were ones of glory, achievement, growth. Written applause laced with
gratitude - we've grown, we've changed - and we were celebrating each other.

I think the pessimist in me was afraid my husband was going to write down, "My wife's stomach now
resembles more of a road map - more stretch marks than ever!" But, no. Ha! The conversation went
well beyond the "5 ways" - leading us both to examine and share what we saw about ourselves too.

It was raw, honest, funny, endearing...
made me love my spouse all the more.

Honestly, even though I think change is beautiful, I'm not a big fan of the idea in general. I prefer
routine, boring, the predictable ebb and flow of day to day life with the people I love. Perhaps that is
why I was uncomfortable at first with the idea of writing it all down. Fearful that it would make me
anxious or sad that time has had its way with us.

I know that the years will hold changes that we love and changes that weigh heavy on our hearts,
but today... today is good. And in writing down the "5 ways" we found much joy - relishing in the
words of encouragement and affirmation we had for each other.

Change is inevitable. I hope we (and you!) find much to celebrate throughout the years!

Go grab a pad of paper?


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The Lily Field doesn't end here... praise the Lord!!!
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Things You Didn't Say When We Were Dating

I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you... marriage changes things.
I mean it's nothing to write home about, but it's something you might want
to mention to your brain. One day you don't care if you both just ate
a minced garlic pizza, you're gonna make-out... next thing you know
you're passing out Orbit and asking him not to put his arm around you
because oh. my. gosh. you're messing up my hair!

Each passing year brings us to a whole new level of comfortable.
We do and say things that would shock and appall our "dating" selves,
and I love it. Our relationship becomes more transparent, more authentic,
more worn, warm, tried, and true as the days slip into years and the years
weave together the tapestry of a lifetime.

Here's to being more open about bodily functions,
telling each other what we really think,
and brushing our teeth before anything goes down!



"Please take your hand off my back. It's sticking to me."

"I love it when you fall asleep in the kids' room
so that I can have our queen-size bed all to myself."

"Brush your teeth. I want to kiss you."

"Do you like these skinny jeans on me?"
"I like YOU."
"Yea, but the skinny jeans?"
"I like YOU."

"Let's play masseuse. I'll be your customer."
"I'm tired and have to work in the morning."
"I wish I was still your GIRLFRIEND."

"You look pretty when you sleep. Except when you fall asleep sitting up.
Then it's all ugly - weird eye movement - and drooling with your mouth open."

"You make that ZIT look beautiful."

"Ok. Don't kiss me anymore. You taste like turkey."

"I don't want to hold your hand on the carousel,
it's sweaty and people will think we're weird."

"Don't go to sleep. Stay up with me and work... and eat apple pie!"
"I'm sooooo tired."
"If we were dating you would NOT be sleeping."
"If we were dating I would NOT be getting up for work at 5:30AM."



And they all said, "Amen."

Reliving Our First Date

Labor Day, 7 years ago... Nathan and I had our first official date!
I grew up in a small town. If you blinked while driving by, you'd miss it.
Every year, for 93 years now, they throw a Labor Day celebration -
complete with a good 'ole down-home parade of mostly tractors,
bingo, music, ball games, food, etc!!!

This year we went back with both our kids for the first time!
It was different... mainly because we couldn't stare longingly into each other's
eyes or have a deep heart-to-heart conversation for longer than 10 seconds
before one of our children was trying to join the parade or get run over by
a passing tractor. Kids! We're trying to re-live some memories here...
memories that are the foundation of your very lives! No. Big. Deal.

We also camped out for the weekend at this place we like to call "the club."
Another place that's like home to me - another place that we spent a lot of time when dating!
Just an old beach and park club that we visit to escape the world. It's wonderful.
Full of cottonwood trees and good-hearted people that wave and say "hi" whether
they know you or not. It's like the South... but totally located in the North.

WE HAD A THE BEST TIME. And seriously, our kids made it that much better.
So special to share such happy memories - and the old haunts with them!


Anyone watch Parenthood the series?! My family SO reminds me of the Braverman clan here... all the aunts and uncles, cousins, grandma and grandpagathered to cheer on one of our own in the Teen Idol competition!!!He took 2nd place!


Walking down memory lane all day is exhausting! Wonderful, but exhausting!

Date Night: Checking In

Back when we were first married (All of four years ago - I know, we're profesh now. Ha!) I made the mistake
of letting things slide. They were mainly just little things. Big girl panties in hand, I thought
I was doing us both a favor by just moving on. No big deal. I've got this.

Fact of the matter was, my brain's hard drive was storing up memories. 3 months later
Nathan would have a melt-down mania on his hands. And by meltdown I mean...
let me paint a picture for you:

"But you left your clothes in the bathroom over and over again which means you don't
appreciate that I clean the house... which is probably why you ignored those two text messages
I sent you about my bad day at school... and you probably don't even want to be married to me
because you fall asleep as soon as you come home from working 14 hours straight... and
I am never making dinner again due to the fact that you only ate half of the soup I packed -
you obviously hate my cooking."

Funny. Not funny. And mostly NOT true. After time, it all gets totally screwed up.
That's why we check-in a whole lot more these days. Saving the state of the union -
one heart-to-heart conversation at a time!

We've learned that it is better to check-in and drop-off the good, the bad,
and the ugly stuff every day - than to let time grow little problems into something bigger
and hardly relevant down the road.

So we spent date night last week just talking. We sat at the dining room table for hours
just processing... laughing... planning... dreaming... organizing the memories in our heads
so that Brittany doesn't haven't nightmares and meltdowns in the future! The romance of nerds.

Moral of the story... talking about things is a great idea!


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::: Apple-Walnut Chicken Salad :::
+ + + + +

chopped romaince & spinach topped with...
grilled chicken breasts (garlic, sea salt, pepper, extra virgin olive oil)
chopped green apple
cucumbers
cranberries
walnuts (we toasted ours in olive oil and dusted them with sugar!)
pomegranate (or other sweet & fruity) salad dressing
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Have a great weekend, y'all!!! Enjoy the holiday - and don't forget to enter
my giveaway that runs through this weekend! $100 Target Gift Card!
Just in time for summer!!!
XOXO