Our Ocean Adventure

Last month we loaded up the van and hit the road! Traveling in a 5X10 foot space with three children
six and under is not for the feint of heart. Sixteen and a half hours later we were all laugh-crying
ourselves out of the sardine can on wheels and kissing the pavement triumphantly....

we arrived in North Carolina!!!

You wanna know the first thing I saw? A COCKROACH as big as my head.
#holdme

The drive actually wasn't bad. We brought so many snacks. Like so many. And an entire SEASON of
Curious George which was promptly ingrained into our brains. We also stopped at Chick-fil-a and
let them drink root beer and run off energy in the germ-infested play place. Parents of the year!!!
Yea. We like to live it up around here!!!

If you're looking for travel tips -- that's my best stuff, you guys. Gold.

Seriously though -- no lie -- my kids are awesome and traveled so well; all things considered!!

Anyway. It was amazing to visit my sister, Nellie, and her little family!!! We stayed at their house
for a few days before we headed to the beach --- where we rented these little houses that made us
next door neighbors for the first time in our lives! It was magical. 300 feet from the ocean. Maybe?!

You could hear the waves. See the view from bed. I would have been ok moving in. Let's just stay.
We would walk over this little boardwalk and BAM: the Atlantic Ocean!!!

Everyone had so much fun playing, eating, beaching, napping together!!!
I love the cousins together! Makes me happy.

Our kids learned to boogie board. Heck, even I learned to boogie board! The ocean actually
ripped my swimsuit off down to my waist and I lost the house key (that was tucked in said swimsuit).
It was epic. Very liberating experience.

I will always remember the LAUGHTER of Bella when she met the waves for the first time.
The JOY on Zay's face when he would catch a ride on his board.
And the ENERGY that is Judah, "Today is a good day to surf, mom." -- with that hair of his!
I can't even. Lol.

We took home suntans as souvenirs.... and buckets full of shells that smell like rotting crabs???!
I make the boys keep them out of the house. Except for the ones we made into merman necklaces....

So radically cool, dude.

Love my people and my sister and her family!!!
Glad we could share an ocean adventure together!!!
Take me baaaaaack!!!

My Wedding Day Was NOT the Best Day of My Life

Seven years ago we said "I do" and did all the holy, wonderful things to bind us together as
husband and wife in front of all our family and friends.... but no, I don't think it was the
"best day of our lives".

The "best" has come in all the days after -- in the waking up over and over again in the "real world",
choosing Christ before we choose ourselves, saying "I will, I'm sorry, I'm showing up, I love you."

Sounds all easy peasy, but for anyone that has been married, you know this is HARD and HOLY work --
NOT exactly what you find on a Hallmark greeting card. Ha!

When I was fifteen I wanted to be a nun. Like hardcore. Long story short, God made it pretty clear
that was NOT His will for my life. I stood in front of a statue of the baby Jesus during Christmastime
in Rome, Italy and told Him, hands on my hips, "Well, I offered to be YOUR bride. Marriage is for weaklings."

Basically, "Your loss, Lord."

Oh Brittany. Thank goodness we grow up. And then grow up some more, right?

I think the hardest part of life is trusting God. Like, I know I often think, "I hope YOU
have a plan..." OF COURSE HE HAS A PLAN! I'm basically an annoying 5 year old in the
backseat, "Are we there yet?"

God knew. He knew I was really going to LIKE Nathan. Like.... like-like-looooove!!!!
But seriously, sometimes I pinch myself, is this my real life? I am so blessed. WE are so blessed.

And we think that the "best" has come in the birth of our babies, building a life together,
getting through the hard times to come out stronger, more united, determined to keep working on
heaven together!!! Each year brings us into a deeper, more comfortable kind of love. NOT the kind
made of unicorns and fluffy bunny rabbits, but the kind of love that dares to imitate Calvary.

My life for yours. Laid down. Surrendered.
Easter morning glory kind of love.... and THESE,
these are the best DAYS of our lives!!!

Do we get it right every day? Absolutely not. We are two hopelessly flawed human beings living under
the same roof! We are both firstborns with dominating temperaments.... yea. Imagine. Lol.

Sometimes I joke with Nathan, "I am so proud of myself for marrying you."
Like I did a good job picking out a husband or something?! But the truth is....

ALL JESUS. I'm thankful He didn't want me for a nun....
and that we could celebrate SEVEN YEARS of marriage this month!!!!
SO THANKFUL FOR THIS GOOD LIFE. THIS GOOD VOCATION.

I was going to say "back when we were dating" -- but then I'm like SCRATCH THAT!
We are STILL dating. Married, but dating! Husband and wife, but still very much
"boyfriend and girlfriend" and all that romantic jazz.

For real you guys -- I am HEAD OVER HEELS in love with this man.

But yea back when we were dating... we visited this enchanting place....

And we ran away this past weekend to visit again!!! So much like Pride and Prejudice --
walking the beautiful grounds and stealing a kiss on the wide open front lawn.

Call me Elizabeth Bennet. Call him Mr. Darcy.

How to Date Your Spouse

Remember your dating life before marriage? It was so spontaneous and frolic-ky...


Like, "Oh! Do you want to go get pancakes at 2am?!" And then you just did it.
You'd sit side-by-side, sharing bites, laughing, having a real conversation in between
all the red heart emoticons. There was so much time! Time to spare. Time to waste.
Time to change my clothes 6 times before Nathan rang the door bell. The good 'ole days.

We were laughing not too long ago about how strategic we are with our time now. We don't
have time to take a nap together BEFORE we spend the day riding the motorcycle BEFORE we
spend the evening restaurant hopping to try all the things... because we can.

For real, one time Nathan planned an 8 restaurant excursion back before we were married.
I had to figure out the riddle of the evening...

Bruschetta's
Rosa's Pizza
Ibiza Tapas
Tom's Diner
Thai Me Up
Ali Baba's
Nakama Japanese Steakhouse
Yo Rita

He was so cute. Still is. Let's just look at him. He's all mine, ladies.
I can hear my little sisters in my head: #vomit.
This is why we are going to have so many babies.


But something we walked away with from our marriage prep classes was to

be INTENTIONAL about DATE NIGHTS.

And I don't think we've missed a week in almost 7 years of marriage? Go us.
No, but seriously -- that was not to boast, but to shed light on the blessing and
importance of this in our marriage.

We just decided that every week we would have one night specifically set aside for just the
two of us. Sometimes we get a babysitter, but more often than not it is one of our classic
"at home date nights". And our kids are aware now! They tuck themselves in bed and double check
with sheepish grins, "It's date night, riiiiight?" You can feel the security level in their
hearts rise. I mean, date nights are healthy for EVERYONE!


And I'll do anything for my kids. Even if it means dating their father. Wink.

Just those couple of hours to forget the housework, the finances, the children (I mean, don't
really forget them!), the rush of the week -- and just BE together -- make a difference!

The other night we were driving home from our date night out on the town (ow ow!) and I felt a little
giddy girlfriend-like?! I don't know. I tried to put it into words for Nathan and all that came out was,

"I like just being you and me."

THIS life is happening...

but before all of "this", and through all of "this", and after all of "this" --
at the end of the day, I go home with Nathan Vail. And we're working and praying and building
the best foundation we can right now. Even in the usual chaos of family life.


We don't let all of that be an EXCUSE not to make time for each other,
but as a REASON to make it a priority.

I went ahead and polled the crowd for this one!
Here are some tried and true date night ideas...

For the musically inclined...
"This is weird, but we have a lot of fun watching concerts on TV together!"
- Abby Moldovan

"Dinner date & Musical/Play at the Fine Arts Center!"
- Julie Fluette

When a babysitter cannot be found...
"Backyard bonfire! We read books by the fire while enjoying virgin pina coladas, country
music on Pandora and talking about our favorite moments of married life!"
- Nellie Simoneau

"Movie on the couch or coffee in the afternoon!"
- Colleen Mason

If you are travel lovers...
"Corny, but we are geography geeks and love to quiz each other and look at maps...
and then have fun taking our own adventure!"
- Natalie Reeves

"We like geocaching - so we look to see if there is something nearby and then we sit down
and make up an interesting adventure story on how we found it."
- Stacy Pustka

Calling all culinary adventurists...
"Going out for dinner!"
- Maripaz DeLuna-Rouleau

"Either long coffee dates or an evening dinner -
followed by a walk through the countryside. #26goingon86"
- Gemma Watts

A walk on the wild side...
"We like the shooting range, goodwill dates, playing board games and eating brownies
while catching up at the end of a day."
- Amy Giove

Because it smells good in this store...
"Menards!"
- April Kirkpatrick

To keep it real...
"What is this thing called dates?"
- Valerie Caron Darragh of BLANQI

...because sometimes that is reality.

But here's to being intentional and strategic in marriage about dating!
Because our dating life shouldn't die at the altar.

Of course, it should die in regards to dating other people. Oh geez.
Just date your spouse, ok?!

6 Years

He taught me to drive his motorcycle on this country road. We caught fireflies and took a walk that night as well. He told me, "Hey, you know you're leading this walk as much as I am, right?" I don't even remember responding. I was willing to walk all night; the night I fell in love with Nathan.





I tried to convince him to date one of my Christian girlfriends. I'm not particularly good at playing matchmaker or anything, I just get a kick out of the imaginary pairings and mock marriages in my brain. Needless to say, he didn't like my idea. And he still doesn't like it when I go playing matchmaker for other people. He calls me "Emma" sometimes. Any Jane Austen fans? It usually means: A.) Badly done, Brittany or B.) Stop it now.

"I've got the perfect gal for you to date," I told him one afternoon while riding on the back of his bike.

"Can you just find me someone... like you?"

He was dead serious. Always so forward. For real- it was a little painful to watch him fall all over himself, making passes at me time and again. It was adorable, but painful. Haha. It was as cheesy as you are imagining. Now Nathan admits to feeling no control over the words that were coming out of his mouth. He's told me that he would say things and then his inner monologue read: "WHAT AM I DOING?!" Love does crazy things to the human heart. Turns people into walking Hallmark cards!

One time I was sitting at the bar at Applebees, where we both worked, waiting on my food, when he just real subtly dropped, "You're really cute!" To offset the awkwardness, I awkwardly replied, "I know." He just pushed further, "No, you are cuter than you know!" Yea, ok, buddy. Ha. I wasn't in a position where I could date him. Heck, I wasn't even sure I wanted to date him! I seriously would get rid of serving shifts when we were scheduled to work together because I just wanted to "be friends".

At least that's what I told myself.

Like the scene from Little Mermaid, when Ariel is in big trouble with her dad, "He's a human! You're a mermaid!" Every girl born in the 80's has this memorized by heart, am I right? But yea, I had something similar reeling through my head, "I'm a Catholic! And he's a Nazarene!" He doesn't like that. He'd tell you, "Christian." Which is true, but he has the vibes of a Nazarene. It paints the picture and adds to the drama here. So I'm gonna leave it.

My mom fell in love with him first. That's not awkward. She MADE me invite him out to this study she was leading called Theology of the Body. Literally, she put the phone book (remember when?) in my hand and told me not to come out of my room until I had called and asked him to attend. Luckily he said "yes" and I got to come out of my room. So basically it was an arranged marriage.

The night of the first meeting he came out on his motorcycle. We sat at the same table together with a bunch of other young adults, including my boyfriend at the time. Afterwards we had a bonfire in my backyard where Nathan shamelessly sang a song that he wrote for me. In front of current boyfriend. I thought nothing of it, but I'm pretty sure my boyfriend told me that he would "rip his face off" if Nathan sang to me again. And my mom was all like, "Oh my gosh! Nathan is wonderful!" #facepalm. I like to think we gave Nicholas Sparks a run for his money.

So after all that, I did the only logical thing to do. I asked him out.

Yup.

The relationship with the boyfriend was rapidly ending anyway and I was hurt, and probably should have waited to officially "break up", but I didn't. And this is exactly why I tell people NOT to date in high school. It just rarely makes for a comfortable story to share. Ha.

Nathan picked me up from my hair appointment that day. And when he dropped me off, he prayed with me. I couldn't see straight between my broken heart and growing fondness for him. I liked this man. A lot. He felt like home. You know what I'm talking about? I just knew, ok?! Cliche of all cliches.

It wasn't a few weeks later, after my previous relationship was officially over, that we stood on my back porch together.

"What am I going to do with this heart?" Nathan asked.

"You're gonna marry it," I prophesied.

Apparently I'm forward too. Match made in heaven.

And just like that, 3 years later, after breaking up and getting back together 3 times, we realized that King Triton was wrong all along. Humans and Mermaids can totally get married if God wants them too.


Celebrating 6 years.
Happy Anniversary to us. XO.


P.S. I'm the mermaid. Nathan is the human. In case anyone was confused.

I Have to Earn My Husband's Love

Marriage is funny. It's like you think you know someone well enough to go and marry
them, vowing to spend the rest of your God-given life by their side, and then you wake up,
oh every other morning, like, "WHO ARE YOU?!"



Don't get me wrong. It's pretty fantastic. The quirkier the better, right?
Change, habits, old jokes that are getting reeeeally old, and the whole new level
of "I just farted under the covers and I don't care" comfort -- are gold.

Marriage is basically an Ivy League level education in EVERY department.
For example: after my husband successfully switched my old phone to a new one...

Nathan: "Did you get my texts?"
Me: "Yes."
Nathan: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yea, you said, 'That will be $75. In kisses!'"
Nathan: "The next time you send me a flirtatious text I am go to read it back
to you like an Encyclopedia article."
Me:

They don't teach THAT in Marriage and Family where I went to school.
You got to learn those ropes in the trenches, people.

Mental note: respond better to flirtatious texts in the future.

This morning I woke up and found a very damp hand towel hanging by the shower in
our master bathroom. I felt bad as I chuckled at the thought of my husband drying
himself off with such meager material. And then I thought, "he didn't say a word."

We have TEN regular bath towels, all of which were dirty (which is saying a lot since we reuse towels) and he didn't mention it. Like he doesn't care that I'm not a laundry goddess or something. He also kissed my sleeping face goodbye around 7:30AM and didn't mention THAT either.
The whole I was sleeping, and he was going to work deal.

But in my defense, I didn't get to go to bed early like he did. It's like we have a 4 month
old and episodes of Fixer Upper to watch or something. Just sayin'. Ha.

I recently asked my husband to tell me all the ways that he felt loved by me.
I definitely was naïve in thinking that "all the ways" would be the same for "all the years".
Rookie wives. I tell ya.

After we both took some notes, Ivy League level notes, Nathan looked at me and asked if
I knew that I didn't have to earn his love. That things like clean bath towels, dinner,
and an orderly home are nice, but not needed for him to love me.

I shot him the squinty eye and was like, "Um we should experiment with that. Pretty sure
you'd be fed up after a couple weeks of eating cereal for dinner and dousing yourself in
cologne to mask the dirty laundry fact." WIFE FOR SALE.

DON'T HAVE TO EARN HIS LOVE
Call me wounded I guess. My brain doesn't register that well, and it makes my heart hurt.
Work hard, get rewarded. Family of origin? Country of birth? Oldest child syndrome?
You just DO things and people are happy, right? Get it out of my head.

The other day my counselor asked me what I would say if my child came up to me and said,
"Mommy, I'm going to do everything I can to make you love me." WHOA.

"Stop," I sighed. I would say, "Stop. There's not ANYTHING you can do to add or take
away one ounce of my love for you." It's complete. Whole. Unconditional.

And yes, I think that God maybe loves me like that; that my husband loves me like that.
It's mind blowing. A holy and humbling experience. Jesus' love is one thing, but to be
vulnerable to a human? To trust that I am enough and all the other things are nice,
but not needed? WHOA. Jesus, are you sure? Nathan, are you sure?

Whoever the Jesus, mother, father, child, husband, etc. figure is in your life...
are you sure?

COME AS YOU ARE.
Just rest in that.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest."
- Matthew 11:28
Now I'm not saying things are perfect or anything, but it's nice to peel back another
layer, go one level deeper, take two steps forward and trust and feel and love in that
space of new vulnerability. All bath towels aside. It's warm and fuzzy until...

My husband walks in the door from work, still chatting away on that irritating little
earpiece I went and *rolls eyes* bought him for Christmas... "Who was that, hun?"

We'll call his pal, John.

Nathan: "Yea John set a wedding date with his fiancé. August 14th of this year!"
Me: "That's CRAZY!" I said, eyes lighting up with serendipity.
Nathan:
Me: "Do you know what August 14th is?"
Nathan:
Me: "Wow. Only took 5 years to forget our anniversary."
Nathan: "Well, what is August 9th then?"
Me:

Well, that must have been the day you married the other girl. I don't know! Are you
kidding me? I see a lot of drying off with hand towels in your near future, buddy.
Jk. Jk.

COME AS YOU ARE, oh forgetful one.
I love you.

Why We Will Not Be Sterilized

We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:

"Do you know what you are having?"

Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"

"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"

Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"

We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.

I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?

Could be wrong.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.

After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.

If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.

People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.

I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.

It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!

Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).

Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...

why "fix" something that is not broken?

I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.

Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --

in the great mystery of God.

And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!



_________________________________________________________________

P.S.
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.

P.P.S.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)

FACEBOOK. || INSTAGRAM. || TWITTER.

What I Want My Kids to Know about Dating in High School

This has been a long time coming. I guess since I had one boyfriend in high school, I am
basically the Jedi Master on the topic - all things considered. I joke. But I've had enough
folks ask me about my thoughts on the matter, I figured I'd make it official and POST.

I have to prelude this with a significant disclaimer - in the likely case that some hundred
people (give or take) who knew me and said boyfriend in high school are reading this.

I honestly don't think that a more "ideal" dating situation for two 17 year olds could be
constructed. We were both homeschooled, from big families, with solid formation and strong
convictions in the morality department. Obviously, we went our separate ways 2 years later,
but I wouldn't say that it was a "failed" relationship or one that I "regret".

I just wish I had been able to see the big picture.

It was a small chapter of my life; one that God allowed to be written for one reason or another.
The relationship definitely changed me. Not for the worse or anything, but that's what happens,
right? People leave an impression - and that's why I don't "regret" the whole thing. I mean it
plays a part in who I am today. And thus a POST is born. There you go.

You know, my parents were right though. I love admitting that NOW, but at the time I would
have cried them an ocean of estrogen if they would have ACTED on what they tried to tell me.

THERE IS TIME.
JUST BE SEVENTEEN.

They also had all these other crazy ideas about "courtship" and "chaperoned encounters"
in the living room which I promptly poo-pooed all over because "we are NOT the Duggars!"
Luckily they didn't push that agenda, but I had to share because it wasn't funny then,
but it sure is funny now!

Anyway. I digress.

Here are the 3 things that I want my own kids to know about dating in high school...

1.) FRIENDS. Focus on friends. Guys friends - gal friends - ENJOY EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.
Take advantage of those "non romantic" relationships to learn about who you really are
and want to become. I think it's hard to concentrate on others around you when you are
raging with adolescent hormones. Am I wrong? I mean, when you're "in love", you eat, sleep,
breathe that interest. More or less - depends I guess.

But spend the weekends with your friends - eating Ben and Jerry's out of the carton
and having lip-syncing contests with hairbrush microphones. Or if you're a boy, do whatever
boys do?! Make fire, shoot some tin cans, eat an entire convenient store worth of potato chips?
You catch my drift.

You will have the REST OF YOUR LIFE to spend with your spouse. Wait for it. Just be.

2.) FUTURE SPOUSE. Speaking of "your spouse" - PRAY FOR THEM. Know that if you are
called to dating and marriage that it is waiting for you. Dating in high school may or may not, but
most likely, present opportunities that weigh on the virtues of purity and chastity. It's a lot
to deal with even OUTSIDE OF HIGH SCHOOL - let alone when you're dealing with those raging
hormones I was talking about above. Not worth it. Don't carry that challenge until you are
good and ready.

Not that my kids will care or want to mimic me, but writing letters to my future spouse was
SO GOOD for my own heart. Definitely made me "think twice" about who I dated and how I carried
myself in those relationships. My future spouse was REAL to me. You will NEVER regret honoring
them in all ways.

3.) JESUS. He has a PLAN FOR YOU in your singleness - things that He wants you to
accomplish without a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or children attached. Look for it, love it, live it!
Whether that's school, mission work, ministry, etc. I don't know. But I DO know that you should take
advantage of the season and be fully alive in the joy of that. You might still do school, mission work,
ministry, etc. WITH your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or children someday (and it will be beautiful!),
but love the moments before and hold nothing back.

But I think making decisions about what comes after high school will be easier, more clear,
more of WHO YOU ARE and less of WHO "WE" ARE without a significant other in the picture.
You've gotta do what YOU are called to do before you say "I DO!"

Jesus dreams BIG for you. Give Him your hands, your heart - always do HIS will.
Momma can't argue with that.



People have asked me if I'll let my own kids date in high school. I have no plans of stopping
them at the moment. But you can bet they'll have to "hear it all" from their mother just in case
they might be swayed. If THAT fails, I may have to try scaring them away from the idea with
some of those "living room courtship" ideas my own parents had for me! Wink.

The Treasure is Right in Front of You

My husband texted me the other day and was all like, "Hey, I left this lecture on CD in the
van for you to listen to." "Acres of Diamonds" by Russell Conwell. Great. Thanks.

You gotta understand. I have been listening to "Farmer Boy" by Laura Ingalls Wilder on CD
in the van for SIX weeks on repeat with my kids. I'd go and try to turn on the radio and
one kid or another would plead with such scholastic-like virtue, "Turn on Faaaarmer Boy!!!"
I mean, how can you say "no" to that and instead turn on "Drunk on a Plane" by Dierks Bentley?

You can't.

Not ANOTHER book on CD for the car, please?

But seriously, I was thinking, "Yea, I'm going to listen to this in the same way that I sit next
to you during as many World Cup games that my little heart can bear!" Just to be close - to share
his passions, dreams, excitement for something that is so beyond my own world.

I love my husband. So I will love listening to this lecture. And as it turns out...

a little more than I thought I would.







Story after story of men seeking fortune and treasure only to later discover that it was literally
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM as they sold millions away for pennies to chase after some dream.

Obviously I'm not sitting on an oil field (am I?) or have diamonds clogging up my creek bed (I wish!),
but it got me thinking about what is right in front me, right now, at this time in my life that
I do not want to miss - that I do not want to sell off for granted. What is my treasure?

I'm a mother, nurturer, educator. I stay home full time, a gift, a life, that my husband works so
hard to keep my reality. I'm not out climbing the corporate ladder or cashing in nice bonus checks
every couple of months. I DO, however, climb the bunk bed ladder every morning to tuck in blankets,
and the other day I found what I thought was a raisin on the floor... but no, that was a nice
bonus. Should have checked that BEFORE I picked it up. Live and learn.

I remember when Isaiah, my first son, was born. It was like I hit a brick wall. I had always had
a job, been in school, leading ministries - all of it to be replaced with the cries of a newborn
and endless rounds of breastfeeding while watching Food Network from my recliner in my air
conditioned apartment. It was a hard life.

I was used to being the star, the center of attention - the person everyone was going to for answers,
solutions, ideas for the next big event, ministry launch, retreat, etc. And now - I couldn't
even get the local nursing home to let me come in and do volunteer hours with my infant.
Seriously, that happened. Along with being denied to substitute/teach catechism class at
my parish. So upset. I AM OVER-QUALIFIED was ringing in my ears. God, use me!?

A year went by. Another year. Another baby. And finally one day I surrendered. I let go.
I was finally comfortable on what I imagined to be the "back burner" and understood that even
though I was "qualified" to do "all the things" that I thought I "should be doing" -
that God saw fit to call me into motherhood, to entrust me with these little lives
that truly need me MORE than the "next big ministry" at my church... at least for now.

I was used to leading Bible studies on the beach for throngs of college students, organizing
rides and details for homeless ministry, leading door-to-door missions downtown Chicago...

and now? Now I read "subject - verb" Bible stories to my children who act like they are
listening and then ask, "Mom, can I be a Ninja Turtle?" Jesus, baby... Jesus! Focus.
I love, hold, feed, clean, listen to these hearts, minds, faces, hands that have been given
to me and I no longer wonder. I no longer wonder if it is "enough".

I know it is.

Because as time goes on and I see my son break apart his last cookie to share with his brother
when he doesn't have to or my other son demands that I roll down his car window so that he can talk
to the homeless man on the street... I know that it is all sinking in. That there is fruit in this
labor. And honestly - as humbling as it is to admit - I preach it to them, but don't always LIVE
it - and when they decide to live it? Man, it gets me.

It's simple, but wondrously complex.

My treasure is right in front of me and its name is Isaiah + Judah + baby.

When Your Spouse Changes

Nathan grabbed a pad of paper and asked me to follow him.
Like an annoying 8 year old I kept asking, "Yea, but what's the paper for?"

"You'll see," he said with a grin.


I think part of the beauty of the human experience is change. From the simple to the complex, we are
not confined to those scrunchy socks we wore in the 90's or the insecure, out-spoken, wild, *insert
adjective* image of ourselves that we are convinced is true. Time, experience, influences have their
way with us, and year after year we morph again and again, in butterfly-like glory.
Stagnancy seems near impossible. We change.

He slowly ripped out two pieces of paper and handed one to me.

"We are both going to write down 5 ways that we have seen each other
CHANGE since we got married," he told me.

My eyes grew wide and I laughed at him; suddenly uncomfortable that I was about to be examined
so closely - fearful that he would see the changes that I don't even want to look at myself.
But I knew it was a good idea, kind of wishing I had come up with it myself, and began to write.

We were both so quiet, so serious - smiling to ourselves occasionally - nodding our heads.

The words we penned were ones of glory, achievement, growth. Written applause laced with
gratitude - we've grown, we've changed - and we were celebrating each other.

I think the pessimist in me was afraid my husband was going to write down, "My wife's stomach now
resembles more of a road map - more stretch marks than ever!" But, no. Ha! The conversation went
well beyond the "5 ways" - leading us both to examine and share what we saw about ourselves too.

It was raw, honest, funny, endearing...
made me love my spouse all the more.

Honestly, even though I think change is beautiful, I'm not a big fan of the idea in general. I prefer
routine, boring, the predictable ebb and flow of day to day life with the people I love. Perhaps that is
why I was uncomfortable at first with the idea of writing it all down. Fearful that it would make me
anxious or sad that time has had its way with us.

I know that the years will hold changes that we love and changes that weigh heavy on our hearts,
but today... today is good. And in writing down the "5 ways" we found much joy - relishing in the
words of encouragement and affirmation we had for each other.

Change is inevitable. I hope we (and you!) find much to celebrate throughout the years!

Go grab a pad of paper?


_________________________________________
The Lily Field doesn't end here... praise the Lord!!!
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5 Year Anniversary

For our 5th anniversary we were able to steal away - just the two of us!
Uninterrupted conversation, the freedom to be spontaneous, eye contact, holding hands,
sleeping in, great food, beating my husband at chess for the first time, dreaming, sharing,
living life side by side - all such an incredible gift. We feel so very blessed to have these
5 years. Our hearts are full. Thank you, Jesus.

We stayed at the most enchanting bed & breakfast in the city - a small taste of Italy in Chicago!
I cannot say enough good things about Villa D' Citta. The old world charm, the luxurious details,
the 5 star service. Cathy, the hostess, not only greeted us by name, but went out the night
we arrived to buy gluten-free Belgian waffle mix so that I could have the full experience as well!
I don't remember the last time I had a Belgian waffle. I could have kissed her.

If you are coming to the city or looking for a romantic escape - Villa D' Citta.
And I was NOT paid to say that. Just sayin'.