Homeschooling My Kids Ruined My Life

I have thought all along that because this is how I grew up, that this is what my family did, that being
a second generation homeschooler would make me happy. It makes sense; it's part of my identity,
my ethos. I am one of twenty-one grandchildren on my mother's side, and all of us were homeschooled.

This is what we do.

We ordered all the books and went through all the motions this year. Counting, rhyming, memorizing,
sounding out words -- starting over -- crying, laughing, reading good stories and drinking warm tea.

We explored the world around us more than the books on our shelves; making notes and coloring in the
details of the magic found in nature, free play and being little. We collected all the treasures to
keep in our pockets, mason jars and hearts.

Instead of the routine I had envisioned, it was raw and unpredictable. I had goals for me and
my children; milestones and achievements I wanted to hang on the wall. Not for accolades of course,
but just for me to know, "Hey, we did that" --

some came easy, some came hard, and some didn't come at all.

There were days I tried to stuff our school into this box of expectations and elaborations;
doing all the things that I thought we must be doing to be a real school --

beating myself up at the dinner table, "He didn't get it. We had to start over. I'm doing something wrong." I'd throw my hands in the air, go to sleep and wake up to start all over again. Is this it?
Is this what I am going to spend the next 25+ years of my life doing? Schooling children in my bathrobe
and messy bun with a barely warm cup of coffee in hand?!!!!

And believe it or not, somewhere in the middle of all that, I think I found myself?

Somewhere between singing math facts for peanut butter cups and snuggling on the couch
to devour Magic Tree House books -- somewhere between wiping finger paints off the walls
and scraping play doh out of my carpet --

I realized that homeschooling my kids had ruined my life in the best way.

It had changed me and made me a better person and mama. Nudging me, sometimes ruffling my feathers,
straight out of my comfort zone and into this new place where I am being transformed...

learning to "let it go" and just plain have more grace on myself and my children --
being ok to forget perfection and just do what's perfect "for us".

It has made me little and curious again. With a thirst to explore, go outside, get messy.
I want to BE IN IT with them -- the world brand new all over again!!!

I didn't see it coming. The gift to be had in the ebb and flow of teaching and learning
with my children. What a gift.

My Favorite Part of Homeschooling

When we first started homeschooling, I was telling my husband every other day that we should
start looking at potential schools for our children because I just couldn't do it. "I AM FAILING."
No one listens to me. Everyone laughs hysterically when I make letter sounds. They just want to do math
all day, every day. We can't even pray without someone needing to pee. He's touching me. I'm hungry.
Baby's crying. Don't move. "Ok, we're done with school for today."

...as I gather whatever morale I have left and go nurse Bella in a secluded room with the noisemaker
on HIGH. Take it from here, Wild Kratts?! That'll be acceptable on a transcript, right?
Elementary school of Netflix. Check.

So one morning, about two weeks in to this whole fiasco of bright ideas about homeschool Kindergarten
lessons plans and legit schedules, I had an epiphany. Possibly a conversion. Maybe both?!
An epiphersion.

We don't teach our kids at home only to imitate everything they do in the system. We homeschool
to give ourselves and our children the FREEDOM to learn, explore, create and be at their own pace,
in the environment we think is best for them at this time. Amongst other things of course.

I decided to quit saying "NO" to my children's cues
and let them lead and teach me (teaching them) instead.

You want to do math all day? Fine.
You want to cut straight lines until we run out of paper? Great.
You want to play outside? I'm coming too.

Obviously this is all within reason and their general safety. The other day Judah told me he had
an "idea" and asked for all the pillows in the house and a tube of caulk. Apparently he had a vision
of a "giant pillow" he could use on the trampoline (this is what I'm dealing with!), but it had to be
massively reimagined and funded by the parent-teacher association of me.

And now it's my favorite part of homeschooling.
Learning with my children rather than teaching at them.
Getting on their level and seeing the world again through the eyes of a child.
Feeling the excitement and wonder and joy of listening and understanding -
of being free to be wild and whimsy.

We felt called, and knew it would be a good idea to homeschool our children this year, but I didn't
see that it was going to be such a gift for me too. I need this as much as they do. Together we are
learning and re-learning the beauty of the world around us -- and all the lessons God has tucked
away for us to turn over, explore, dissect, collect and LOVE. It is good to be little.

Kiwi Crate and Craziness

The other day I had just packed my biological sardines into the van after successfully,
not without tears, braving my holy trinity of grocery stores: Costco, Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.
I was patting myself on the back real big as we glided onto the interstate; music blaring,
baby sleeping and a whole carton of peanut butter cups in my lap. Life is good.

And then my five year old piped up, "Hey, mom, I gotta pee."

OF COURSE I FORGOT TO HAVE THEM ALL PEE. *bangs head on steering wheel*
But I have peanut butter cups. Angels sing. If only very quietly.

"Like bad bad, buddy!?" I hopefully question.

Next thing I know, I'm pulled over with a van full of children and groceries in the middle
of rush hour Chicago on the side of the road explaining that I firmly believe, with all my
heart, that toddler boys can pee in a plastic water bottle.

We laughed so hard I was crying. I looked at my other son and asked him if he wanted
to take a shot at the bottle. He said, "Um no," in between maniacal bouts of laughter.

"Don't drink out of the water bottle, mom!" was the joke all the long way home.

I feel like this sums up my life right now.

It's just crazy. Two days go by and I think I have a routine down and then BAM -
a certain baby doesn't sleep through the night and I'm making dinner in my pajamas.

My dear sister reminded me, "That's parenthood, Brittany."
And that same dear sister, God bless her, recently sent a KIWI CRATE our way!!!
That was a nice segue, right?! And so nice of her!



It was for Judah's 4th birthday and the thrill was intense. My boys are like *tight*
so the joy was shared all around! They were so happy -- and I was so happy -- knowing that
EVERYTHING we need (down to emergency "back-up" glue) to create a couple really cool crafts
to go along with a theme and story was in that box! I suck at kid craft time. I kissed the box.

KIWI CRATE offers a monthly subscription where a specially curated box full of craft happiness
comes to your house for your little one! Or send it off as a birthday present like my sister did!
Or Christmas present! Or "just because" from grandma!

For us it is also a nice supplement to our homeschool routine!
Where the art department struggle is real.

P.S. Right now you can use code: SAVE25 at check-out to save 25%
on your first month PLUS you'll get free shipping with that! Wha what?!?


This box was a Western theme -- so we made a horse.
Pretty sure my boys named him "Hookey."

My boys also did their first little sewing project! They made these little bags for a
"rodeo" toss!!! SO. CUTE. I am keeping these forever. And will awkwardly give them to their wives
when they get married some day. Ok probably not. HA.


"Buddy, I'm so glad you got a KIWI CRATE," are the words exchanged as this picture was shot.
I kid you not. I am not making this up. Can you even handle this brother love?!


Check it out and always always ALWAYS have your kids pee before a long trip home.
Rookie parents. They get distracted by peanut butter cups.