I couldn't help but smile today at Mass as I completely missed the homily and could barely get through a single verse of a hymn. And it wasn't because I was spacing out or didn't want to participate either.
It is just hard to stay focused when you are helping your 1 year old refine his inner gymnast by balancing on the kneeler, making sure that the Cheerios go into the mouths of your children and not flying into the face of your neighbor, and keeping the peace between two very crazy boys who always seem to want what the other has!
Before kids, I had all the time in the world to talk to God. SILENT adoration hours are a thing of the past. Saying a rosary in ONE sitting? Who does that?! Reading a Bible that has neon pictures, chunky pages,
and is seriously paraphrased for a younger crowd counts, right?!
I've actually been beating myself up over this topic for the past couple of years. I have dealt with this lie:
"Hey Brittany, you know you are not so holy if you don't sit down
and have sacred, alone time with God every day?"
Maybe you've heard it before?
After being up all night with a newborn, the idea of waking 20 minutes earlier than everyone else to pray seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Naptime rolls around and even though a quiet, mid-day retreat with God sounds great - sometimes I am so overcome with weariness from chasing around two baby boys... or the need to prepare dinner or fold laundry that I put God on hold.
Last year, as I was almost in tears over my serious lack of what my idea of "quality prayer time" is, my spiritual guide looked at me and was like, "LIVE YOUR VOCATION WITH JESUS." Now this obviously isn't a replacement for one-on-one time with the Maker, but it calmed me down and I liked the idea of making sure to INVITE God into every moment, every menial task, every naptime! She encouraged me to place myself in the arms of God when I was nursing my baby or cooking a meal for my family. She even said I could do that during my naptimes with the kids. SLEEP in the arms of Christ?! I can do that.
"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"
- Matthew 19:13-14
So as half of Mass went by this morning and I barely caught anything other than a flying toy,
I smiled and told God, "Hey, I'm with THEM."... my children.
There is proof in Scripture that "the little children" were very important to Jesus. So I'm hoping that as the keeper of some "little children" that I am closer to Jesus' heart more than ever before!
As I bring my kids to daily Mass, Church on Sundays, or just pray with them in our home, I like to think that I get a front row pass to Jesus! After all, He wants them to come to Him and I'm their caretaker...
soooooo that makes sense, right?!
Don't let your vocation or present state in life be a hindrance to your relationship with Christ.
No, let it be the very means that lifts you straight to His heart and into a deeper love for Him!
I'm not sure if I'll get a completely silent moment today to enter into a deep conversation with my God...
but I DO KNOW that I'll be whispering to Him throughout the day,
inviting Him to help me and to bless my family...
and reminding Him that "I'm with them!"