Unbound

We all have one.

Some people flaunt theirs around proudly; wanting the world to take note.
Others keep it tucked close to their hearts allowing a select crowd a coveted glimpse.
And then there are those who bury it deep in a forbidden closet and never dare approach the door
for fear of what it has turned into throughout the years. We all have one. It's called a HISTORY.

I'm going to be very vulnerable and let you in on a little secret...
if my history and I had a relationship status it would be:
"It's Complicated."

My life is GOOD. Really good. And I've always felt super blessed.
But that doesn't mean that I haven't had my share of issues.

When I was 12 years old I remember building my first wall.
The bricks I used were called: anger and resentment.

Year after year, as LIFE happened, I would build another wall and another... and another.
The enemy opened SO many doors - doors that unleashed LIONS into my life.
I didn't want my heart to bleed. I didn't want to hold grudges.
I didn't want to be an emotional wreck. I didn't want to not trust.
I didn't want to question my relationship with God.

I didn't want to RUN and HIDE behind all the walls I put up
because of all the DOORS that had been opened.

But I did.

It would be many years of hiding behind my walls, bound by wounds,
before I would seek and find healing.

I called... and He answered.



I was tired of falling to pieces every time someone even got close to one of my walls.
These were issues that manifested themselves in friendships, dating relationships, and even my marriage.

I can't go into all the details about how GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE (I could write a book!)...
but He literally took me and placed me in the most perfect environment with the best of influences
and spiritual mentors that were able to guide me through
memory healing, give me counsel, take me to Al-Anon,
and help me TEAR DOWN WALLS.

When I was 21 years old I thought I had reached complete healing and was finally FREE.
That was until I realized that I still had TRIGGERS.

Something would happen, or someone would say something, and it would trigger a memory or a feeling
...and I would get right to work with rebuilding a wall.

I had come so far. I would say 98% of the way. But I needed 100%.

THIS took me there.

With each page the final bricks fell from my walls. I was finally letting go, TRULY forgiving, shutting doors for good, removing the very foundation of the walls I had built with my tender, wounded heart. And I breathed.

This paper contains the list of wounds
I have been carrying around for years.

There are lists for my lists on this page.

Emotions contained in ink
on a tear stained piece of paper.
And I let go. I gave it up.
I have prayed and
ran after God with my whole heart...
begging for Him to hold on to me
and never allow me to rebuild those walls again.



And I move forward today as a FREE woman in Christ.
FREE to bless my family, FREE to forgive and love the people who have hurt me throughout my life,
FREE to have a chance at not having my issues destroy my marriage,
FREE to give my whole heart to a husband and children who so deserve all of it.

Why am I sharing this with YOU? I'm not sure exactly. This has been on my heart for awhile now.
Maybe you need to tear down some walls or shut some doors of your own for good?
God is waiting to rescue you.

Why did I write?
How could I not share the JOY to be found in being UNBOUND?

If you want to talk -
you can comment, message me on Facebook, or e-mail me: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

XOXO