Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Belly Buttons

TRUTH: 26 years old and I've never stepped outside of a dressing room in a bikini until this week.
It's not that I am uncomfortable in my skin. PROOF: I just bared a lot of stretch marked skin
at the water park... and it is the prettiest shade of Elmer's glue that you are ever gonna see.

I've talked about modesty here before. And I feel like I breached my own standards. Why? Because I am vain and want an even tan. There, I said it. And every single weekend around here it is either cloudy, raining,
or we are miles away from a pool deck. Tanning in my front lawn with my other condominium buddies just
seems... red-neck-ish?! I can't do it. So I have a bikini that I planned to wear to the pool, by myself, in a
secluded corner of the patio like the hot prude I am, for a couple hours this summer to TAN. Good story.

So because I was fed-up with not being able to lay-out, I decided to just put it on and take
the kids to the pool and pray that the sun would kiss my body a nice shade of copper penny
as I awkwardly chase a 3 and 1 year old around the kiddy play area. Who am I kidding?!

Man, I wish you could see the tan I DID get. I just showed my husband the red "splotch" on my stomach.
"HA! FAIL! Glad you got some sun, babe! Just don't show anyone else."
I said, "Yea, thanks, buddy?!" in the most sarcastic tone I could muster.

My own children made fun of me. And I"m so embarrassed from that alone that I'll probably
never wear the bikini again. They both wear those swim tops that keep them from getting sun-burned.
I turned around to find that they both had pulled them up so that their belly buttons were exposed.

They kept saying it and laughing OVER and OVER and OVER again.
Then they would come over and poke my stomach. "Momma's funny! Funny belly button!"
Rip roaring laughter - falling into water - repeat.

They were drawing quite the attention and all I could do was shrug my shoulders???
"They are not my kids. I'm the nanny." *uncomfortable laughter*

Just kidding. I claim them and their fascination for exposed belly buttons.
God has a funny sense of humor don'tcha know?! Using my own children to remind
me of my own standards. You're killing me, JC!

P.S. I have no strong opinions on swimwear in general. So don't go sending me hate
mail concerning the fact that you came out of the womb in a bikini. I don't really care.
It's your body - your soul. What feels right, moral, whatever to you is your deal.
I really believe it is a matter of the heart. We ARE called to love one another...
so what does loving our brothers in Christ look like to you?

I just would advise not wearing one around my sons... because they will treat you
like the Pillsbury dough boy - poking the living daylights out of your belly button
and announcing to the entire pool audience that you have one!

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  1. Hahaha this is too funny. I've embraced my pasty white skin :) I'm right there with ya!

    The last time we tubed the river I wore a bikini and I burned in a perfect ring around my belly button- right where I have a little pudge. My family thought it was hilaaarious. But at least they didn't poke ;)

    1. YEEEES! perfect ring, bikini tanners UNITE!

  2. haha, that's great. children are really sent from God to put us in check! yours are always adorable!

  3. The hot prude I am. BAHAHAHA. Love.

  4. haha...love this!


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