Why We Will Not Be Sterilized

We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:

"Do you know what you are having?"

Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"

"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"

Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"

We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.

I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?

Could be wrong.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.

After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.

If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.

People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.

I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.

It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!

Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).

Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...

why "fix" something that is not broken?

I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.

Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --

in the great mystery of God.

And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!



_________________________________________________________________

P.S.
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.

P.P.S.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)

FACEBOOK. || INSTAGRAM. || TWITTER.

Tell me more about how much you love birth control...

A few years back I was sitting at my desk at work, minding my own business,
probably eating a sandwich or a jar of M&Ms or something, when a co-worker walked in...
let's call him "John".

"How was your weekend, John?"

"Oh it was great. Went to a movie with the kids, mowed my lawn, got a vasectomy."

Me, now choking on my food, "Excuse me?"

All laissez faire. Just like that, he tells me he went and got neutered.
Like he got a hair cut or something.


I don't know if it's because I'm older and a parent now, or if the climate is just shifting,
but COMPLETE STRANGERS have told me about their latest IUD or birth control pills.
And I'm awkwardly standing there like, "Can you just scan my groceries, let me pay, and go?!?!"
For crying out loud, I'm here for food, not a chat about your vagina.

I'll never forget the time I was sitting at a local, little mom's club and a bunch of women
were CHEERING for another woman who had recently got herself some hormonal contraceptives
because, "I can't handle another colicky baby." Good job, Betty? Let's alter your body
with artificial hormones with possible chronic or fatal results, but at least you won't
have another baby to take care of. Logic.

I see it a lot. People patting each other on the back for their birth control choices. Like they
need some sort of support or encouragement to "do the right thing." And there I am, in the midst of the
sea of absurdity, shaking my head, choking on my food, wondering where all sense of propriety has gone.

Fun fact: there are two classes of hormonal contraceptives.

Combined estrogen/progestin preparations
+
Progestin-only preparations

Combined preparations include artificial hormones, estrogen and progestin, to disrupt
normal, healthy functions of a woman's cycle. That sounds smart. "Let's fix something that's
NOT broken." Most common forms on the market:

Orally ingested pills // (i.e., LO/Ovral, Loestrin, Yaz, Seasonique)
Patches changed weekly // (i.e., Ortho Evra)
Vaginal ring worn 3 weeks then left out for 1 week // (i.e., Nuvaring)
Have you seen THIS thriller, Vanity Fair, article on Nuvaring's death toll?
Progestin-only preparations do not contain estrogen and are available to the public as:

Orally ingested pills // (i.e., Micronor, Nor-QD, Nora-BE, Camila, Errin)
Injections given every 3 months // (i.e., Depo-Provera)
Implants worn under the skin for 3 years // (i.e., Implanon)
Intrauterine devices worn up to 3 years // (i.e., Morena)
We all know, more or less, how these work. They accomplish ovulation suppression, they prohibit
sperm migration by thickening or altering cervical mucus, or prevent implantation. One or all three
of these mechanisms can take place in a given cycle to prevent pregnancy.

Artificial hormones, messing with the body's natural rhythm, flow, regular balance of hormones,
is dangerous ground. But no regular doctor will tell you that. Just another stat, number,
repeat patient, money in the pocket.


"Discontinuing hormonal contraceptives due to side effects is common in U.S. women;
64% of women who stop taking the Pill do so because of side effects, and another 13% stop
because of worries of side effects." - Mosher, W.D., Jones, J. "Use of Contraception in the
United States: 1982-2008." National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health State 23 (29). 2010.

Most common complaints: headaches, cramping, breast tenderness, and bloating and/or swelling.
Major risks include blood clots, stroke, heart attack and cancer. Sign me up!

Recent studies show:

"Women who started using hormonal contraceptives before age 18 have a 90% increased risk of any
breast cancer and a 370% increased risk for "triple negative" breast cancer (a particularly aggressive
form responsible for about 10-17% of all cases in the U.S.)" - Dolle, J.M., et.al, "Risk Factors for
Triple Negative Breast Cancer in Women under the Age of 45 years" (Cancer Epid. Biomark Prev. 2009,
18(4):1157-1166).

"Women who use hormonal contraceptives bfore their first birth are at 44% increased risk of
breast cancer." - Kahlenborn, C. et.al. "Oral Contraceptive Use as a Risk Factor for
Premenopausal Breast Cancer: a Meta-analysis" (Mayo Clin. Proc. 2006, 81(10):1290-1302).

"Women who use contraceptives 11 years or longer are at 210% increased risk of breast cancer.
For perspective, this same study found smoking, a well known carcinogen, increasing breast cancer
risk 25% in the same study population." - Corghan, I.T., et.al. "The Role of Smoking in
Breast Cancer Development: An Analysis of a Mayo Clinic Cohort" (Breast J. 2009, 15(5): 489-495).

And if that's not enough:

In 1981, the president of the American College of Obstetrics & Gynecology,
told the U.S. Senate on a proposed bill attempting to restrict Roe vs. Wade:

"I believe that it is realistic to assume that the IUD and the low-dose oral contraceptive
pills could be considered abortifaceints." - Gold, R.B., "The Implications of Defining When a Woman
is Pregnant" (The Guttmacher Report on Public Policy, May 2005).

If ovulation suppression and the inhibition of sperm have failed, the third mechanism,
"prevention of implantation" DOES occur with effective hormonal contraceptives.
That means a LIFE has been conceived - as it has gotten through the first two gates -
and is then TERMINATED. It's prettier than an abortion, but still.

_____________________________________
So when people are offended that I "don't respect" their "choice" - I'm in awe really.

You mean you want to jump off a cliff?

I guess if the answer is "yes" I'm not going to stop you. I'll "respect your choice" -
after you've reassured me that you're firing on all cylinders here.

Pharmaceuticals are for the sick and broken. Your body isn't broken, women.
Don't let hormonal contraceptives make you so. The next time someone is begging for a little
"back pat", do them a favor and remind them that there is a price, and that you love them enough
to share these details because it's not worth their life.

I'm so pro-woman my heart hurts.




Want to learn more about Natural Family Planning?
here & here
+ + +
FACTS + DETAILS taken from The Couple to Couple League
all opinions expressed are my own.