Second Generation Homeschooling

Where did my babies go?! I am seriously in shock every time the UPS man comes by and drops off another book order. Get out of here! We always planned on homeschooling our kids. But if 5 years of parenting has taught me anything, it has taught me that things don't always go according to plan, every kid is different, and always always ALWAYS have a stash of chocolate. Not for the kids. For yourself.

I am thankful that we are able to homeschool this year--
and look forward to whatever adventures are to come!

Isaiah and Judah are twins born 15 months apart. They don't cope well without each other and it would seriously crush them to be separated. Thus, the brothers are doing kindergarten! The little nerds.


I was homeschooled 3rd-12th grade, and my husband was homeschooled for a couple of years as well. I've had so many people look at me and tell me, "Well, since you were homeschooled this will be easy for you." False. I was homeschooled, but I wasn't the educator-- ordering books, putting together lesson plans, making sure all the subjects were checked off the list. I'm just as intimated as the next rookie! Someone get me a sensei.

I shared over on Instagram a moment I had with my aunt. She's a homeschool veteran with eight kids of her own. These words are my mantra this year:

"I was going on about 'all the things' I want to commit to for the school year-- and she just kindly smiled and shook her head. 'I'm going to tell you what I wish someone would have told me when I was at your point,' she said. 'This is the only time in your life where all of your kids are happy to be doing the same thing in the same place. Your attention to them isn't much divided yet.' Sometimes I focus on how hard it is that everyone is very dependent on me right now and forget how easy it is at the same time! Per my aunt's advice, you will probably find us all snuggled in and reading books on the couch this school year... because she's right! All the extras are coming. But for now, we are all really good with just being little. I'm sure I'll look back and think, 'Man, I'm glad she stopped me in my tracks.'"

Isn't that good? I feel like those words affirmed me so well as a homeschooling momma. I am so looking forward to living and learning with my kids this year.

Here's a glance at what our Charlotte Mason inspired Catholic Kindergarten will look like this year:


This book. I want to grab a cup of tea and curl up in the pages. It is so restful and freeing to be using Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home. Elizabeth Foss gets me. It's less about the details and more about the journey.



A Beka K5 Math

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons- I watched my siblings learn to read from this program! It is so easy to teach and is perfect for 3 1/2 - 5 year olds. HIGHLY recommend. A "no cry" approach to learning how to read. And that's what we need around here. Less tears!

Twenty-Six Letters to Heaven: A Catholic Preschool Curriculum


This one is so sweet and perfect for us. Twenty-Six Letters to Heaven: A Catholic Preschool Curriculumoffers a gentle outline for pre-k. Scripture, saints, poetry, excellent book lists, and ideas for math, science, and art based around the letters of the alphabet. Less "book work" and more "real life application".


My kids also love Catholic Children's Treasure Box Set 1-20!!!! These are colorful, easy to follow, and perfect for my little learners. Saints, guardian angels, poems, activities, and more!!! I love how the stories and characters continue throughout the series. These are what we read when snuggling on the couch together. They are special.

_____________________________________________

There's no line between home and school in my brain. Learning happens in pajamas around half eaten bowls of cereal- it happens while folding laundry or jumping on the trampoline- it happens while working in the garden and making dinner. Some days will be more organized and "put together", but most will be busy and alive as we seize the moments to learn from our books, from the situations we find ourselves in, from the world around us, and from each other.

I'll report back every now and then as this school year develops and let you know how things are going! Or not going!? I'm sure we will have lots to share on what we love and not-so-much. Until then, if anyone wants to be this guinea pig's Jedi master step right up!!!

Because these pictures and ideas are nice and all, but real life is like...

Why We Will Not Be Sterilized

We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:

"Do you know what you are having?"

Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"

"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"

Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"

We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.

I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?

Could be wrong.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.

After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.

If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.

People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.

I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.

It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!

Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).

Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...

why "fix" something that is not broken?

I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.

Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --

in the great mystery of God.

And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!



_________________________________________________________________

P.S.
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.

P.P.S.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)

FACEBOOK. || INSTAGRAM. || TWITTER.

I Am Not Broken. A Birth Story.

My Bella Jane. Talk about fashionably late. Even at 12 days past her due date, she came slow and
steady into this world. Apparently my uterus is like the Taj Mahal of uteruses - so why leave?
I guess the "all you can eat" milk buffet just doesn't compare.

41 weeks //

All my people from far and wide were sending me every trick in the book to induce labor. God bless 'em!
Check. Check. Check. Did it all. 3 or 4 times over for good measure. Yea about that whole pineapple I ate
- all I got was a couple cankers, thank you very much. My favorite was a message from a friend
reminding me about how "funky town" from Parenthood would totally work. Anybody?!

Totally did NOT work. But again, we did our best. Wink.

I am so thankful that my doctors were willing to let me take this pregnancy to 42 weeks.
Since I have had a C-SECTION, most OB-GYNs in my experience are not too comfortable with such
ideas. But knowing that I have one successful VBAC under my belt (funny, right?!), I was confident
that I could do it again. I just needed time. And time was given.

I wrote a whole post about my "non birth plan" plan, but at 10 days past my due date I looked my doctor
in the eye for the last time before we would meet in the hospital and told him...

"I told you that I have NO plan, but that's a lie.
I am going to VBAC and you are NOT going to cut me open."

To that he said, "That's right!"

Again, thankful for supportive doctors. I felt like they believed in me and were so open
to all the little alternatives that I requested. If anyone in the Chicago-area is looking for
some solid Catholic OB-GYNs - I cannot recommend this practice enough. I love them.

Two days before my scheduled "light induction" (no promise of a VBAC, but at least a trial of
labor), I decided it was time. CASTOR OIL. Yes, I did. My doc actually said to give it a shot -
so I followed my cousin's midwife's directions (because midwives are so cool) and later that night...

contractions woke me up. They were tolerable, but I could not sleep through them.
2-3 minutes apart for hours and hours. I woke my husband and told him I was jumping in the shower,
but encouraged him to keep sleeping because I had been having "fake outs" for many days and was
sure this was just another round of fun.

I then checked in with my doctor, and he asked me if my bags were packed.

But by the time I got to the hospital those beautifully consistent contractions were fading. I was
instructed to "WALK!" Round and round the labor and delivery floor. 3 hours later it was determined
that I was NOT in actual labor. Another fake-out. Technically I could go home.

Since I was 12 days overdue, dilated to 3, with a scheduled "light induction" less than 12
hours away, we decided to stay at the hospital and let the doctor break my water. Once I felt
that initial gush, I got that "HOLY COW THIS IS IT" feeling! In less than 24 hours we are
going to have a baby in our arms!

You would think that a 10 and a 1/2 pound baby would just fly out after the water had been
broken, but no. Hours later I found myself hooked up to my BFF, pitocin. That's a joke.
The BFF part.

Every hour or so they would bump up the dosage and my contractions would become stronger,
more consistent. Once I was dilated to 7 the doctor came in and turned off the pitocin;
thinking that my body would do the rest on its own. 5 minutes - 7 minutes - 10 minutes -
the contractions started drifting off to nothingness.

This was my panic moment. I asked every nurse that came in, "is my body broken?"

I cried. Partly from the pain, but more so from the fear and frustration of my body not responding.
I began to repeat in my head, "I AM NOT BROKEN. I AM NOT BROKEN. I AM NOT BROKEN."

My doctor came back in and said he was sorry, but that they were going to turn the pitocin back on
at the highest level safe for my condition (c-section scar). He asked if I wanted the epidural
first. I said, "NO" - determined to overcome the situation, thinking "I've got this."

10 minutes later, back on pitocin, I paged the nurses 2 times and eventually sent my
husband out in the hall with instructions NOT to come back without the anesthesiologist.

The pain subsided to the level of bearable and I just laid there on the hospital bed.
Feeling defeated. Crushed. Beaten by the woes of induction. My breathing slowed and I held
my husband's hand as the box fan whirred next to me, blowing away the tension and my furrowed brow.

Finally, I could feel the baby descending with that great rush of pressure. It's time. I knew it
was time. 30 minutes of pushing, deep breathing, chanting in my heart, "I AM NOT BROKEN!" ---
and then LIFE. I pulled myself up to see the doctor turning the baby over, hearing the nurse
ask, "is it a boy or girl?!"

GIRL. It's a girl.




Nathan got to cut the umbilical cord right before they rushed her over to clear out her lungs
(meconium). So surreal. Tears filled my eyes and no words came. No words. It was like being a
first-time parent all over again. A daughter?! The awe of it all - felt so different.

Her daddy got to hold her first. In fact, I'm pretty sure Nathan got to hold all of our children
before I did due to complications with each delivery. I guess the universe didn't get the memo that
the I was pregnant for 40+ weeks and probably should have dibs on holding the baby first! HA.

But it was wonderful. Happiest of memories. Nathan handed her to me, and even though I had planned
to breastfeed RIGHT AWAY -- I just stared at her; completely overcome with newborn baby bliss,
drowning in a sea of hormones and emotions. It's one of those SURPRISE OF YOUR LIFE kind of moments. You know?

We prayed for her. We waited for her. We are celebrating her.
Lady Bella Jane, welcome to our family!!! We love you more than you will ever know!

How to Thrive (not just survive) in the Pew with Children

Not too long ago someone stopped us after Sunday Mass and said, and I quote,

"You should give parents lessons on how to help children behave in Church!"

What does one even say to that?! Uuuum thanks? *Gates of Heaven open and a flood
of light shines down - I have found my calling*

NOT.


If there is a curriculum out there on this topic, I need to read it just as much
as the next parent. We do get a lot of compliments on the way our children act during
Church, but I'm pretty sure half those people are hard of hearing... possibly...

and you know, just don't hear the bulk of the chirpy little chorus coming from our pew.
Because really?! They are good, but I'm not raising angels here.

Whatever though. I'll take what I can get.

Here is what we've found works best. At least for our family.

Brace yourself...

DISCIPLINE. And you guessed it - that begins at home.

If your little ones won't listen to you in the grocery store, they are definitely
not going to listen to you in a Church. Which pretty much means I should never go out in
public again. But life must go on. Patience, waiting quietly, the art of whispering, polite words,
obedience - are things that can not be taught overnight. And different children with varying
temperaments should be factored into that all too. Oh the joy.

Not every child is going to "get with the program" right away and there will be some who
will fight you every day until the day they move out from under your roof. Truth.
So have grace. Grace on yourself. Grace on your children. Grace on your cow.
"Mulan," anyone? Nevermind.

From the beginning, we have taken our children to Church with us. Never letting their
presence or age be something to hold us back from worshipping God the way that we feel
called as man and woman - husband and wife.

We only take our kids "out" of Church or to the cry room for brief periods of time -
to give them time to calm down or stop crying if they hit their head on the pew or smashed
their fingers under the kneeler- it's a painful rite of passage for every Church-going kid.
Not funny though. #catholickidproblems

If the child is in "trouble" for who knows... a.) throwing Cheerios b.) hitting another sibling
c.) refusing to whisper d.) kicking or screaming ... I could go on through "Z", but I'll spare you.

We administer a consequence during that brief exodus from Church - could be anything from
taking away a promised Sunday treat, time out, naptime after Church, etc. - and then
promptly BRING THEM BACK IN.

I think when kids know if they misbehave they get to run around in the narthex or cry room
it only encourages the behavior and sets the parents up for a vicious cycle. I mean if I got
to go play in the water fountain and jump around in my Sunday best... I'd hit my brother too.

Also found helpful:

1.) Sitting towards the front

2.) One snack + water bottle

3.) Books + activity

Sitting towards the front of the Church, where the kids can actually see what's going on,
has proven to be a successful strategy. The back pew or cry room has failed time and again,
in our brief experience as parents, to be a "free pass" for not paying attention.
I think giving children the "privilege" of sitting towards the front empowers them -
giving them a sense of being "trusted" - like a big kid... like momma and papa.

Now I know some people have issues with food or "games" in Church, especially Mass,
but in my humble opinion... THEY ARE KIDS. Tiny hearts. Short attention spans.
I always think that Jesus gives us EXACTLY what we need - no matter how old we are -
and He knows what children need and I have no problem helping my kids stay "tuned in"
by passing them a fruit snack during the homily or flipping through pages of a Children's
Bible or other holy book. It works for us. Just sharing.

Well this is your Jedi-master signing off. May the force be with you.
That's a joke. Although, I am a Star Wars fan.

What are your tips and tricks? Do share all.

Holy Week + Easter

Happy Easter from our hearts to yours!

Catholics and "Organized Fasting"... those hypocrites?!

Do you know what one of my most favorite things in the whole wide world is?!
Scripture taken out of context.

Quickly followed by...
private interpretation and proclamation of such confusion.

I just love that there are roughly 41,000 "Christian" denominations in the world today.
And I should probably stop with the sarcasm before someone thinks I am serious.

When Nathan and I first became friends, he was loaded with all kinds of questions for the "Catholic girl."
Top of the list, right out of the gate, "Do you worship Mary?" Negative, Ghost Rider.

"Why do you confess your sins to a priest?" "Does the Catholic Church really teach against ALL forms of
birth control?" I quickly became the apologist that I never wanted to be. Drove me to take up Theology
as a second major in college. Catholic girl's got a hobby now.

Throughout the years I've been challenged by all sorts of people.

So why do Catholics do "ORGANIZED FASTING" - as it seems like it should be offered to God
"in secret" as a true and unnoticed (by the world) sacrifice. I can see where this is coming from.

Ash Wednesday rolls around and Catholics everywhere parade around the world with black ashes strewn
across their foreheads. If that's not obvious enough, how about the lines at every "fish and chips" joint
from here to kingdom come?! "Woe are we."

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show
others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."
- Matthew 6:16

I don't see any rules against "organized fasting"..... just some encouragement to not be
GLUM about it. The Lord loves Him a cheerful giver. Don't we all?

I suppose you could read Matthew 6:1, which is clearly talking about ALMSGIVING,
and go applying it to verses on fasting...

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them.
If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."

Jesus fasted. 40 days in the dessert, complete with His own personal tormentor. Mark 1:12-13

For most Catholics, "organized fasting" throughout Lent and on other noted days, is an act of
penance, self-denial for the sake of cleansing the heart, mind, and soul for God... following
in the very footsteps of His Son, Jesus Christ. These days most often come before MAJOR Christian
celebrations; Easter, Christmas, no big deal.

The beauty of "organized fasting" - days like Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, Fridays in general
(in holy remembrance of our Lord's passion and death)- is that the BODY OF CHRIST, as Christians
(not just Catholics!) around the world, can come together and unite all the sacrifice as ONE to the Father.


Solidarity, my friends. We all love it.

We get people to pray together. Why is fasting together such a strange idea to some?

"But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you."
- Matthew 6:17-18

SO THAT YOU MAY NOT APPEAR TO BE FASTING...

Let's put our hearts in the right place this Lent. Let's put aside the "sack cloth" and "ashes" -
the attitude of the hypocrites - and JOYFULLY enter into sacrifice, whatever that looks like for you,
for the sake of emptying our hearts and souls so that they can be filled again with the graces
of the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE: Good Friday and that Man on a cross who saved us all.

Polygamy: but aren't we created monogamous?

I need to say, I am in love with the Kody Brown family - four wives and all.
If I saw them in public, I would run up and beg to be their friend. For real. #crazyfan
I commend them for having the courage to step out and talk about what they believe and practice.
It's lighting a fire under my own butt for sure. I think we all can be encouraged by this bonfire.


// image
Let me clue you in: Kody Brown and his four wives + 17 children are the TLC stars of the reality
series: SISTER WIVES. The show came up as a recommendation for me on Netflix. It's scary how
well Netflix knows us, huh!? I devoured season 1, 2, 3 & 4 - and now I'm seriously contemplating
buying the next few seasons off Amazon because Netflix may be good, but they are slow.

I told my husband one night that it was seriously scaring me how "tolerant" I felt towards
the idea of polygamy. Not for me, OH NO, but for others - if they wanted that "lifestyle".

FUN FACT: polygamy is mainly practiced by the FUNDAMENTALIST CHURCH OF JESUS
CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS. These are NOT the mainstream Mormons that come
knocking on your door. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gave up
the practice more than 120 years ago.

I'll be almost asleep at night and then blurt out something like,
"I couldn't handle sister wives - I think we are innately monogamous!"

To which my husband will sleepily respond, "That's good. But if you decide to
'take another HUSBAND' can you make sure he's a doctor or something so he can help pay
some of our bills?!" And I'll bite the bait and start explaining polygamy vs. polyandry...
to my husband's great amusement. It's all arm punches and wedgies from there.

From a very female, human perspective - the idea of being one of many wives is repulsive.
It all sounds so suppressive. Put away your natural feelings of jealousy and desire for your husband
and "get better" - "get holier" by practicing sharing, letting go, and loving your husband AND
your sister wives. The whole idea of "celestial marriage" really seems to be a great plan to
earn favor with God and some beachfront property in heaven. Twiiiiiisted.

But I'm sure some of you see me the same way as a Catholic - fasting, confessing to a "priest",
holy days of obligation, laps around the rosary... I'll give room for perspective.

Just saying, you all can visit me in my heavenly villa by the sea. That's a joke.


// image
In general, they say that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and from there...

"The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, polled 350 divorce attorneys in 2003 where
two thirds of them reported that the Internet played a significant role in the divorces,
with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases.
It is believed that 68 percent of divorce cases involved one party meeting a new paramour
over the Internet, 56 percent involved 'one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites,' 47 percent involved 'spending excessive time on the computer,' and 33 percent
involved spending excessive time in chat rooms (a commonly sexualized forum). (1)
I guess my point: people get DIVORCED over feeling betrayed...
over the idea of sharing their spouse with someone else - emotionally or physically.

Created monogamous are we?

"But for Adam, no suitable helper (NOT plural) was found. So the Lord God caused the man to
fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up
the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man,
and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

'This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.'

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife (NOT wives),
and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
- Genesis 2:20-25
I've heard the Browns argue their "lifestyle" from Scripture saying that because some of the
great patriarchs and prophets, Abraham, Moses, and King David - to name a few, took multiple
wives and were OBVIOUSLY used to establish the lineage of Jesus and usher in the Kingdom of God
then POLYGAMY MUST BE OK. I mean King David, a man after God's own heart, was doing it...
with her and her and her...

It just seems that the whole thing contradicts Genesis - the whole creation story.
One man for one woman - an ORIGINAL GOODNESS, an ORIGINAL PLAN. After the fall,
many things became tainted and men turned from God committing all kinds of sins.

"Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.
But it was not this way from the beginning.'" - Matthew 19:8
Just because things were done in the Bible does not mean they were
intended, holy, or part of God's plan for His people.

"However polygamy is not in accord with the moral law. Conjugal communion is radically
contradicted by polygamy; this, in fact, directly negates the plan of God which was
revealed in the beginning, because it is contrary to equal person dignity of men
and women who in matrimony give themselves with a love that total and therefore
unique and exclusive." - Catechism of the Catholic Church 2387
So what would Jesus do with polygamists? You tell me.

Obviously this post is a tad on the "Jesus-y" side, but the Brown family claims to be
Christian - so I'm meeting them where they at. I don't wish to impose my religious beliefs on
individuals as I believe that is contradictory to the Gospel any way, but I do wish to talk about it.

Do you think in the name of "RELIGIOUS FREEDOM" bigamy should be made
legal in the U.S.? Why or why not? Brave souls, talk to me.






(1) Jill Manning, Senate Testimony, November 10, 2005, referencing: J. Dedmon,
“Is the Internet bad for your marriage? Online affairs, pornographic sites playing
greater role in divorces,” 2002, press release from American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers