Childrenisms

So I thought I had an ear infection this week. That landed me in a walk-in clinic because my
general physician is out of the office until... Juuuuly?! He left his office unattended.
Still don't know what I think about that.

The friendly nurse practitioner asks the typical blah blah blah..."Any chance you might be pregnant?"
"Well, we aren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy... so it's possible?"
She quickly, but dramatically glances from Isaiah to Judah and says,
"Like you aren't already busy enough!?"
"Ya know, that's exactly it," I said without batting an eye.
*awkward laughter ensued*

She brought it upon herself. I love it when people say that the Catholic Church should stay
out of bedrooms and let the world do its sexual transactions however it pleases...
and then those SAME people turn around and start asking you all kinds of personal questions about
your family size, contraception decisions, yadda yadda... looking at you like you have antennas growing
out of your head because you say, "Well, we are open to however many children God gives us."
GAAAAASP. God?! In control? Yea. Stop looking at my antennas or I'm gonna go all Matrix style on ya.
Clearly the Catholic Church is not the problem.



In other news...

As Isaiah was barreling down the hallway on his really-too-big-for-the-house
tricycle he nearly ran over my husband...
"Excuse me, buddy."
"Yea, excuse YOU, daddy!"

I had an argument with Isaiah that went something like...
"Momma, it's an apple!"
"No, it's a mango, baby."
"No, Judah told me it's an apple."
I see where I rank. The 1 year old is the authority around here.



As Judah chased his dinner right off his plate and around the table, still learning to man
the child-size fork, I hear...
"Dwamn it."
I have no idea who taught him that.
But I hear ya, buddy. That's frustrating. I'd curse too if I had to use that little fork.

My children are fascinated with the idea of cutting down trees.
They have a crib board that they "hack down" almost every day...
"Mom, I'm going to cut down a tree."
"You'll make the Lorax come if you do that, Zay."
"Good."
"Aren't you scared of the Lorax?"
"It'll be good time, momma!"
WHAT?!

We pray before meals in these parts...
"Guys, say a prayer before you eat your lunch."
Isaiah leads: "Dear Jesus. I'm gonna eat now. Amen."
That works?

Our fish apparently requested play-doh the other day...
"Why is there play-doh in the fish bowl, dudes?!"
"He wanted to play."
"Fish don't like play-doh. It could kill him."
"He's just playing with the play-doh, mom. No dying."
Apparently I know nothing. The fish lived. Swam with the play-doh like he was in a coral reef.



Last night as I was leaving for some paid time off, my husband was headed out the door with our littles
to play. I told him...
"Babe, there is C-H-A-L-K in the bathroom closet. The kids would love that."
"We have more important things to do."
"Like what?!"
"Liiiiiike practice for the Confederations Cup (soccer)." *dead serious face*
I don't even know what to say to that. They are taking me to a whole new level
with this soccer mom business.

This is our crazy, little life and it is capital G-lorious!
Happy weekend! Soak it up!