Holiday Hiatus

This post could also be titled: "I had a baby and probably should take a break".
I just love blogging so much that I haven't been able to pry The Lily Field from my fingers.
But alas, Christmas seems like the perfect place to PAUSE.

I was at a conference with Shauna Niequist awhile back and someone asked her:
"What should we do to find inspiration for writing?"

She told us to step away from the "world" and go live our lives -- that the stories,
the memories, the moments created are what good writing is made of.
If you haven't lived, it's hard to share.

So here is to a few weeks of just BEING -- tuned in to Jesus, my husband (who is also
on vacation! PRAISE. the. LORD!), children, and all the family and friends we will be celebrating
with! Hopefully I'll be back with some good stories and happy memories to share!!!

Wishing you all a holy and blessed Christmas!!!
BRB

In the meantime, enjoy our "we need a Christmas card" attempt...

Childrenisms

A few months ago we started "paying" our kids for little odd jobs they volunteered to do
around house. I'm talking 10 cents for picking up the living room - they are like Merry Maids
or something, but WAY cuter and so affordable! Ha. 25 cents for helping Nathan change the piping
under the bathroom sink. You get the picture. Just a way to start teaching them the
concept of working, getting paid, tithing, saving, splurging, etc.

Our oldest is ALL OVER THIS. All day long I have to make up jobs to keep the kid satisfied.
They don't pay me enough. If it's possible, I'd say our 4 year old is a work-aholic and needs to take some PTO for the sake of momma's brain. And then he counts his money at night (he really is naturally
so diligent and I'm proud of him!) and proceeds to spend the next day begging me to let him buy the
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure, Leonardo, that he just has to have or he's going to diiiiiiie.

Priorities.

If I had a dollar for every TMNT comment, I would have made at least 50 bucks yesterday.
No joke. His excitement is too adorable to squelch. We actually gifted him that coveted hero in a
half shell today in honor of his 1/2 birthday. He kept scream-chirping with the kind of excitement
that makes you want to be little again.

And then today I told the kids that we need to purge the toys because-- Christmas.
Because-- Grandmas and grandpas can't control themselves.

Me: "Let's pack up some of our older toys that we don't play with anymore and give them
to some kids who don't have any toys this Christmas."

Judah: "Mom mom mom... listen. If we give away our toys to the poor kids then WE won't
have any toys either!"

Wouldn't you love to get inside of their heads? See how they process things?
Because apparently "let's donate a FEW toys" equals "I'll have NOTHING" to my 3 year old.

He spent the better part of this morning wailing at the idea of us donating a Fischer Price
helicopter that he hasn't even SEEN or PLAYED WITH since he was 2. And the brief moment that
he thought I was giving away his blanket?! Mom is the Grinch, and my life is over.

But deep breaths, everybody. The blanket is secure with him in his bed for naptime.
For the record: I would NEVER, unless for a VERY good reason, get rid of that childhood token.
Avoiding that "worst mother of the year" title again this month. Booya.

Formation is hard. I'm pretty sure my stay-at-home-mom-job is way harder than my husband's
"I'm going to lunch sans children with a bunch of work buddies" gig he's got going! *wink*


Judah: "I peed! I peed! I peeeeeed my paaaaaaants!"
Me: "Bud, that's just apple juice."
Judah: **bends over and sniffs his own crotch** -- "that is DEFINITELY pee, mom."



Isaiah: "Can I see my first home?" (my tummy - the womb)
Me: "Um sure."
**Isaiah and Judah begin laughing hysterically.**
Me: "Hey, you have a tummy too!"
Isaiah: "Yea, mine is FLAT."
Me: **oh no he didn't**

Me: "We need to go to Costco."
Isaiah: "Mom, I don't have time for this."


Judah: "Will you fill up my water bottle?
Nathan: "I'll think about it."
Judah: "You'll THINK about it?"
Nathan: "I'll fill it up. Jaaaaay kaaaaay (JK)."
Judah: "JK? L-M-N-O-P?"

Me: "Bella is SO yummy."
Judah: "Like a burger."
Me: "Is momma yummy?"
Judah: "Like a HAM-burger."
Me: "How about Isaiah?"
Judah: "Like a NERD."


Geography is going so well...
Me: "Where do we live?"
Judah: "America. CAPTAIN America. It's the same thing.
Me: "Ooookay. Can you say 'CHICAGO'?"
Isaiah: "Yea yea yea we live in Chicago. Chicago BEARS! It's the same thing."

Me: "What would you like to be when you grow up?"
Isaiah: "A papa." MELT YOUR HEART.
Judah: "A chair."
Me: "No, like a JOB, Judah?"
Judah: "Yea. A CHAIR."
#dreambig

And then there's Bella. She doesn't say much. Yet.

Why We Will Not Be Sterilized

We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:

"Do you know what you are having?"

Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"

"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"

Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"

We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.

I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?

Could be wrong.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.

After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.

If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.

People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.

I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.

It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!

Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).

Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...

why "fix" something that is not broken?

I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.

Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --

in the great mystery of God.

And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!



_________________________________________________________________

P.S.
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.

P.P.S.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)

FACEBOOK. || INSTAGRAM. || TWITTER.

The Gift of Siblings

Routinely, every morning, my toddler sons romp into our bedroom with their
sleepy faces, bed heads, and whatever toy weapons they've chosen to bear that day.
They peak over the mattress with such excited hope, "is she awake, momma?"

And I am so glad we don't have to rush into the day. I'm thankful we have time to
stroke the baby's hair, cuddle under layers of cream and white covers, and chat about whether
we should have maple-cinnamon toast or oatmeal with apples for breakfast. Luxury.


They all smell of childhood, and I just breathe them in. Stay longer. Stay closer.
Let me hold you until my heart is content. Which will be: never.

Brothers and a sister. My Judah trembles and tells me, "I just love her so much!"
He loves so fiercely - he can't even stand it. They ask if they can "eat her cheeks" because
they are just so good. This goes on for hours - all day - the gift of siblings being unwrapped
and unwrapped and unwrapped in all its intended goodness.

I love that we can all be together.
Thankful that God has so allowed this season of our lives to be graced with me being home with
our kids, homeschooling. We take the days slowly, quietly, mostly unseen by the world - drinking
our decaf with cream in the mornings, playing, learning, snuggling, resting the days away.

Don't get me wrong. For the most part it's all peaches 'n cream, but I guess a more honest
representation would read: "playing, ARUGING, learning, WHINING, snuggling, CRYING,
resting the day away, PRAYING FOR DADDY TO COME HOME ASAP."

But that just didn't seem to flow as well. Ha!

When Nathan and I first started dating, I asked him if he would always be ok if I wanted to
use my hard-earned, very expensive, private college degree to stay home and use it in the best
way my heart saw possible... to raise and teach and be present to our children in the same
way my own mom was to me.

It's a good thing he gave an emphatic "yes" - or where would we be today?!


I am the honored witness of friendships being forged; the foundation of what will hopefully
be lifelong, irreplaceable relationships. Yes, God chose me to be their mother, but He also chose
these siblings for each other. It makes me laugh to envision the grand scheme of it all - these crazy
kids - iron sharpening iron! They will know, test, refine, and form each other like no one else can.

Often I think of how deeply my boys love each other. About how they tell people they are twins
and cry at the very idea of being separated for even the shortest amount of time. If I am leaving the
house they anxiously ask if I am taking the baby with me - because "Mom, we like her. Please leave her
here with us." It's a beautiful thing.


Bella's days are filled with big brother kisses, cheek squishes, and all the "oooo-ing and ahhhhh-ing"
a baby could want. The boys make her smile more quickly and easily than anyone else. They dote,
and she lights up. All the while, momma is just melting into a puddle on the other side of the room.

Don't mind me.

The belly laughs, the bear hugs, the crocodile tears when limits are pushed - the sparkling smiles,
the pretty pleases, the blueberry eyes, the chocolate eyes, full of questions, answers, and child-like
wonder - the tiny hands, smelly feet, batting eyelashes begging again and again... for a snack. Sigh.
This is the story of my life - the story of children - the story of brothers and sisters.

Cliché of all clichés, it is such a gift - this gift of siblings. And I just want to laugh,
and happy scream, and ugly-momma-cry it out for all the world to know.



Now I want to go hug my own sisters and brother.
Thanks, mom and dad, for the gift.

Pumpkin Spice Muffins

I love this time of year.
The air is rich with the aromas that remind us of warmth.
Cinnamon, balsam, peppermint, brown sugar -- all dancing in the air, calling us
back to the moments that have left smile lines all over our hearts.

Making candy cane cookies in grandma's kitchen.
Unwrapping a meowing box of kittens on Christmas morning.
Decorating your first tree as newlyweds.
Watching your footy pajama-ed children beam with joy
as the lights twinkle, the hot cocoa is poured,
and the nativity story retold.

The world tells me to "hustle and bustle,", but I can hear my soul
counter-offering, "Be still." I look at my children now and can't bear
the reality of the time passing; each moment slipping away with the diaper changes,
the bath time, the books that are read.

I don't want to miss it.

When they remember "home", I want them to see calm, peace, joy,
and the beauty that came from just BEING together;
breathing in and out the wonderful rhythm of

"us".

It brings me much happiness to recreate such warm recipes that will
someday hopefully conjure up special memories deep in the hearts of my children.
When they take a bite and their taste buds spin a tale of cinnamon and brown sugar -
I hope they feel loved.




|| GLUTEN-FREE PUMPKIN SPICE MUFFINS ||

In stand mixer, mix together:

1 C. of pumpkin puree
1/4 C. melted butter or oil
1/2 C. whole milk
1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

In separate bowl, sift together:

1 1/2 C. gluten-free all purpose flour blend (I use Bob's Red Mill)
3/4 C. brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. kosher sea salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/4 tsp. ginger

Slowly mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients.

Pour batter into a lined muffin tin. Yields 12.

Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes.