Blanqi Girl || answering FAQ

confession:
I would be lying if I told you that I feel so totally normal and content in my skin from pregnancy to postpartum. I think I'm like most gals out there. At least I hope I'm not alone! We know the incredible privilege and honor of carrying and bearing life, but also feel a little scared at times; unsure of ourselves, stretched, tired, given up for the tiny beautiful people who crown us:

MOMMA.

I do love my body! And it has taken 3 pregnancies to arrive at that level of enthusiasm. All the weird aches and pains, stretch marks, and changes! Ricky Ricardo would say "ay-yi-yi." I kid you not, after Bella was born, I had 3 moles FALL OFF. Strange. But she is my third. Just another walk in the park. Nothing to see here. But I am more in love with the "new me" than I ever was with the "old me" because all the lines (and there are many under my one piece swimming suit) tell the greatest story of my life.
It's a trilogy called: Isaiah, Judah, and Bella.

In the ever-changing climate of motherhood, there has been one constant for me; a company that has delivered the one thing that I honestly feel like I can't do pregnancy or postpartum without: BLANQI.

If I was a tattoo kind of girl, I'd have (( BLANQI )) in ink over my heart.

I've raved about this company, the owners and designers, Valerie and Sabina, before.
And if you know me in real life, you know that I lose no opportunity to share the little
secret behind my maternity and postpartum clothing that is "holding it all together"!!!


// currently wearing this support tank

::: FAQ :::
______________________________________________________

can you wear it postpartum?
YES! I use the maternity underbust support tank postpartum the same way, and with as much frequency,
as I do when I am pregnant. I, unlike some lucky ducks I know, don't bounce back to pre-baby body very
quickly. The tank helps smooth everything out and hold up those pants that don't exactly fit just yet.
The fabric is tight enough that you can literally wear your pants unbuttoned and not worry about
anything showing. Makes me feel more like "me".

can you breastfeed in the tank?
Due to the underbust design, it truly is IDEAL for breastfeeding. The fabric keeps your tummy
and all covered; leaving momma and baby easy access to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
And the six other meals they need. Ha.

what is your favorite color?
I use the winter white, teal (limited edition) and deepest black. My favorite color is the
black because it works best with the colors in my wardrobe. I would buy the color that you most frequently prefer to wear in a camisole or layering tank top.

does it get stretched out?
I have gained 50-60 pounds with each pregnancy and I can testify that my BLANQI bodystylers
are as good today as they were the day I bought them. If you properly wash and care for your tanks,
you should never have a complaint. And NO - you do not have to dry it to make it shrink back to
preferred tightness/support. It's magical. Like a unicorn.

how does it compare to a belly band?
BLANQI offers ALL OVER support. This is not just about holding up your pants or taking some
pressure off your hips. The unique design literally helps spread out the weight, tension leaving
you in better posture and comfort. During my third trimester, I SLEEP in my BLANQI because it
helps THAT much. Also, unlike a belly band, the bodystyler helps smooth out EVERYTHING --
from your bust to your thighs. Can I get an "amen"?!

can you see it under your clothing?
You cannot see any funny lines. Not bulky. Not awkward looking.

is it worth the money?
Absolutely. You get what you pay for. Quality. Satisfaction. This is like the Cadillac of
bodystylers. Period. My sister and I have shared four different tanks (of various colors and
lengths) back and forth through SIX pregnancies (both gaining 50-60 pounds each time) over the
past 5 years and they are still functioning 100%. There you go.

what size do YOU wear?
I know the charting and all can be confusing. I am 5'7" - ranging from 130-190 pounds (pregnant
to postpartum.) I wear a MEDIUM. Hope that helps!


// SECRET CHECK-OUT CODE
Want to try BLANQI?
Use my personal discount code: B117 at checkout to get 20% OFF your first purchase!!!
Feel free to ask me any questions if you need help! #blanqigirl #forever
XO- B

Baby Bella || One Month

Judah: "Mom, where are her words?"
Me: "Oh buddy, she can't talk yet, but she will soon."
Isaiah: "Yea, she just goes 'eeeeeeeeep!'"
Judah: "Like a wittle whale."

The boys have also lovingly dubbed her:

Princess Pea Pod
Sugar Plum
Chicken Noodle

and my favorite - Magic Bean

Welcome to life with brothers, Bella.
This first month has FLOWN by. I'm glad it doesn't PHYSICALLY feel like I just had her yesterday,
but it feeeeeels like I just had her yesterday. Time, be still. The first week was the hardest.
It wasn't really the baby, or the toddlers - it was mainly just ME. A hormonal reign of terror
coming down on all like a fearsome mother hawk. Remember this?

Yea, that's embarrassing. But I am happy to report that things have simmered down. A notch.
I only sent my husband THREE freak-out texts today. I'm over it. Smiles and chai tea all afternoon.

I am still in disbelief that we have a GIRL. I went out to buy her some 3-6 month clothes and
felt like such a rookie parent standing in the aisles trying to match all the girly accessories
to all the girly things. Holy moly. My head hurt. And so did my checkbook. But she's going to
be the cutest dressed baby on the block!!!

She sleeps like a teenager. Parties hard all day and sleeps SO WELL at night. Every night,
like clockwork (knock on wood), she's out for 10 hours - waking up ONCE to nurse and go right back
to bed. Occasionally she fights going back to sleep and we have some quality "girl time" at 4AM.
Not complaining. I'll take it.

Everyone keeps asking how the big brothers are doing - "have they accepted her?" I try not laugh,
like she's trying to get into a secret society or something. Rest assured, good public, she is loved
so well. Almost too well-- gotta watch those big brother smooches and squeezes.
They know not their own strength!

So excited to do "life" with this little girl!!!
She's got us all wrapped around her tiny fingers.
Melting like butter, we are.

On Loving My Postpartum Self

No one reeeeally talks about it. The 4th trimester - the ups and downs, laughter and tears,
joy and insanity of it all. One day you are swimming in a sea of warm, squishy, newborn baby bliss
and the next you aren't letting anyone IN or OUT of your house because they are either going to
contract ebola and give it to your infant or lead a serial killer right into your living room.

People have been so kind and ask me how I'm doing and all, but I lean more towards "fine"
rather than dive right on into the fun facts of anxiety, stitches, breast engorgement, and the
whole achy, throbby - "I am falling out of myself" feeling. You following me?! TMI. I know.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

It was just this past Sunday. I had just put on one of my favorite dresses to go to church.
I was totally having a party in my head; celebrating the fact that...

A.) it fits
B.) I don't look so "lumpy" in it after all

An hour later I walked into the bathroom in a completely different outfit and my husband asked,
"Why did you change?" Well, let's see. When I put it on I had just breastfed the baby and
was looking decent in that department. Given time, milk reproduces, and I was totally channeling
Dolly Parton. Not for Church. Not for Jesus. I laughed it off. No big deal - I'd rather breastfeed
my baby than wear my favorite dress. Perspective, right? That's REALLY how I'm doing.

A couple weeks ago our 3 year old totally climbed into our bed in the middle of the night. Nathan
and I were both so exhausted that we just let him stay - unaware really. Long story long --
he peed on my husband, all over our sheets, comforter, feather tick. I woke up to *freaking out*,
lights turned on, and drama in our en suite bathroom. ARE YOU KIIIIIIDDING ME?!

I motioned to Nathan to GET OUT and turn the lights off before, God help me, the
baby that was just wide awake from 2-4AM wakes up AGAIN. I stripped the bed and marched
straight to the living room to tell my husband that this was ALL his fault and that
he could just sleep with said 3 year old - IN THE OTHER ROOM. For real.

Y'all, postpartum Brittany is cray cray. The next morning my husband let me sleep in
til 9AM and the first words out of my mouth were, "I AM SO SORRY. That baby. I was tired."

And then there is my body. I don't keep a scale in my house on purpose. Numbers don't matter.
It's all about FEELING good and being COMFORTABLE in your skin. That being said, I had to
promise myself that I would NOT step on the scale at my CHILD's 2 week check-up.

Yea, I broke that promise and had to pep talk to myself the whole way home. "20 more pounds
to pre-baby weight?! You've got this." And just to make sure that I was thoroughly beaten up,
I went home and tried on all my non-maternity pants. Why why why?!

*bangs head against the wall*

I look down at my stomach and see DARK stretch marks this time - a straight line running down
my abdomen that looks even darker and more foreboding when I bend over. Weird, but I notice these
things... and I am sure MY HUSBAND DOES TOO and probably DOES NOT WANT ME ANYMORE?!?!??!

CUE: explosion of tears when he walks in the door from work. He wants to know what's wrong and
asks, "is this postpartum-ness?" Oh no he didn't. That's the post-baby equivalent of asking,
"are you PMS-ing?" NO. No, it's NOT. Yeeeeeessssss... yes, it is.

For the record, my husband DOES still want me. Phew. So that's good. Seriously though, so
THANKFUL for his covering and affirmation. He sees my post partum body very differently than
I see it - giving grace, love, and understanding - where it TRULY IS DESERVED!


I just had a BABY. A 10 and a half pound baby. I gained 50 pounds to bring such BEAUTY
into our lives. My body was stretched and pushed to the very limits to bring LIFE - a human
being (that still blows my mind!) - a breathing representation of the love my husband and I
share - and it is SO GOOD. So so good.

Despite the postpartum party going on over here, I AM finding it easier to be KIND to myself
this time around, to lower my expectations, and have grace on my brain, body, and those around me.
I'm laughing more and crying less. I am learning to LOVE myself in this season.

The other night I was laying in bed doing some spine stretches and deep breathing when my
husband walked in to give me a foot massage (SPOILED. I know.). I looked at him, feeling completely
humbled, and said, "You've seen my body do CRAZY things - with having babies and all."
(I mean, the guy has seen my intestines. I haven't even seen my intestines!) He laughed and agreed,

"It's pretty amazing actually."

"YEA IT IS! Too bad YOUR body doesn't do anything cool like that!"

*fist pumping mothers everywhere*

Motherhood is wildly beautiful, my friends. It bends and breaks us - strangely building us
up into stronger women. Pregnancy. Postpartum. I'd do it again and again to know this JOY
of loving and raising tiny humans -- the ones so intricately stitched together by the God
Who knew us all before there was time.


I'm going to go put a sweet potato in the oven now. For lunch. 20 pounds, remember?!
But you can bet I'll probably eat a Reese's peanut butter cup while I do it -- because GRACE, right?!
My body has been through a lot. It deserves it.

35 Weeks || Boy or Girl?!

I first felt this baby kick on April 27th, 2014 - the day that John Paul II was canonized.
It was a Sunday, we were at Church, and I just knew that it must be a BOY.
"John Paul" is totally our boy name. It's probably a sign.

Last week we were at the park with our kids and this little, stranger boy named Matthew was swinging
next to me on the swing. He told me that I had a GIFT FROM GOD in my tummy, that he thought it was
a GIRL, and that we should name her "Lily." I was like, "Whaaaaa was that?" Creepy, prophet
kid or no?! "Bella Jane" is totally our girl name and it means "beautiful gift from God". The name
"Lily" was definitely in the running - so his comment got my attention and made me think twice.
It's probably a sign.

Then I went in to see my chiropractor and he asked about what names we had picked out. And you
want to know what he said?! He said his middle name was Matthew and that HIS mother named him
after Pope John Paul II! Shut the front door. It's probably a sign.

And then there are all the random strangers who are always so delighted to hear that we do NOT
know the baby's gender. You'd think people would just say "congrats" and continue their way down the
grocery store aisle, but no. They stop, smile, start searching their brain for that one wives' tale that
they SWEAR by so that they can apply it to my situation. "If you are more round it is a GIRL!"

Funny. The last person I ran into said "If you are more round it is a BOY!"

Wives' tales - like a serious game of Telephone gone bad.

Honestly, I don't put any weight into any of it. I just think it is EXCITING! And we, especially me as
the pregnant one, are so excited that we are in the home stretch (both literally and physically!).

5 more weeks, baby. Who are you!?

The other night, as I was tucking my boys in bed - orchestrating, listening, "amen-ing" through
their innocent bedtime prayers - I had a moment. A "this is all so real, and baby number 3 is
really happening!" moment. We so longed for this baby- the chance to welcome another little one
into our hearts and home - and next month we are going to kiss the face of that sweet gift!

I can't even wrap my mind around it really. I know I'm pregnant and all - boy, do I know it! But it is
all still so surreal. I'm here washing baby clothes, buying wipes and lotion, stocking up on nursing pads
and diapers, and it STILL seems dream-like. Like I'm playing house or something.


Isaiah and Judah have been taking turns sleeping in the baby crib every night.
Nathan and I keep "oooo-ing and awwwww-ing" over them like we've never been parents before
or something. It's pathetically beautiful, folks. We are so THOSE parents.

I took the boys out to buy a new book to read to the baby over the next couple of weeks and in the
hospital when they come to visit for the first time. I think I'm getting a little teary-eyed thinking
about it all now. Shhheeesh.

5 more weeks. Cast your vote. Boy or girl?
Try not to think about the "signs" I received (LOL). I know it's tempting.

30 Weeks of Bump + Why I Wear BLANQI

Not too long ago I was at Whole Foods when the cashier asked:

"What, do you have like 3-4 weeks left?"
Me: "I'm sorry. Not this time."
Cashier: "No... do you have 3-4 weeks left? You're pregnant, right?"
Me: "Ooooooh yea. I thought you wanted me to donate money to Unicef."

Three to four weeks left? Unicef? *crickets*

Try 10. 10 weeks. It's ok, lady, I'm just going to go home now and drown myself in a
carton of ice cream, and pretend you said I look just like Heidi Klum while pregnant.

I quit telling people that I am due on October 7th. I couldn't handle the shock on their faces.
I mean in the middle of the summer, October feels forever away. I get it. But 10 weeks?!
Pumpkin spice lattes are closer than you think, my friends! Get. Excited.

You want to know what I get REALLY excited about each time I'm pregnant? BLANQI.


Lately I am feeling so "out of my skin" as this tiny person who has taken up residence under my (sore)
rib cage continues on the accelerated growth plan. 30 pounds in 30 weeks, people. And you want to
know what they say? "Oh, you are ALL baby!"- Ok, babies do not come out weighing 30lbs.
It's all right though. I know you mean well. Ha!

I own two Blanqi maternity under-bust belly support tanks. I just don't do "pregnant" without one. Makes me feel all smooth and supported. It's like a party for my body!!! I mean very seriously, wearing my Blanqi reminds me that I am still ME - that I can still look and feel great even if things are getting larger than life around here! Can't say enough good things.
Tell all the pregnant, post-partum mommas!



We are so excited to meet this baby! My boys are dead set on naming this one: Bella Button. Boy or girl.
Doesn't matter. And I'm definitely feeling a little unprepared this time around. There's not a newborn
diaper in the house, the crib is still in pieces, and if this baby REALLY is a girl... she has no clothes.
For real. But it's ok, I'm sure we will kick into "baby mode" soon.

I keep looking at Judah, my baby soon to be 3 years old, and feel myself wanting to hold on just a little
while longer. I have diligently been calling him "my baby" - to which he reminds me that he is a "big kid"
and that I have a "baby" in my tummy. It's a good thing, but still. Growing pains for this momma's heart.

I honestly think my children want this baby to just "pop out" as soon as possible so I can lift them
up onto the monkey bars and all that like normal. Isaiah likes to say: "When you get tiny again..."

I told him the other day that I felt like a whale. He thought for a moment and said,
"Mmm... no. You're a dolphin!" THAT makes me feel soooo much better! We laughed pretty hard.

I love it all. This season of life has been so very blessed!!!
Thankful that everything looks good and that we are on track for healthy...

and PSLs!!! 10 more weeks.

My "No Birth Plan" Plan

I don't know if it's just me, but I imagine that it happens to most women...
That moment, somewhere between 20-30 weeks of pregnancy, when it hits you:

"This baby has to come out of me. One way or another."
(insert the most freaked-out emoticon face in existence)

I think I had a minor panic attack. My palms got all sweaty and I could feel myself
slipping into that rhythmic, lamaze-like, breathing pattern - head spinning, clammy hands,
trying not to pass out. I'm pretty sure I even imagined a contraction.

My idea of being a "warrior momma" suddenly becomes absurd, delusional.


Recently a friend lent me a big stack of "natural" child birth books. A lot of Bradley Method
stuff. All beautifully graphic and shockingly terrifying at the same time. One night I rolled over
in bed and jokingly told my husband that I had some "great bedtime reading" for him...

"And when the woman's cervix is fully dilated to 10cm, the baby will slowly begin to descend
the birth canal, otherwise known as the vagina (miraculously formed with accordion-like style skin)."

My husband didn't think it was very funny. My thoughts exactly!
I don't want to know. Just tell me when it's over, mmmmkay!?

So I went in to my last pre-natal visit and told my doctor that I wanted to chat "birth plan."
He sat down in the chair next to the examining table and told me to "shoot."

"I don't want to plan anything... Hope you're cool with that."

He threw his hands up in the air and laughed. For a second I thought he was making fun of me,
but then he told me how relieved he was - and that 9 out of 10 women, in his 20+ years of
practice, that make birth plans end up in tears when page 3 of 5 was completely thrown out
the window due to complications, unforeseen events, the nature of childbirth, etc.

Yes. I've been there. 38 weeks pregnant with my first, I was all geared up, ready, trained to
embrace the "euphoric storm" of labor and delivery when they sat me down and informed me that there
was NO WAY with my deformed uterus and a footling breach baby that I was going to have a vaginal
delivery. I cried. A lot. Mostly because I was mourning the loss of my beautiful plan!

Two days later my son came via C-Section and I forgot all about it. It didn't matter.
He was here. We both were safe, healthy. Life was good.

My second son came via VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and all along the doctors told me that
they would NOT, under any circumstances, induce or prompt my labor. Not only did they break my
water, they also hooked me up to Pitocin. That wasn't even THEIR plan...

I'm glad I didn't make a plan.

Now, I know there are dozens and dozens of women, even many friends of mine, who have achieved
their "dream birth" by way of a "birth plan" and all. I DO BELIEVE IT HAPPENS! I've seen it happen.
I guess I'm just ok with winging it.

Whatever goes down - great. I'm a solid 30 minute drive to the hospital.
And that's without rush hour. In Chicago. I could be delivering this baby on the interstate for all
I know. Ok, hopefully not! That might scar me for life. But I want to be "ok" for whatever happens -
and the only way that that makes sense for ME (with my personality, temperament, etc.)
is to go in with a "no birth plan" plan.

I like routines, but I like surprises more. I'm ok with the "ride."
So, surprise me, baby number 3!!! Let's make this a birth day to remember!!!
In a good way. No interstates, and a quick, clean labor... if possible!?

I'll keep y'all posted. Obviously. I'm a blogger. That's what I do.
I'm 26 weeks today. Good thing I've still got time.


How about you? Birth plan? No birth plan?
Was it everything you dreamed it would be?

____________________________________________

Feel free to comment below or
join the conversation on Facebook || Instagram || Twitter!!!

Halfway to Baby

20 weeks. You're lucky this pregnancy is FLYING by and that I've not even thought about
posting a weekly "bumpdate"! Third babies. I swore up and down that I would not be THAT parent.
The one who is "too busy" to take the time to document all the details along the way...

I think I've written in this baby's journal twice, maybe? Not any less loved though!
In fact, I'd say there's more love than ever as there are more anxious siblings awaiting
the grand "pop out" event of the year.

The other day we were in Wal-Mart and there was a Hispanic baby
in the cart in front of us at the check-out...

Isaiah: "Mom, he's so cute!"
Judah: "Yea!!! Momma, you're baby popped out!"
Me: "Oh. That's not OUR baby, guys."
Isaiah: "Well, can we pet him anyway?"

We are so excited to be "outnumbered" as parents!!! It's gonna be a good time, y'all!

This pregnancy has been a walk in the park *knock on wood*. I had no morning sickness.
Say what?! Yea. My doc thinks it could be due to the paleo diet I stick to 90% of the time.
Prehistoric man knew what was up. Now, if labor and delivery could be a walk in the park!!!

I've felt drastic movement that I just cannot believe Nathan has not been able to feel from
the outside. I can't wait to see the kids' faces when they feel the baby kick for the first time!

I've craved the usual: cake, pizza, doughnuts, pasta... but have been really good with sticking
to dipping my apples in peanut butter, devouring HALF a bag, as opposed to a WHOLE bag, of sriracha
potato chips in one sitting, and eating way too may bacon wrapped dates for my own good.
Cinnamon is wow. I put it on everything reasonable. The most embarrassing thing I've eaten:
cottage cheese with French dressing. I'm trusting we are close enough that I can tell you that.

If this baby is a BOY, which it most likely is, we are going to name him "John Paul Francis" -
like every other Catholic family this year. It's not that we have no creativity mind you.
I mean I am tossing around "Bella Francis" for a girl! Nathan has been vetoing that hardcore,
but what's he going to do when they bring ME the paperwork in the hospital and I just
happen to ask him to run to the cafeteria and bring me back a snack?! I would never do that.


Growing life is beautifully exhausting. I've been in awe every pregnancy with just how awesome it is
that God let's us as women participate in the creation of a tiny, new soul. Mind blown.

Very honestly, it makes me anxious - leaving me feeling more vulnerable than ever before.
It's one thing to be responsible for your OWN body. But when another life is on board
the U.S.S. Momma... man, I find myself praying that the 40 weeks pass quickly, safely,
quietly. I would just feel better if my baby was in my arms. But even then...

How small we are as parents. We do what we can - falling on our knees - becoming our child's
biggest advocate out of the tremendous, inescapable, all-consuming love we feel -
leaving the rest up to God.

The God who loves our child, our children, more than we do as their mother, father - parents.

Just a vessel. 20 more weeks.

The Heartbeat of Motherhood

I couldn't read his face. I just laid there, motionless, scared to breath for fear that
I would compromise the routine and somehow miss what I so desperately needed to hear.
After what felt like an eternity, my doctor asked me to come down to the ultrasound room.


"You can't find the heartbeat, can you?" I asked trying to sound brave.He just shook his head and motioned for me to go down the hall.Hot tears filled my eyes as I put on the gown that had been handed to me.My own heart was pounding out of my chest; begging for it's normal rhythm - demandingto be put at ease. Breathe. Just breathe. "Don't cry. God's will. Remember God's will."
And then there was life. Movement. Cart wheels. 152 beats per minute. A lively baby inactive retreat from all things ultrasonic. I laughed in that moment, relieved of course.But I cried ugly tears the moment I walked in my front door. Scared, shaken momma tears.
Motherhood. It's so much more than the plastic high heals, make-believe husband, and baby "for real"that my five year old self imagined. The little life entrusted to us - precious extensions of ourselves.Truly the heartbeat of our lives. I thought I knew LOVE.I found out I knew nothing before my first son was born.
It makes my chest ache just thinking about it. A love so raw, fierce, driven, decidedly abandonedto the tiny person gifted to you. It's big. And it does NOT divide with each coming child, butmultiples, grows, deepens - leaving its mark etched all over our skin, our hearts.
I've never feared my heart exploding until now.
Motherhood. I've been to Europe 4 times, sat in halls and met with influential, famous, holy people,been on over 10 missions from the U.S. to Mexico, witnessed miracles first hand, attained a B.A. inTheology and English: Writing, married the man of my dreams, worked my "dream job", etc. etc. etc.And yet, hands down, the best adventure and accomplishment of my liferesides in being crowned "momma". Momma to the ones with the sticky hands,smudgy faces, endless requests, and the shining "chocolate" and "blueberry" eyes.
They make my world go round. I'm honored to be their momma.I'm thankful I celebrate "Mother's Day" with these people. My very heartbeat.

Wishing all the mommas - the ones who mother both spiritually and biologically -the ones who foster, adopt, lovingly take under their wing - the ones who are longingto be mothers - the ones who have loved and lost - my own momma - all of you -a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

You are loved.We are loved.

B A B Y

We are so blessed and excited to be announcing that we are expecting our third baby!!!
We can't wait to celebrate a new birthday this October!!!

: : : L I F E : : :

This baby came after much waiting, many tears, confusion, and some of the most raw and honest praying
I have ever done. I definitely passed through a season of doubting in the darkness what God has revealed
to me in the light. And that is: He is faithful. He is good. And His timing is perfect.

I don't share those words lightly or with an ounce of righteousness. I share them because I need to hear
them again and again and again. Every single day. For the rest of my life. He is faithful. He is good.
And His timing is perfect. It's my great lesson: learning to TRUST.

How quick I am to grasp at the things I want - the things I think will make me happy.
It's funny. In the time we spent waiting for this baby, we actually could have conceived
and already had a newborn by this point. But then... I wouldn't know this baby. I wouldn't
know this joy. I wouldn't know the goodness that God prepared for me in this season of my life.

For a brief season I experienced what it is like to suffer from infertility. To wonder and wait
month after month only to be more confused by the charts, the doctors, the ideas that every
well-intentioned person has to share in regards to "getting pregnant." My heart still breaks for those of
you who have shared your story of infertility with me. Know that I still pray for you. Still hope for you.
Thank you for your virtual hugs, many prayers, kind words, and faith. God is good!

COMING
: : : OCTOBER 7th, 2014 : : :
Which puts me right at 16 weeks.
I think it's another boy, but I guess we're just going to have to wait and see!!!








______________________________________

If you want to catch up on my story of waiting and learning to trust God with fertility:

Preparing for Baby #3

NFP: A Two Way Street

_____________________________________

No Baby Carrots for Mama Bear

"Writer, editor, speaker, obstetric nurse, and advocate for women facing
unexpected pregnancy..." I'm singing her accolades, and asking you all to rise
to your feet in support and admiration for a woman who faced two tiny blue lines in a college
apartment one night with her boyfriend and made a decision, against so many odds, to run the gauntlet
of an unplanned pregnancy to bring forth the greatest gift on earth: LIFE.


Chaunie Marie Brusie, author of Tiny Blue Lines, is one fierce vision of a mama.
I devoured her book in less than 48 hours. It was like a box of doughnuts. I'd read one page,
and before I knew it, I had read 100. Ok, I've never eaten 100 doughnuts. In one sitting at least.
One page had me laughing out loud and the next had me bawling my eyes out.

21 years old, a senior in college, with big dreams for the future, she and her boyfriend of four years
at the time, now husband, had plans to study abroad and one day be married. With multiple positive
pregnancy tests (because she thought there must be an error!) - "The question of 'what if I'm pregnant?'
quickly became 'what the heck am I going to do now?'"

The world would say that she had every reason in the world to terminate the pregnancy.
In fact, as sad as it is, I think most people would have patted her on the back and drove
her to a clinic themselves, handing her tissues, and applauding her "noble" decision -
to take back her life and not bring a baby into such "unstable conditions."
It is absolutely ridiculous.

"To me, abortion, in a way, is telling that young girl that she is too broken to repair.
To me, abortion is telling that mother that her baby, flawed already, isn't worth the fight.
To me, abortion is telling that woman that her husband is right - that she and her baby
are nuisances."

That kind of courage should leave you speechless. That kind of courage brought forth a
beautiful baby girl named Ada - who will forever know that her mother was brave enough to say
"yes" to life.


She fearlessly talks about the shame - the squinty eyes and questioning stares from familiar
faces and strangers alike. The guilt that haunted her along the way was a demon she sent howling
back to hell. She shares the "rainbows and butterflies" along the way - like her husband's super
romantic proposal on the beach to the moment she felt God speaking to her heart saying, "my baby
is not a punishment", but she also shares the "storms and serpents" - the ugly tears,
doubts, and the path to reclaiming her life.

She did not see her unplanned pregnancy as the end, but the beginning of the best part of her life.

"I want to celebrate young mothers, not because we are young, but because we are just darn
good mothers and people. We aren't afraid to make our own paths, continue our educations, stay
home with our babies, work, or pursue our passions."

I think we all can relate to thwarted plans in one way or another, but to find the grace
to roll with the punches?! Lord, help us all! Chaunie proves that it CAN be done.

At one point in the book, Chaunie shares about how she had planned to one day tell her "husband"
that they were "expecting" over a romantic dinner of BABY carrots, BABY potatoes, BABY steaks.
As women I think we all daydream about these grand milestones we anticipate! This was such a funny,
cute, relatable antidote - I know I was smiling and shaking my head at the same time feeling the
weight of my own "crushed" dreams, but also remembering the fact that those "crushed" dreams of
mine lead to some of the BEST dreams that God had for me... that God had for Chaunie.

There is something to be said about the love a mother has for her child. It's a fierce, wild,
mama bear kind of thing that is so unique, rich, deep. We're talking about unconditional, run through
the fire, lay down your life kind of love. And you can feel that emanating from every page of
Tiny Blue Lines.

"She (Chaunie's own mother) put things into perspective by reminding me that I was certainly not the
first person this has happened to, nor would I be the last. And most important, she did not judge me..."

I think this was my favorite part of the whole book. The unconditional, fierce, wild, mama bear love
that Chaunie's mother gave her... and then in turn, the passing on of that love to the little girl
that Chaunie (and her husband, Ben!) would welcome into the world.

She ran the gauntlet and her reward is sweet. Life is too precious to sacrifice.
Tiny Blue Lines will teach you how to grow, bend, heal, and see the world of unplanned
pregnancy (and motherhood in general!) through a pair of new eyes.


Celebrate motherhood, in all it's shapes and sizes, with us?
Here's how you can connect with Chaunie Brusie:

BLOG || FACEBOOK || TWITTER || INSTAGRAM

Want a copy of her book? Yea you do. Amazon.


**all quotes taken from Tiny Blue Lines by Chaunie Marie Brusie**

Natural Family Planning: A Two Way Street

I quit buying pregnancy tests four months ago.
Another month, another negative, another stick in the garbage and a husband asking, "So?"
No pressure of course. Just loving expectancy. Both of us.

Before we got married, Nathan and I made a commitment to not use birth control or sterilization
in our marriage. Whaaa? Yea, we had visions of a dozen kids, a 15 passenger van, and appearances on
Good Morning America. And who knows - maybe that will still happen! I'm young. Hopeful.

But if it doesn't, I am learning to be ok with that.
Why God has not given us another baby - I do not understand.
At the rate we started out, 2 babies - 15 months apart, I admit I was worried we'd beat the Duggars!

After Judah was born, we chose to use Natural Family Planning for a time; watching, noting the signs of
my cycle and abstaining when fertile. Each month brought a new prayer, things to discuss, to discern
to the best of our ability, with God, what was right for our family. And then last Spring, all the "issues"
the "hold ups" dissolved and we were excited that God seemed to be opening the door for baby #3.

I just knew we would be pregnant right away, and most likely with twins - as we were obviously
a fountain of fertility right out of the gates! No, those who use Natural Family Planning are not
always called "PARENTS" in the ways that some people expect.

The funny thing is, in this brief time of no conception - in the grand scheme of things - compared to so
many others I know who have longed for just one baby- I have LIVED what I PREACH and that is:

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING IS A TWO WAY STREET.

We have to trust God either way; in times of abstaining and in times of conceiving.
And that's terribly hard. Whichever way you are walking. I get that now, more than ever.


I never saw big gaps between my children. I never dreamed of a "small" family.
And yet, His ways are better than my ways. His dreams are bigger than my dreams.
He sees it all and knows... on this street of ours.

That doesn't mean I don't cry every now and then when I realize we are still not pregnant.
It just means that I know God is God and I am not. My brain gets it. Someone, tell my heart.

And in the words of so many loving, well-intentioned people,
"Maybe God is giving you this time of not being pregnant or with a newborn for a reason."

Yes... but that is just SCARY! For a reason?! What reason?
"You're not having a baby because you've got a disease!
...or you're going to lose your house!...or you know?!"

I'm really just being funny here, because I DO have to laugh and rejoice
in the LIFE that IS given!!! And trust that no matter what - it's all working out for His glory.