How I Rank being a Stay-at-Home-Mom

Driving home from working in my garden, my husband asked me
to tell him what are the top 10 things I am most thankful for.
Without hesitation I started rattling off the obvious.

I'm thankful...
For YOU (my husband).
Our kids.
That we are believers.
The garden.
Our health.
Your job.

And then I was caught somewhere between my heart exploding and bursting
into tears as I shared that I am beyond thankful that I can be a stay-at-home-mom.

"That's everything to me," I said.



For ME (emphasis on the "me"), the joy and thankfulness that is in my heart for EVERYTHING
in my life is due in large part to the fact that my husband is willing, eager, and happy to go out
and face the world so that I can be the HEART of the home... freeing me to express my
femininity in mothering, building community, working in ministry, pursuing my passions,
cooking, gardening, creating...

I told you, I want to be Laura Ingalls or Anne of Green Gables. Either one.

I stopped and started laughing at how ridiculous that would sound to a "woman-of-the-world."
She'd be quick to call my paradise a domestic ball and chain. I don't even know what to say
to that. I understand that "paradise" doesn't look the same to every person. So I'll raise my glass
to finding God's will. Because that's ultimately what makes us happy.
Anything outside of that is treading water with blue jeans on. Not fun.

Even now I can hear the ramblings of those I meet at the grocery store, library, doctor's office...

"You stay home with your kids?! You're a saint."
Yes. Not really.

"Well, if that's how you want to use your degree... that's cool."
Why yes, it is. Thank you. I apparently have a brain and I'm trying
really hard not to wield all kinds of CRAZY at you right now.

"I would DIE if I had to stay home with my kids every single day."
Good thing you don't then.

My personal fave: "If I stayed home with my kids, I would be soooooo bored."
Bored? I don't know what profession you'd need to be in to sew up a busted chin,
chase a 3 year old through Target, stop the baby from killing the pet fish, or race
through the grocery store to pick up necessities (chocolate and wine, heeeello!) like
you're on a domestic version of SURVIVOR! Yea, I don't know. Boring.

I do believe I am digressing...



And then there's the garden - tending an extension of my heart, home, and family.
Growing our own food is like walking the streets of heaven and filling ourselves with
whatever God has prepared (like I've walked the streets of heaven before!?).
He has touched the earth and brought forth life... we have touched the fruit
and lovingly prepared it, consumed it, or stored it away for the winter months.



Again, being a stay-at-home mom has given me tons of time to work in the garden and harvest
what is given. I could go on and on and on... aren't you glad this is a blog and you aren't
sitting in front of me?! You might never be able to leave!

But alas this post must come to an end...
Enjoy the weekend, loves!!!

Finding Beauty in Addiction

"I am the daughter of an alcoholic."
For years those words have slipped passed my lips and poured over my heart
creating embittered calluses. Like a branded, beaten pony I've taken that label
and let it manipulate me into a corner of resentment, fear, and confusion.

I've licked my wounds one too many times because I care too much.
I am guilty of giving glory to the darkness of addiction because I have not let
myself heal. Logic had me convinced that if I just stayed broken, angry, and
unforgiving than I would never be "better" and then, in turn, "broken" again.
I'll just emotionally bleed to death and maybe that will be punishment enough
for the both of us. He couldn't possibly choose a drink over that... over me?

I cried out to God this week and asked Him, "Why me? It was so hard. It still is so hard."
I know that my heavenly Father was there in the difficult moments because I would not be
here today if He hadn't been. Grace held my hand, and heaven bent to bind up my brokenness,
but like a fearful child I worried that the healing would be more painful than the actual blow.

Hell would like nothing more than to own my father. To own me.
But I informed the devil this year that he can take back the label he tried
stamping on my being so long ago, "I am the daughter of an alcoholic,"
because I am something infinitely more dear -
I am someone he cannot even wrap his mind around...


No one's sin will define me. Not even my own.
I'm going on 10 years of recovery and I think the biggest lesson I have learned
is that healing is a process. Forgiveness can be given more than once. I need to
forgive over and over and over again because in my humanness I cannot just forget.
Live and let live. Be who God has called me to be. Surrender the problem.
Enjoy my own life and the gifts in the moment to the fullest.

God was there all along. He still is. He chose this path, this family for me
for a reason. And it makes me smile. Seriously smile. I love my father to death
and wait eagerly for the day that he receives his full healing.

Because our God is that big.
We are His children.
Defined by His sacrifice.

And that is how beauty can be found in addiction.

__________________________
Do you have a similar story? Need help? Want to talk?
E-mail me: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com or leave a comment below.

Helpful resources:
Alcoholics Anonymous
Al-Anon / Alateen
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Praying Through the Seasons of Motherhood

I have thrown up my hands so many times when it comes to my prayer life.
Something's gotta give. Lord, I'm trying to talk to You, but there are these
small humans (yea, the ones YOU gave me!)that always seem to get in the way.

"Love ME through them." God keeps putting that on my heart.

Even though my arms, lap, brain... is full of children these days
I have such a peace in imagining that I am hugging Christ when I pick
up one of my children. I am drying His tears. Preparing His food.
Singing to Him. Laughing with Him. Loving Him... through caring
for the children He gave me.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the seasons of prayer
must change right along with my vocation of motherhood. In my singleness,
it was easy to make a plan for loving God. Now that my life is a series
of relay races (change diaper, fill sippy, switch laundry, read "Green Eggs
and Ham" for the 324th time, turn on a movie, NOT that movie, the other movie,
go for a walk, TO THE PARK, change diaper, fill sippy... repeating.), my
prayer life has to be flexible if I'm to talk to God ever again.

When I'm pregnant, I make time to sit down and rock the baby en route
and pray simple prayers throughout the day as God reminds me that HE IS NEAR
in the creation of new life.

When I have a nursing baby, I cherish the late night feedings and seize
the opportunity to pray in the quiet with the fresh, new life in my arms.

Toddlerhood... I have just arrived. My boys are now 3 and almost 2! GAH! And as
I enter this new season of motherhood, I must adapt my prayer life. I have to find
the way to Him through them... the people with the little sippy cups and BIG needs.

I'm not super smart or a professional pray-er by any means, but I asked
God to show me a time to pray... and He gave it to me.


Every day, for however long this season lasts, my boys lay down to take a nap together.
It generally takes 30 minutes for them to fall asleep. Usually I'm rushing out of their bedroom,
working as fast as I can to get all the things done on my to-do list before they wake up...

It's nap time, people! The momma happy hour.
And for crying out loud - it's probably the only time of the day
where I can hear myself think, shower, eat, pee in peace, etc!

But the 30 minutes it takes for them to fall asleep? I knew God was asking for that.
So I gave. And I've been giving for over a week now and it is sweet, rewarding time.

I have every excuse in the book as to why I CANNOT sit down, but reality is that I need to
sit down so God can love on me. Because I crave it! Motherhood is no walk in the park.
Well, you definitely take lots of walks in the park, but you know what I mean.

We love love love our littles and the father of those littles until it hurts...
Let God love on you today, in whatever season you find yourself in?

__________________________

Need a place to start?
One of my favorite sources for Jesus + community...

(click to be redirected)
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The Anniversary of Wedges

You know as a kid... when you have your sibling strap on a pair of rollerblades
and hold on to a jump rope so that you can pull them around the neighborhood on your bike?
Yea, hold that image. That's exactly what our anniversary looked like this year!
It was a wild ride as usual!!!

"Go with the flow" sounds so fresh and hippy, but throw some kids
in the mix and instead of "Relax! Party! Do whatever!" it looks more like...

Snag a babysitter for ANY POINT during the anniversary MONTH
and run out the door as soon as she gets there just in case your children pull
out their bag of circus tricks and start crying an ocean of tears because
you even THOUGHT about leaving them with her.

Sick kid? Well sure, queen size beds can technically hold THREE people.
The more the merrier. On a serious note, it seriously melts my heart to look over
at Nathan, with our wedges (I mean children!) in between us, and see him smiling
back at me. This is love, people.

The three year old is having heart palpitations during your romantic dinner at home
for two... no problem! We've had chaperones before, we can have them again!

Oh you can imagine. Our actual anniversary is August 14th, but that whole
day was spent cleaning, working, and taking care of a sick child! And honestly -
I wouldn't have had it any other way. We STILL celebrated... twice actually!
But since our LOVE has grown beyond us and has taken on the form of an Isaiah
and Judah... we have to bend, grow, roll with the punches! This is my party.
And it's pretty fantastic, awesome!



I made up this box of Trader Joe almond windmill cookies for Nathan!
I can hear my little sister in my head as I type this: "Vomit."
Hey! The tiny sentiments, the smallest details are where the L-O-V-E is at!
Am I right?! Can I get an "amen"?!

Nathan surprised me and got us tickets for Six Flags! We hadn't been since before
we were married! We now understand why the park is full of 16 year olds.
Their bodies can handle it!

We made one of our favorite Cheesecake Factory dishes AT HOME
so that we both could enjoy it and not suffer the consequences of our allergies.
I don't have exact details on this recipe - I just wing it every time...

But you can't go wrong with pecan crusted chicken over homemade pesto and rice pasta -
topped with proscuitto, fresh parmesan shavings, arugula, and garden tomato!




Fun fact: Nathan and I basically eloped. We got married in a small town in West Virginia -
where neither of us (or our families) is from. 110 guests. We served Pillsbury funfetti cake
at our reception that I made with my sister the day before! So it's tradition.
Funfetti cake every year. With sprinkles. Still makes my heart happy.



So yes, it was an anniversary of wedges - cute, little wedges -
but we let go and focused on what really matters... celebrating LIFE together.
And that's what it's all about!

Take Me to The Mason Bar Company

I am 10 years old and laying in the sun after hours and hoursof swimming in my grandma's pool. She calls us to the patio where she has peanut butter and homemade jelly sandwiches, a bag of potato chips, and Mason jars (the ones with the handles!) full of Tang! The bright orange nectar and tinkling ice dance in my jar - oh to drink "summer" again!
I am 14 years old and picking pears out by my garden. Hundreds and hundreds of ripe, yellow fruits destined to be preservedin Mason jars. I love washing out the jars before canning. Millions of little bubbles and their rainbows held in the palm of that rounded glass. Shiny, squeaky clean - lining dozens of shelves in my basement with fruit to last all winter long.
Mason jars are my old friends - familiar, nostalgic, and comforting.
So you can imagine my JOY when stumbling uponMiss Bobbi and her Esty shop: The Mason Bar Company!!!
Beautiful, glass Mason jar tumblers with BPA-free straws and lids.She even offers sleeves to keep your Mason jar cozy!Lots of happiness to chose from! It is now my "cup" of choice!!!
Each sip takes me on a trip down memory lane...and that makes me feel LOVED.
Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu...

Hello, my name is Bobbi and I am the original creator of the Mason Jar Tumbler.My idea was born in August of 2011 while chatting with friends about the fact thatwe were always spilling our drinks in the car while using our Mason jars.
Soon, we had invented the "crafted" tumbler lid and the idea became a hit in my original Etsy shop! The original store was called Poppy & Pearl co. where I soldhandmade rings... which is a funny since I'm not a jewelry maker. Haha!Beautiful things happen when you follow your heart... even when it doesn't quite make sense.
I quickly began working on an "upgraded" tumbler lid as the originals were hand madeand didn't hold up for a long period of time due to rusting. My bpa free plastic lidsare now being locally manufactured and that's something that makes my heart very, very happy.Hard work along with passion and support can truly change your life. I am proof that you cantake a little idea and turn it in to a reality! I didn't go to college. I didn't have a wholelot in my checking account. Just an idea with a bit of faith.


::: CONNECT WITH THE MASON BAR COMPANY ::: shop || facebook || twitter || instagram

Sin and Weed

I feel Him in the dirt beneath my bare feet.
I smell Him in the wind of wide, open spaces as it kisses my face.
I move to bring forth life with tiny seeds - carefully tucking them
away in the ground as I whisper a prayer: "grow."
And in my absence, in the quiet of the night, during the morning
symphony of bird song and dew fall, He works.

His movements are so subtle, so exact - as He takes what I have
planted and brings it to fruition in His time. I am incapable of calling
down the rain or telling the sun where to shine. I am not the conductor of
the elements - only the messenger. The seed planter. A life bearer.
A co-creator working with my soul in His hand.
Hoping for a harvest. Helplessly abandoned to His will for the land, my soul.
It makes me feel small; covered by the creative genius of my God.




I love gathering what He creates when I am away -
walking in the rows and pulling back the leaves to see
what gifts He has prepared.

And in the midst of all that beauty, there are weeds.
At first they are small - seemingly insignificant.
Innocently my plants wrap themselves around and around the weeds
as they grow side by side... until the weed eventually kills the entire plant.
Choking it to death. Stealing all of its resources.
Sucking the very life from the roots. A garden tragedy.

I spent hours and hours separating my pea vines from weeds this season.
Tenderly pulling the plant from the enemy. If the plant should break at
all during the process - the whole thing will die along with the weed.

Those weeds reminded me of SINS IN MY LIFE.
If not methodically and intentionally removed, they will succeed in taking
the life of the plant. Our lives. Without a plan of action - a course of healing -
the weeds will win the battle for our souls.

I lost some plants this summer. The weeds became too big.
So mighty. And my plants LOVED them. They gave themselves over
and there was NOTHING I could do to save them from their choice.

What do we wrap ourselves around? What do we give ourselves
over to for the thrill of the moment? God is in the garden and in the business
of professional weed removal. I've seen His work. I know the love
He has for each plant. But I'm only the messenger. The seed planter.
The one who prays: "grow."

Master of the elements, Keeper of souls,
Maker of beautiful life, steal me away from the weeds
so that I may bear fruit.

Childrenisms

Nathan: You are all snuggle-y buggle-y.
Isaiah: Like a strawberry!
Nathan: *scratches head*
Yea we don't know either.

Brittany: Judah don't walk down those stairs.
Priest: Listen to your mother, Judah.
Brittany: Yea, don't disobey a PRIEST.
Priest: I can absolve him because he is NOT listening.
Every saint has a history.



Brittany: How old are you, Isaiah?
Isaiah: THREE!
Brittany: How old is momma?
Isaiah: Uhhhhh poopy?
Brittany: No, how OLD is momma?
Isaiah: You. Are. POOPY!
I'm embarrassed that I died laughing. I used to be so lady-like.
Life with boys changes things.

Judah's prayer before bedtime:
"Taaank You for outside. Taaaaank You for soccer. Taaaank You for my penis."
Priorities.

Brittany: Isaiah, where does Jesus live?
Isaiah: In a CAVE!
Brittany: You mean the tabernacle?
Isaiah: Yea the tay-bor-knuckle CAVE.
Three year old theology at its finest.

Nathan: What's wrong?
Judah: My beard hurts.
Apparently our 23 month old is going through puberty. It's a joke.



Isaiah: Jubee (Judah) is eating garbage.
Brittany: Whaaaaaaaa???
Judah: YEA! MUFF-IN. (mouth full of muffin)
Brittany: Don't eat the garbage, Judah!
They were on top? Harmless, right?



Britany: What are you doing under the bushes?
Isaiah: Bluuuuueberries. Robin Hood.
As he proceeds to eat berries RIGHT OFF the bush with his mouth.
We are not goats, son.

Brittany: Who is Momma Mary?
Isaiah: Hey I brought her flowers.
Brittany: She's Jesus' momma and yes, you did.
Isaiah: Yea, but where are the flowers?
Brittany: You left them at church, remember?
Isaiah: I WANT THEM BACK!!!!
#indiangiver

And now I will forward you on to Miss Grace over at Camp Patton.
She's the inspiration behind these "Childrenisms" posts!
Get ready to get your smile on - because she is the perfect
blend of beauty, truth, and absolute riot!!!

Or if you'd rather get a snack... Anna from In Honor of Design
posted these ridiculously beautiful looking frozen yogurt pops
that are sure to please the eye and taste buds!
Invite me over if you make them?!

OH MY GOSH - and if you are a blogger and have a husband you probably
should catch Natalie's, The Busy Budgeting Mama, latest VLOG:
"The Husbands Tell All" Even if you aren't a blogger or don't have a husband
this should make you laugh. If not - then we can't be friends. I kid.

Look at that?! I hooked you up with weekend reading material!
That's what I'm here for.

Enjoy the weekend!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Or do it - just tell me about it so I can live vicariously through you!

1,460 Days

I was 16 and he was 23. I was the receptionist and he was selling cars.
We met at a car dealership of all places. I admired him in a big brother sort of way.
He prayed with his customers. He was different.

But I was still very much a child and he was a man in need of direction.
We worked together for just 2 weeks before he moved on.
I made a note of of him in my journal - for our meeting seemed important.
God let Nathan inspire me for 14 days. Then he was gone.

3 years would go by before we would meet again.

Nathan went to work in China and I served as a missionary in Florida.
God brought us both home at the same time and had us ran into each other at Applebees.
It was my first day as a server and I was shocked to find that Nathan was also a server.
I remember I laughed when I saw him come in the door. Kneeling on a booth
I shouted, "Nathan!" (real lady-like and all!) and he recognized me at once.
Once again, unplanned and completely serendipitous, we were working together.

3 years did wonders for me. I grew up and Nathan noticed.
He unashamedly dropped pick-up lines that most of the time led
me to rolling my eyes, blushing like a bandit, and asking myself:
"Did he really just say that?!" Oh Romeo was good. Real good.

Problem was, I was in another relationship at the time. I would get rid
of the shifts I was scheduled to work with Nathan just to make it easier
on him. Poor guy. He was falling all over himself and I didn't want to
break his heart. It is what it was. And after a messy summer of
high school love gone bad - I broke up with that boyfriend and
found myself spending more and more time with Don Juan of Applebees.

He had a motorcycle which was super attractive in my opinion.
Cowboy of the 21st century, take me away! Only a few weeks after
we started dating he stood with me on my parent's back porch
and asked: "What am I going to do with your heart?"

"You're going to marry it!" I said. I know I know... Romeo needs a Juliet, right?!
He felt like HOME from day one. There was something about him - his heart understood
mine and I'm sure God, in cupid-like glory, was happy to see His plan unfold.

Well, that plan ended up unfolding like a weird cross between a romantic drama
and a sci-fi thriller. It was a beautiful, stressful mess. We loved each other
like crazy, but we argued a lot about our spiritual beliefs. We were on different
pages, but both loving God MORE than anything else in the world.

We broke up 3 times for various reasons only to find ourselves back together
again. Like moths to a light bulb we were. God would have His way.

Nathan finally asked me to marry him after midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.
He had hidden a string of clues in places around town that were special to us.
7 clues with 7 gifts - and 7 short stories about how our love came to be.

He gave me a red dress that night. When a man buys a girl a dress...
a gorgeous dress... you marry him! Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
He's always been so attentive to the small details - the ones that make my heart explode.

The last clue brought us to the church down the street from my house.
By this time, it was nearly 5AM. He asked me to wait in the car. The dawn
was coming, but I still remember seeing the stain-glassed windows
of the church light up and him standing on the steps yelling for me to come in.

He brought me to the altar. Played our favorite hymns. Read our favorite scriptures.
Kneeling down, he pulled out a box... and before he even got the question out, I was saying,
"YES! YES! YES!" For the record, he did actually ask me.
After I finally got over my shock and excitement!
I said, "YES! YES! YES!" all over again!

8 months later, badda bing badda boom, we made an eternal vow before
God, a sea of heavenly witnesses, and our loved ones to be
husband and wife
til death do us part.

1,460 days of marriage.
That's 4 years to celebrate.
Happy Anniversary.
Here's to forever!

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

When I hear "gluten-free" I think: "NOT normal!"
"Gritty." "Bean-flavored." "Rice-like." "Dense." ... and then I sing
this little song I wrote called "Ode to Wheat" with a tear in my eye.
Not really. But it's pretty bad.

It is rare, but it happens, that I come across a product or recipe
that actually "does it" for me. This is one of them. So I have to share!

Dear Wheat, I miss you and think of you every day.
But these little muffins are gonna give you a run for your money.
Because they are good. Capital G...OOD!
_____________________________________
GLUTEN FREE BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFINS || yields 12
BATTER:
2 very ripe bananas
1 egg
2 tbls. melted butter (Earth Balance works well for non-dairy)
1/2 C. sugar
3/4 C. all-purpose gluten free flour blend (I use Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
dash of vanilla

TOPPING:
1/2 C. chopped chocolate chips

Mix well and pour batter into a paper lined muffin pan.
Sprinkle the chopped chocolate chips on top before baking
at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes.
_____________________________________
I promise this recipe will fool any wheat lover.
Just don't tell them you used bean flour and I'm sure
you'll have fans on your hands!!!



<<< LAST CHANCE >>> Go enter to WIN some Arbonne Make-Up Primer
before you go! My girl, Amy Zucco, has hooked up my readers!

The Alligator in My Son's Ear

Fun fact about Isaiah: he wears ear buds that are not plugged into anything all. the. time.
He just jams to his own tune and occasionally asks for my cell phone to watch some Netflix -
which he just figured out how to pull up on his own. 3 year olds these days. Fast track to tech savvy.
When I was 3 I could barely TURN ON the TV - let alone pull up an APP, pick a show, and hit play!

I digress.

The point I'm trying to make is that the kid sticks little, white "buds" in his ears on a daily basis.
Hence the accident that all but turned my hair gray overnight.

"Mom, something is in my ear!"
"Oh yea... like wax?"
"No. A rock."

Funny very funny... turned into lots of tears and an insistent plea to "get it out!"
2 doctors and a trip to the ER landed us back at home with a bottle of Ibuprofen and
many well wishes and happy thoughts for the night to pass peacefully.

Apparently something small, white, and rounded lodged in a 3 year old's ear is NOT
an emergency and does NOT warrant calling in an Ear-Nose-Throat specialist to take
care of the situation.

I seriously just blinked at the ER receptionist. Repeat that?

At this point I had already surrendered my "Mom of the Year" award.
Oh I beat myself up real good. I'm telling you parents - you CAN'T blink if you don't
want something to happen! Kids are just looking for the next big thrill that will have you
doing rounds with pain-killers, changing bandages, and pulling all-nighters.

They make you WORK for that honorary medical degree.
I have learned so much in these few years with kids.
Call me Doctor Mom.

Here is a glimpse at our little adventure.
Please note that Isaiah is checking out another woman's purse
and Judah is playing with the trash can. NON-STOP trouble.



Don't get me wrong. I LOVE MY JOB. Being "momma" is... there are no words.
The greatest honor and privilege I have ever received.

I was glad I was the one there to hold my son's head as the doctor stuck
the "alligator" into his canal and extracted a thick, foam STICKER that Isaiah
had stuck down there in the Ear Hotel.

I was happy to be the one wiping away his tears and comforting him when it was over.
EVEN THOUGH he was yelling for "daddy!" the whole time.

I was blessed to be the one who took him to Target and to get French fries to help
ease away the pain that was on both our hearts and minds... and down his ear.



Moral of the story: You do the BEST you can, hold onto that "Parent of the Year" award,
and keep a rolodex of medical specialists on you at all times. You never know when your next
adventure in parenting will be begin.

_______________________________
DON'T MISS A CHANCE TO WIN SOME ARBONNE MAKE-UP!!!
GIVEAWAY GOING ON ALL WEEK!
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