Why We Will Not Be Sterilized

We were at the zoo, pressing our hands and noses to the glass of the crocodile exhibit.
I was noticeably pregnant, and a woman with her daughter asked the million dollar question:

"Do you know what you are having?"

Me: "No, we like surprises!!!"

"Well, hopefully it is a GIRL this time so you don't have to be pregnant again!"

Me: *fake laughing* - "Oh, we are just getting started!"

We've had variations of this conversation with at least a dozen strangers since my second
pregnancy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest way, but it never ceases to take me off guard!
You care that much about my fertility? And family size? AWESOME! You just won yourself a
roundtrip ticket to my "openness to life" speech!!! Muhahaha.

I might be exaggerating, when I fill in the blanks with these conversations, but it just
seems that people probably assume that either I or my husband will choose to be sterilized so
that I "don't have to be pregnant again." I mean, I'm 27 - but look like I'm 16 (right?!), I
can't imagine that they envision two decades of me on hormonal birth control?

Could be wrong.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I watched Lois Lowry's The Giver come to life on the
big screen. Being a literature buff, I was a tad disappointed in Hollywood's creative license,
but still overall impressed in the emotion they were able to capture and create.

After the movie was over, I just sat and stared at the TV watching the credits roll by;
winding up my scattered train of thoughts as it went.

If you're not familiar, in this literary dystopian world of The Giver, they take pills to
suppress emotion - killing the desire for intimacy and sex, among other things. Babies don't
come from the loving embrace of a man and woman, but are grown in women as a rule,
(don't really want to start an IVF argument here) from artificial insemination.

People live, grow, and die in a world where color, joy, feelings, love, all the memories of the past
are stolen from them. And it is all seen as a normal, good thing. Those in authority know what is best.
Still talking about the story here.

I looked at my husband, feeling the weight of that futuristic world on my own shoulders,
wanting to cry, and told him that I am so thankful that we still FEEL and have a CHOICE when it
comes to fertility and bearing children. I can't imagine not knowing the goodness of the marital
embrace or the wonder of carrying the life that grows from there.

It is in the gift of being "co-creators" of life that we as humans are most like God - THE CREATOR.
I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around the incredible honor that God bestows upon us in the ability
to generate new life! We are talking bodies with SOULS - eternal souls for an eternal Kingdom!

Without going into any grand biblical, theological, or historical explanation or argument,
this is the heart of why WE have chosen to not be sterilized (or use contraception for that matter).

Nathan and I came into this world with the amazing gift of "sexual organs", for lack of a more
whimsical term, in perfect-ish working order (THANK YOU, LORD! - not taken for granted)...

why "fix" something that is not broken?

I can't imagine, purposefully, removing or stopping what God intended for us as man and wife -
the gift of "co-creating" with HIM in OUR marriage. The sterility in the world of The Giver,
coming full circle now!, seems so dark, heavy - too "lifeless" to bear.

Give me the color, the emotions, the desires.
Give me the ability to give and receive and be filled with LIFE from and with my spouse --

in the great mystery of God.

And I will give you 3 children and counting +++
Because, remember? - we're just getting started!!!



_________________________________________________________________

P.S.
If you want to comment, please be kind and realize this post is NOT meant as an attack,
but merely a reflection, testimony of a way of life that WE have chosen. This isn't about
"I'm right" and "you're wrong" -- and just because we might not "agree" does not mean
we still can't "love." Ok. End disclaimer. It's Christmas-time. Just spare me the hate mail.

P.P.S.
If you or your spouse have been sterilized and have ever reconsidered,
you can e-mail me for resources: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com

P.P.P.S. (is that a thing!?)

FACEBOOK. || INSTAGRAM. || TWITTER.

I Am Not Broken. A Birth Story.

My Bella Jane. Talk about fashionably late. Even at 12 days past her due date, she came slow and
steady into this world. Apparently my uterus is like the Taj Mahal of uteruses - so why leave?
I guess the "all you can eat" milk buffet just doesn't compare.

41 weeks //

All my people from far and wide were sending me every trick in the book to induce labor. God bless 'em!
Check. Check. Check. Did it all. 3 or 4 times over for good measure. Yea about that whole pineapple I ate
- all I got was a couple cankers, thank you very much. My favorite was a message from a friend
reminding me about how "funky town" from Parenthood would totally work. Anybody?!

Totally did NOT work. But again, we did our best. Wink.

I am so thankful that my doctors were willing to let me take this pregnancy to 42 weeks.
Since I have had a C-SECTION, most OB-GYNs in my experience are not too comfortable with such
ideas. But knowing that I have one successful VBAC under my belt (funny, right?!), I was confident
that I could do it again. I just needed time. And time was given.

I wrote a whole post about my "non birth plan" plan, but at 10 days past my due date I looked my doctor
in the eye for the last time before we would meet in the hospital and told him...

"I told you that I have NO plan, but that's a lie.
I am going to VBAC and you are NOT going to cut me open."

To that he said, "That's right!"

Again, thankful for supportive doctors. I felt like they believed in me and were so open
to all the little alternatives that I requested. If anyone in the Chicago-area is looking for
some solid Catholic OB-GYNs - I cannot recommend this practice enough. I love them.

Two days before my scheduled "light induction" (no promise of a VBAC, but at least a trial of
labor), I decided it was time. CASTOR OIL. Yes, I did. My doc actually said to give it a shot -
so I followed my cousin's midwife's directions (because midwives are so cool) and later that night...

contractions woke me up. They were tolerable, but I could not sleep through them.
2-3 minutes apart for hours and hours. I woke my husband and told him I was jumping in the shower,
but encouraged him to keep sleeping because I had been having "fake outs" for many days and was
sure this was just another round of fun.

I then checked in with my doctor, and he asked me if my bags were packed.

But by the time I got to the hospital those beautifully consistent contractions were fading. I was
instructed to "WALK!" Round and round the labor and delivery floor. 3 hours later it was determined
that I was NOT in actual labor. Another fake-out. Technically I could go home.

Since I was 12 days overdue, dilated to 3, with a scheduled "light induction" less than 12
hours away, we decided to stay at the hospital and let the doctor break my water. Once I felt
that initial gush, I got that "HOLY COW THIS IS IT" feeling! In less than 24 hours we are
going to have a baby in our arms!

You would think that a 10 and a 1/2 pound baby would just fly out after the water had been
broken, but no. Hours later I found myself hooked up to my BFF, pitocin. That's a joke.
The BFF part.

Every hour or so they would bump up the dosage and my contractions would become stronger,
more consistent. Once I was dilated to 7 the doctor came in and turned off the pitocin;
thinking that my body would do the rest on its own. 5 minutes - 7 minutes - 10 minutes -
the contractions started drifting off to nothingness.

This was my panic moment. I asked every nurse that came in, "is my body broken?"

I cried. Partly from the pain, but more so from the fear and frustration of my body not responding.
I began to repeat in my head, "I AM NOT BROKEN. I AM NOT BROKEN. I AM NOT BROKEN."

My doctor came back in and said he was sorry, but that they were going to turn the pitocin back on
at the highest level safe for my condition (c-section scar). He asked if I wanted the epidural
first. I said, "NO" - determined to overcome the situation, thinking "I've got this."

10 minutes later, back on pitocin, I paged the nurses 2 times and eventually sent my
husband out in the hall with instructions NOT to come back without the anesthesiologist.

The pain subsided to the level of bearable and I just laid there on the hospital bed.
Feeling defeated. Crushed. Beaten by the woes of induction. My breathing slowed and I held
my husband's hand as the box fan whirred next to me, blowing away the tension and my furrowed brow.

Finally, I could feel the baby descending with that great rush of pressure. It's time. I knew it
was time. 30 minutes of pushing, deep breathing, chanting in my heart, "I AM NOT BROKEN!" ---
and then LIFE. I pulled myself up to see the doctor turning the baby over, hearing the nurse
ask, "is it a boy or girl?!"

GIRL. It's a girl.




Nathan got to cut the umbilical cord right before they rushed her over to clear out her lungs
(meconium). So surreal. Tears filled my eyes and no words came. No words. It was like being a
first-time parent all over again. A daughter?! The awe of it all - felt so different.

Her daddy got to hold her first. In fact, I'm pretty sure Nathan got to hold all of our children
before I did due to complications with each delivery. I guess the universe didn't get the memo that
the I was pregnant for 40+ weeks and probably should have dibs on holding the baby first! HA.

But it was wonderful. Happiest of memories. Nathan handed her to me, and even though I had planned
to breastfeed RIGHT AWAY -- I just stared at her; completely overcome with newborn baby bliss,
drowning in a sea of hormones and emotions. It's one of those SURPRISE OF YOUR LIFE kind of moments. You know?

We prayed for her. We waited for her. We are celebrating her.
Lady Bella Jane, welcome to our family!!! We love you more than you will ever know!

Becoming a Party of Five

The other night I had to run out to pick up some groceries, and my husband had to pry our 3 year old
off my legs so that I could actually walk out the door minus the cute, but extra, accessory. Apparently
he cried for a long time - only to be mildly consoled by praying for me. He kept saying he wanted a
"family night" - for momma to come home. Heartbreaking, I know. I almost, almost, suffered a
bout of "momma guilt" - and then the gigantic, "I'm so pregnant", emotional wave passed and I was like,
"Dude, I went out to get FOOD!"

"He doesn't act like this. Ever." I told my husband.
He must know, he must sense, that his whole, little world is about to change.

I feel it too. Any day now. Our routine, our rhythm, is going to be gloriously interrupted,
rearranged, by a tiny newborn - that my kids still innocently believe is going to "pop out" of
my belly button. They actually tell people this - with a complete confidence and certainty
that would make you think they're actually midget OBGYNS.

Our hearts and home are full of anticipation.
I can't believe it was just this past January that I was about to throw away all our baby toys...

"With not being able to conceive a third child - and no promise of conception in the near
future - I was shouting 'FINE, God... You've let my body betray me! So I will stand
with my hands on my hips, eyes laser-focused with cheeks glazed in tears, jaw clenched -
and roar back at You..' by throwing away all the baby toys?! Can we say hormonal?"
(read more)

In the midst of my confusion and frustration, God broke through, blessing me with tenderness and
one million tears. I took those toys and packed them away in a paper Trader Joe's bag not knowing
when, or if ever, I would unpack them again. But the word "LIFE" was resounding in my heart -
loud enough to give me hope.

That month we got pregnant.

I took out those baby toys the other day - just to see. It was humbling and beautiful all at the
same time. God gives in HIS time. A lesson that seems to be on REPEAT for this momma. I moved all
the small gadgets - the soft ones, the ones that light up, that sing, stack, and hold the imagination,
fascination, of such tiny minds - and put them into a soft bag with Christmas-like excitement...

Any day now.

I am looking forward to the moment we introduce the baby to the boys. Yes, this little one
will change their world - but I will pray away the anxiety and call down that radical joy
that comes from having siblings! Isaiah keeps telling me he is going to "hold the baby's head" -
aaaaand BODY... I remind him!!!

I am looking forward to feeling my heart EXPAND with love. It's crazy how a mother's love does
NOT divide among her children, as if she has a certain capacity, but multiplies, spills over,
becomes greater, deeper - more crushing, more fierce with each new child.

I am looking forward to recovery. Quiet, family time. We might be living in our pajamas, eating
peanut butter and jelly like it's going out of style, and watching WAY TOO MUCH Netflix...
but it'll be great.

I am looking forward to the scent of fresh baby. Enough said, right?

I am looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again. And my husband is looking forward to me
not begging, doe-eyes and all, for massages every night. I've loved being "host" - but it's time.
Eviction day is coming. Let's keep it quick and easy, baby!!!

I wish I could hug and thank each and every one of you who has prayed for and with us -
before we got pregnant and throughout this pregnancy. It means so much. I still think of and pray
for all who have shared their own struggle with infertility (secondary) with me. You are so loved.

LIFE. HOPE. THANKFULNESS.
Party of five? It's happening!

For those who prefer pets over children

A couple years ago someone seriously looked at me, while I was holding my baby Isaiah,
and said, "Why would anyone want to have a baby when they can just have furry, little pets!?"
I don't remember what I said in return, but you can bet your pet poodle I turned around and
rolled my eyes so big my mother in Southern Illinois could see and called to inform me that
I was grounded for disrespect. Not really. She's cool and would've done the same thing.

Pope Francis is rocking the boat these days with his recent proclamation concerning
pets and children. I totally get where he is coming from. It's not just because I'm Catholic -
and a pet hater either. Hater is a strong word... I just don't like animals in my house.

In his homily, Pope Francis stated: "Fidelity, perseverance and fruitfulness were the three
characteristics of God’s love for his church and should be the same three pillars of a Christian marriage.
Just as the church is fruitful by generating new children in Christ through baptism,
marriage should be open to new life."

He went on, addressing all pet parents around the world, saying:
“And in the end, this marriage will end in old age and solitude, with the bitterness of bad solitude.”

Popular Pope not so popular now.

My favorite part of all this: reading through the comments on all the secular reporting websites.
I like to "reply" in my brain. Where the snark can roam free. Silently.

Of course the Pope doesn't have a vagina, people! Let's just fire on all cylinders together now.
And obviously Jesus didn't have biological children. I think some people feel the need to throw out
obvious, invalid arguments when they feel their cages getting rattled.
Truth will do that to you.

This age of "comfort" - "have it your way" - "just do it"... it's no secret or shocker
here that this world teaches us to make life about "me me me" - have, do, take, whatever to get
you to the top, in the biggest house, best car, fanciest vacay, etc. Because, gosh darn it,
you deserve to be happy!

I look around and am amazed by how people treat contraception, sterilization, abortion as
honorable duties, achievements. Something that MUST be done out of "love for my wife/husband" -
out of "duty to keep the world from being overpopulated"- out of, dare I say, "responsibility"?!
Propaganda, my friends. Propaganda.

Here's the deal, you DO deserve to be happy. And I'm not saying that pets aren't part of that
equation! I don't think the Pope is saying that either. His point is that we can't let this anti-life
culture creep into our marriages, families, homes. Pets are not children. Can you please take the
"Dog Grandma" bumper sticker off your car now?!

Did you give birth to a dog? A cat? Do they share any of your genes? Or biological qualities in the
case of adoption? Oh, you can love those pets! I honestly think God wants us to take good care of the
animal kingdom. But I think, and I think Pope Francis would agree, that we can't put that love,
care, and desire before natural order.

If marriage is really a reflection of the union of Christ and His Church, then obviously it makes sense
that we too would desire, seek to achieve the same honorable qualities of
fidelity, perseverance, and fruitfulness.
Don't we crave it?

Fruitfulness, to the people with the lopsided glasses - those ones who feel attacked, judged, or that
the Catholic Church should get out of their bedroom - automatically equals:
a ball and chain with 12 kids attached.

Let me paint this straight for you. Fruitfulness is the openness and willingness to welcome new life.
It doesn't mean that you will conceive; as there are so many who will never have children of their own.
It doesn't mean children will come "as you will" or that you are solely responsible for repopulating
the world. It doesn't mean you will morph into Michelle Duggar overnight or that your female parts
are going to explode. Deep breath.


It means nothing sterile between you and your spouse. Just as nothing stood between Jesus and His
mission - His passion and death on the cross - out of love for his "children." It means praying,
discerning, living, loving, abstaining (Natural Family Planning), having the best sex of
your life because YOU are fully man - because YOU are fully woman.

No extra parts, pills, devices, mutilations required. Just you.

And when LIFE comes - and I'm not just talking about babies - I'm talking about being fully ALIVE -
then, just then, will you experience the JOY of fidelity, perseverance, and fruitfulness that the
Pope (heck, JESUS too!) is talking about!

We were visiting another Catholic Church while out of town one weekend when the African pastor
casually mentioned in his homily that people in his nation "don't keep pets." My ears perked up
and I turned to Nathan and confirmed, "Did he just say they don't have PETS in his country?"
We have so many first world problems we don't know what to do. Here in America it's a crime to kill
baby sea turtles, but you can take your own child's life via abortion. People, wake up.

I imagine that this pastor grew up in a land where what money, food, water, etc.
to be found was used to take care of humans.

Yes, pets bring us all kinds of warm and fuzzy feelings. I will not deny that. But those who put
that before children obviously don't know or understand the infinitely greater kind of "warm and fuzzy"
feelings that come with the blessing of children. They put an end to the solitude, the silence,
the posh furniture, and snazzy sport's car. But they are the beginning of a LIFETIME of fulfillment,
craziness, excitement, achievement, glory, adventure... that I'm not sure one can even imagine.

Pets are pets.
Humans are humans.
Let us not forget.

So You Can't Afford Kids...

Just ask us. Anything you need to know about anything... we have all the answers. NOT.
Parents of the year right here. Actually no. We had to forfeit that title when we were told our
oldest needs a pediatric dentist. Yea about that.

Nathan and I are mistaken as "babies raising babies" all the time, but we are deceivingly
older than we look. We were actually carded and then re-carded at a bar downtown Chicago one time.
I tried not to be offended by the fact that they kept looking from I.D. pictures to our faces like
we had fakes. I wanted to be flattered. I really did.

You should have seen their faces when we told them we had two children at home.


I'm not here to vent about my youthly looks or anything. I just wanted to share something that I
found most disturbing. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I won't be spending the $242,000+
per kid and more about the issue of parents who actually feel the need to...

CNNMoney in August of 2013 said:
"From daycare to the monthly grocery bill, the cost of raising a child is climbing at a rate that
many families can't keep up with. It will cost an estimated $241,080 for a middle-income couple
to raise a child born last year for 18 years, according to a U.S. Department of Agriculture report
released Wednesday. That's up almost 3% from 2011 and doesn't even include the cost of college."

And all the would-be parents ran for the hills.

The rest of us are either dishing it out with pleasure or shaking our heads and handing our
5 year old a bag of hand-me-down clothing - promising that Mickey Mouse is not all he's made out
to be and that the tent camping "vacation" we have planned for this summer is going to rock his world.

People ask us all the time, like it's their business or something, how many kids we plan on having.
Could that question fall under "sexually offensive" maybe?! Like I'm going to tell you how many times
I want to sleep with my husband during ovulation. TMI. Why do they want to know?!?

We usually just smile, bat our eyes, shrug our shoulders and give the heavily padded answer:
"However many God gives us?! 7-12. Give or take?! Gosh darn it, I don't know."

I'm just kidding. You can totally ask me how many kids we are going to have.

But then the "seemingly innocent question and answer session" suddenly turns into a lecture
on the costs of raising children in America these days. It is at this point you'll find me
and my quizzical brows bent in disbelief that this person actually plans to have 1.23 children
in order to afford all the bells and whistles. The ones that will most likely NOT cease with
college, but continue to flow like milk and honey from the weddings to the grandbabies.

Raising kids is what YOU make of it. YOU set the bar as the parent.
Not the freakin' Joneses.

I get it. I hear you. I know where you are coming from. And as an educated and informed
citizen of the US of A I'm not planning on spending all that money to ship my kids off to daycare,
put them in name brand clothing, and buy them a car on their 16th birthdays. Sounds barbaric?

I don't see barbaric. I see the priceless gift of siblings and parents who are engaged in
relationships with each other because they don't have all the "afforded things" to distract them.
I see sacrifice, virtue and character building, adventures and memories that money can't buy,
joy in receiving gifts, diligence, perseverance, work ethic, etc. etc. etc.


I was raised to work hard in order to get far. I paid for college (still paying for college)
and I wouldn't have it any other way. I OWNED my education - worked on campus, every break,
and straight through the summer. My education wasn't handed to me on a silver plate, and I
honestly think I am all the better for it. I learned about the real world of loans, paychecks,
bills, and the not-so-modern-American dream of having to make SACRIFICES -
to give til it hurts - to get where you want to be.

Kids want and remember the connection, the feelings associated with even the simplest events,
the love they were given, the security they felt. 242,000 dollars is nice, but not needed to raise
a kid these days. Now I'm not naïve in thinking that every financial situation paves the way to
a happy paradise in the brain of a child, but I am thinking that keeping it simple, organic -
the kind of raising that the "golden era" or our grandparents grew up with - is beautiful, healthy,
and produces a mighty fine generation who knows the meaning of hard work, money, and real life.

Of course we are going to do everything in our power to make sure our kids are comfortable -
that they feel secure and supported all along the way. But I think there has to be balance.

I think if we all cared a little less about the Joneses that maybe the cost of raising a child
would stop going up and maybe come back down to a real, realistic level of reality.
Coffee for all who wake up.



Psssst! I'm giving away $50 to VivoPrint.com this week!!!
Enter to WIN before you go!!!

Tell me more about how much you love birth control...

A few years back I was sitting at my desk at work, minding my own business,
probably eating a sandwich or a jar of M&Ms or something, when a co-worker walked in...
let's call him "John".

"How was your weekend, John?"

"Oh it was great. Went to a movie with the kids, mowed my lawn, got a vasectomy."

Me, now choking on my food, "Excuse me?"

All laissez faire. Just like that, he tells me he went and got neutered.
Like he got a hair cut or something.


I don't know if it's because I'm older and a parent now, or if the climate is just shifting,
but COMPLETE STRANGERS have told me about their latest IUD or birth control pills.
And I'm awkwardly standing there like, "Can you just scan my groceries, let me pay, and go?!?!"
For crying out loud, I'm here for food, not a chat about your vagina.

I'll never forget the time I was sitting at a local, little mom's club and a bunch of women
were CHEERING for another woman who had recently got herself some hormonal contraceptives
because, "I can't handle another colicky baby." Good job, Betty? Let's alter your body
with artificial hormones with possible chronic or fatal results, but at least you won't
have another baby to take care of. Logic.

I see it a lot. People patting each other on the back for their birth control choices. Like they
need some sort of support or encouragement to "do the right thing." And there I am, in the midst of the
sea of absurdity, shaking my head, choking on my food, wondering where all sense of propriety has gone.

Fun fact: there are two classes of hormonal contraceptives.

Combined estrogen/progestin preparations
+
Progestin-only preparations

Combined preparations include artificial hormones, estrogen and progestin, to disrupt
normal, healthy functions of a woman's cycle. That sounds smart. "Let's fix something that's
NOT broken." Most common forms on the market:

Orally ingested pills // (i.e., LO/Ovral, Loestrin, Yaz, Seasonique)
Patches changed weekly // (i.e., Ortho Evra)
Vaginal ring worn 3 weeks then left out for 1 week // (i.e., Nuvaring)
Have you seen THIS thriller, Vanity Fair, article on Nuvaring's death toll?
Progestin-only preparations do not contain estrogen and are available to the public as:

Orally ingested pills // (i.e., Micronor, Nor-QD, Nora-BE, Camila, Errin)
Injections given every 3 months // (i.e., Depo-Provera)
Implants worn under the skin for 3 years // (i.e., Implanon)
Intrauterine devices worn up to 3 years // (i.e., Morena)
We all know, more or less, how these work. They accomplish ovulation suppression, they prohibit
sperm migration by thickening or altering cervical mucus, or prevent implantation. One or all three
of these mechanisms can take place in a given cycle to prevent pregnancy.

Artificial hormones, messing with the body's natural rhythm, flow, regular balance of hormones,
is dangerous ground. But no regular doctor will tell you that. Just another stat, number,
repeat patient, money in the pocket.


"Discontinuing hormonal contraceptives due to side effects is common in U.S. women;
64% of women who stop taking the Pill do so because of side effects, and another 13% stop
because of worries of side effects." - Mosher, W.D., Jones, J. "Use of Contraception in the
United States: 1982-2008." National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health State 23 (29). 2010.

Most common complaints: headaches, cramping, breast tenderness, and bloating and/or swelling.
Major risks include blood clots, stroke, heart attack and cancer. Sign me up!

Recent studies show:

"Women who started using hormonal contraceptives before age 18 have a 90% increased risk of any
breast cancer and a 370% increased risk for "triple negative" breast cancer (a particularly aggressive
form responsible for about 10-17% of all cases in the U.S.)" - Dolle, J.M., et.al, "Risk Factors for
Triple Negative Breast Cancer in Women under the Age of 45 years" (Cancer Epid. Biomark Prev. 2009,
18(4):1157-1166).

"Women who use hormonal contraceptives bfore their first birth are at 44% increased risk of
breast cancer." - Kahlenborn, C. et.al. "Oral Contraceptive Use as a Risk Factor for
Premenopausal Breast Cancer: a Meta-analysis" (Mayo Clin. Proc. 2006, 81(10):1290-1302).

"Women who use contraceptives 11 years or longer are at 210% increased risk of breast cancer.
For perspective, this same study found smoking, a well known carcinogen, increasing breast cancer
risk 25% in the same study population." - Corghan, I.T., et.al. "The Role of Smoking in
Breast Cancer Development: An Analysis of a Mayo Clinic Cohort" (Breast J. 2009, 15(5): 489-495).

And if that's not enough:

In 1981, the president of the American College of Obstetrics & Gynecology,
told the U.S. Senate on a proposed bill attempting to restrict Roe vs. Wade:

"I believe that it is realistic to assume that the IUD and the low-dose oral contraceptive
pills could be considered abortifaceints." - Gold, R.B., "The Implications of Defining When a Woman
is Pregnant" (The Guttmacher Report on Public Policy, May 2005).

If ovulation suppression and the inhibition of sperm have failed, the third mechanism,
"prevention of implantation" DOES occur with effective hormonal contraceptives.
That means a LIFE has been conceived - as it has gotten through the first two gates -
and is then TERMINATED. It's prettier than an abortion, but still.

_____________________________________
So when people are offended that I "don't respect" their "choice" - I'm in awe really.

You mean you want to jump off a cliff?

I guess if the answer is "yes" I'm not going to stop you. I'll "respect your choice" -
after you've reassured me that you're firing on all cylinders here.

Pharmaceuticals are for the sick and broken. Your body isn't broken, women.
Don't let hormonal contraceptives make you so. The next time someone is begging for a little
"back pat", do them a favor and remind them that there is a price, and that you love them enough
to share these details because it's not worth their life.

I'm so pro-woman my heart hurts.




Want to learn more about Natural Family Planning?
here & here
+ + +
FACTS + DETAILS taken from The Couple to Couple League
all opinions expressed are my own.

All about being Pro-Choice

I can see all those who know me well, shaking their heads,
furrowing their brows in disbelief, confusion... did she say Pro-Choice???

Yes, I just threw my comfort zone to the wind.

Disclaimer: and I've got to throw this in here because I WILL get a comment or a nasty e-mail
saying that I'm a radical bigot with no heart and a mightier-than-thou attitude. I'll save you
the time. I already know what you are going to say - sooooo let's not waste energy?

This post is not for the Little Bo-Peeps, but rather the ones who kindle the spirit
of Sir William Wallace in their hearts - the brave hearts...



January 22nd, 1973. More than a decade before I was even born.
Our nation made a decision that ushered in, what I believe as, the American holocaust.
All in the name of "women's rights" - to protect her health and reproductive freedom.

41 years of legal abortion in the United States. According to LifeNews.com (2012):
"...54,559,615 abortions since 1973 based on data from both the Centers for Disease Control
and the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute, a former Planned Parenthood research arm."
We're talking World War II numbers here; right in our own backyard.

Let's play a game. Pretend it was all a lie. Imagine that it wasn't about women's rights
at all. "Health and reproductive freedom" was a slogan used to rally support, but ended up
being a load of BS like some other popular government slogans we've seen... recently. Ahem.

It is a FACT that 78% of Planned Parenthood clinics (the largest abortion provider in the U.S.)
are located in (( minority )) communities. It is a FACT that the very founder and first president
of PP, Margaret Sanger, was an avid racist and dropped quotes like,

"Colored people are like human weeds and are to be exterminated," with careless ease.

Don't believe me? This recorded interview from 1957 is a real gem of an eye opener.


We're not only dealing with racial issues here, but an obvious onslaught directed
at life in general. I'm sorry, but if you want to argue that "it's not a baby" -
or with other typical pro-choice jargon - go right ahead. Truth is - some people
just can't handle the truth. We want to see what we want to see. Good story. The end.

If a woman is not pregnant with a baby... then what the heck is she pregnant with?

God forbid we step on an endangered baby sea turtle "fetus" - why?
Because mother turtles beget baby turtles, duh... and so forth throughout the animal kingdom.
It's NOT a blob of turtle tissue - it's the very potential of endangered life we're talking about!
It's NOT a blob of human tissue either. Catch my drift?

Humans have humans. No matter which way you slice it.

Size. Size is what matters here. States regulating the size, age of a baby in utero viable for legal
abortion. What about the health and reproductive freedom of that child in the womb?

Psshhh... that's just a slogan, remember? To evoke happy thoughts and votes.

"The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion - because if a mother can kill her own child,
what is left but for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between." - Mother Teresa

Here's the cream. I am pro-woman, pro-man, pro-child...
and I do believe that we have a CHOICE.

image
We make our choices - to have sex or not to have sex...
and roll with what comes from that. I'm all about YOUR CHOICE here.
But I'm also about the CHOICE of the life that may come from YOUR CHOICE...
because I'm pretty sure no one in their right mind wants to be exposed to the instruments of abortion.

Call it a consequence of the act? Call it a blessing?
But DO NOT let anyone tell you that it is not a baby;
that abortion will be painless, with zero repercussions.

Lies. Control. Suppression. Money.

What about in the cases of rape, Brittany? That woman has been through
enough - the last thing she needs is a reminder of a tragedy.

My heart goes out. My heart breaks. Thousands of pieces, my friends. Shattered.
I cannot imagine. I cannot understand. I cannot fix what has been broken.

I can try and stop more brokenness though. It's still a life. A small life -that had no say in
the matter. Another victim who deserves the chance to live a full and happy life. Life is healing.

Let me ask you this: If a woman, married with 2 kids, finds herself being beaten and abused by her husband
OR one day realizes that her husband has had half a dozen affairs and fathered other children in the process -
does she ABORT (kill) the children she conceived and bore with that horrible man because looking at those
2 kids would only remind her of her tragic marriage?

Remember the sea turtles? Humans beget humans.
Life heals. Death is not the answer. Abortion is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"A person's a person no matter how small." - Dr. Seuss

And if you missed the punch above -
don't panic and a put a Pro-Life brigade on my front lawn.
I'm more for women than you can even wrap your mind around.
I'm for their health and TRUE freedom. I'm for the tiny babies
that have no voices, but all the makings of a human person written
in their microscopic DNA. Heck, I'm even for the sea turtles.

I am all about choices -
make them wisely and embrace the journey that unfurls.

I am a Roe vs. Wade survivor -
speaking for the 55 million and counting voices that will never be heard.
And I will never forget.

May the souls of the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.
Amen.


... YOU ARE NOT ALONE ...
If you or someone you know has suffered from an abortion or is currently experiencing a
crisis pregnancy, please reach out. There is help. YOU ARE LOVED. THERE IS FORGIVENESS.
Please follow the links or e-mail me at: lilyfieldmomma@yahoo.com // God bless! XO
REACH OUT + CONNECT: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Preparing for baby #3

"I'm going to go through the bins, gather all the baby toys,
and put them in a box to give away," I said.


Christmas had come and gone, and the invasion of new toys demanded
donation and reorganization. Reduce - let go - that's what Jen Hatmaker would do.
And gosh darn it, who doesn't want to be a little like her?!

As I sat on the floor in my children's bedroom and collected the small gadgets -
the soft ones, the ones that light up, that sing, stack, and hold the imagination,
fascination of such tiny minds, a spark of HOPE flared in my heart and I knew that
this act of de-cluttering was being done out of bitterness and despair.

With not being able to conceive a third child - and no promise of conception in the near
future - I was shouting "FINE, God... You've let my body betray me! So I will stand
with my hands on my hips, eyes laser-focused with cheeks glazed in tears, jaw clenched -
and roar back at You..." by throwing away all the baby toys?! Can we say hormonal?

A moment of grace was given that day, as I sat in the sea of toys on the floor.
And rather than a box labeled "NEEDY," I grabbed a Trader Joe's bag (because I think
they are so beautiful) and filled it with the little singing phone, the stacking rings,
rattles, a light-up helicopter, blocks of all colors and sizes for the LIFE
that I believe God is going to give me.

And that's when it hit me. My word for the year...


God hasn't sent me a direct message saying that life will come in the form of a baby -
but I know that He IS the life-giver, the life-breather - and He wants to blow His
healing grace into my world just as He did in the creation of Adam and Eve.

This year of LIFE is for celebrating what is given.
It is for being joyful in the journey. This year is for bringing
LIFE to my family with our diet changes. I will be seizing more moments -
to laugh, to let go, to praise God. I will be searching for opportunities
to bring LIFE to those around me. This year is for digging deeper in my
soul and removing the memories, the resentment that brings death into
my life. LIFE - I know it will come. Because He tells us,

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door
will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7
Heaven matters. Not the size of my house or the number of shoes in my closet.
The details are passing. Suffering is not fruitless. All an intricate web - a system -
a plan to usher our souls into eternity. Fire refines. Death is not the end.

I'm running out to meet you, Lord. Arms wide open in that field of wild flowers.
My word for this year is LIFE - and I believe that someday I will pull out that
bag from Trader Joe's that has been lovingly packed away - the one filled with tiny toys -
and introduce them one by one to my baby #3.



Do you have a word for the year? I'd love to hear your story!

Natural Family Planning: A Two Way Street

I quit buying pregnancy tests four months ago.
Another month, another negative, another stick in the garbage and a husband asking, "So?"
No pressure of course. Just loving expectancy. Both of us.

Before we got married, Nathan and I made a commitment to not use birth control or sterilization
in our marriage. Whaaa? Yea, we had visions of a dozen kids, a 15 passenger van, and appearances on
Good Morning America. And who knows - maybe that will still happen! I'm young. Hopeful.

But if it doesn't, I am learning to be ok with that.
Why God has not given us another baby - I do not understand.
At the rate we started out, 2 babies - 15 months apart, I admit I was worried we'd beat the Duggars!

After Judah was born, we chose to use Natural Family Planning for a time; watching, noting the signs of
my cycle and abstaining when fertile. Each month brought a new prayer, things to discuss, to discern
to the best of our ability, with God, what was right for our family. And then last Spring, all the "issues"
the "hold ups" dissolved and we were excited that God seemed to be opening the door for baby #3.

I just knew we would be pregnant right away, and most likely with twins - as we were obviously
a fountain of fertility right out of the gates! No, those who use Natural Family Planning are not
always called "PARENTS" in the ways that some people expect.

The funny thing is, in this brief time of no conception - in the grand scheme of things - compared to so
many others I know who have longed for just one baby- I have LIVED what I PREACH and that is:

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING IS A TWO WAY STREET.

We have to trust God either way; in times of abstaining and in times of conceiving.
And that's terribly hard. Whichever way you are walking. I get that now, more than ever.


I never saw big gaps between my children. I never dreamed of a "small" family.
And yet, His ways are better than my ways. His dreams are bigger than my dreams.
He sees it all and knows... on this street of ours.

That doesn't mean I don't cry every now and then when I realize we are still not pregnant.
It just means that I know God is God and I am not. My brain gets it. Someone, tell my heart.

And in the words of so many loving, well-intentioned people,
"Maybe God is giving you this time of not being pregnant or with a newborn for a reason."

Yes... but that is just SCARY! For a reason?! What reason?
"You're not having a baby because you've got a disease!
...or you're going to lose your house!...or you know?!"

I'm really just being funny here, because I DO have to laugh and rejoice
in the LIFE that IS given!!! And trust that no matter what - it's all working out for His glory.

For What is Given

I shamelessly grasp for the next.
Rushing, rushing like wind over sand; moving fast enough to
make a difference, but not slow enough to remember or relish the change.
My name is Brittany, and I am the epitome of a bull in a china shop.



"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me.
I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken
and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing... Through all that haste
I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away." - G.K. Chesterton

Age has changed me.
With each collected decade, I find that time is not the enemy standing in the way,
but the promise of refuge in the beauty of the moment - begging me to just STAY.
I don't always ignore the invitation, as children have also changed me,
but I wish I accepted the invite "so very promptly" more often.





"Wherever you are, be all there." - Julian of Norwich

This Thanksgiving I am giving thanks for what I have, right now.

I am thanking God for the children He has given me, and surrendering my hope for more.
I am thanking God for my husband, my Psalm 37:4 and beyond.
I am thanking God for
new friends, and old alike
family always present, engaged
community of tender hearts
the pain of change that brings new, refreshed beauty
moments of trial that lead to deeper trust
God hidden, but mysteriously present in so many ways

I am thanking God for what He gives today, this very second, stopping to focus
on the gift that's been given and not future ones anticipated.

Today. We are only promised today. Don't miss it.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING
from our hearts to yours

Childrenisms

So I thought I had an ear infection this week. That landed me in a walk-in clinic because my
general physician is out of the office until... Juuuuly?! He left his office unattended.
Still don't know what I think about that.

The friendly nurse practitioner asks the typical blah blah blah..."Any chance you might be pregnant?"
"Well, we aren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy... so it's possible?"
She quickly, but dramatically glances from Isaiah to Judah and says,
"Like you aren't already busy enough!?"
"Ya know, that's exactly it," I said without batting an eye.
*awkward laughter ensued*

She brought it upon herself. I love it when people say that the Catholic Church should stay
out of bedrooms and let the world do its sexual transactions however it pleases...
and then those SAME people turn around and start asking you all kinds of personal questions about
your family size, contraception decisions, yadda yadda... looking at you like you have antennas growing
out of your head because you say, "Well, we are open to however many children God gives us."
GAAAAASP. God?! In control? Yea. Stop looking at my antennas or I'm gonna go all Matrix style on ya.
Clearly the Catholic Church is not the problem.



In other news...

As Isaiah was barreling down the hallway on his really-too-big-for-the-house
tricycle he nearly ran over my husband...
"Excuse me, buddy."
"Yea, excuse YOU, daddy!"

I had an argument with Isaiah that went something like...
"Momma, it's an apple!"
"No, it's a mango, baby."
"No, Judah told me it's an apple."
I see where I rank. The 1 year old is the authority around here.



As Judah chased his dinner right off his plate and around the table, still learning to man
the child-size fork, I hear...
"Dwamn it."
I have no idea who taught him that.
But I hear ya, buddy. That's frustrating. I'd curse too if I had to use that little fork.

My children are fascinated with the idea of cutting down trees.
They have a crib board that they "hack down" almost every day...
"Mom, I'm going to cut down a tree."
"You'll make the Lorax come if you do that, Zay."
"Good."
"Aren't you scared of the Lorax?"
"It'll be good time, momma!"
WHAT?!

We pray before meals in these parts...
"Guys, say a prayer before you eat your lunch."
Isaiah leads: "Dear Jesus. I'm gonna eat now. Amen."
That works?

Our fish apparently requested play-doh the other day...
"Why is there play-doh in the fish bowl, dudes?!"
"He wanted to play."
"Fish don't like play-doh. It could kill him."
"He's just playing with the play-doh, mom. No dying."
Apparently I know nothing. The fish lived. Swam with the play-doh like he was in a coral reef.



Last night as I was leaving for some paid time off, my husband was headed out the door with our littles
to play. I told him...
"Babe, there is C-H-A-L-K in the bathroom closet. The kids would love that."
"We have more important things to do."
"Like what?!"
"Liiiiiike practice for the Confederations Cup (soccer)." *dead serious face*
I don't even know what to say to that. They are taking me to a whole new level
with this soccer mom business.

This is our crazy, little life and it is capital G-lorious!
Happy weekend! Soak it up!

Have a muffin with your NFP

So we made these muffins the other day... lovely for gluten-free!
Erin McKenna rocked our world with her little recipe.

I should say though, if you are used to box muffin mixes, then you probably need not apply to this
recipe right away. These are NOT super sweet. But I like them that way - the blueberries
were so VIBRANT! And we used honey instead of agave - so so subtle! Earthy muffins!

I had to hold my kids back. They would have eaten their weight in these had I let them.

So there's this little article of sorts that is an absolute riot!
And by riot I mean: I laughed so hard my husband thought I was losing it.
------------------------------------------------------------
You can check it out HERE >>> and keep clicking the arrows at the bottom
of the page... they add more to it every day to my great entertainment!!!
(an IUSENFP & 1FLESH production)
------------------------------------------------------------

For those reading who are like, "NF...what?!" Don't worry. I know - it's strange and expected of me
because I am Catholic, right? WRONG. There are soooooo many Catholics out there who don't even know
the teachings on this stuff. It's crazy, people. Crazy I tell you.
And it's NOT just for Catholics.

But yea, we are people of the chart.
Charts are for men and women who want a radically free sex life!

"How's that possible?! Don't you abstain and all... all the time or something?!"

I know that is what's going through your head! I know you have half a dozen wild questions
dying to be answered. But all I can say right now is that understanding your body and your
fertility is empowering. Having your spouse understand it too... now that's just AWESOME.

I think most men are probably just really familiar with three other little letters: PMS. Haha.

I mean - I've ran into women who don't even know when they ovulate each month.
They are the ones that seem to buy into the the contraception lie most easily.
Doctors make the woman's cycle out to be such a "big mystery" - something to be afraid of...

When the truth is... you can KNOW your body, it's rhythm, and seriously be able to plan
WITH GOD the timing of children for your family. More info HERE.

And if you are good at it... your abstinence days should only total about 8. EIGHT. 10 tops.

I would like to quote my husband on this matter. It blows me away at HOW GOOD GOD'S DESIGN
for sex and marriage is. This is in regards to phase 2 (the time of ovulation)(abstinence):

"It makes me feel like we are newly married again!"

Whaaaaaaaaat?! It's soooo so so true. Emphasis on the "true" part.
It's like those times of abstinence bring us back to our dating days,
when we were saving sex for marriage. Builds up the anticipation -
helps us to focus on other ways to LOVE each other.

Women go on and on sometimes about THEIR BODY - THEIR RIGHTS.
And it's true - it is YOUR body - you do have rights...

But are we stopping to think about what that really means as we stand before God?
What does HE want for your body? I have a hard time imagining that He wants us to
use hormones and other unnatural means and barriers to have OUR RIGHTS.

God's order is so natural - so pure - so life giving.
With no side effects (physical or spiritual) other than GRACE!
The world is not your friend. I think that doctors and pharmaceutical companies
see us as MONEY - they are not looking out for the good of our WHOLE person.

Ok, stepping off my little soapbox now. You guys know how much I love to talk about NFP.
Stay tuned - I'm sure I'll talk about it again... in oh... 5 seconds... Haha.

Funny story: My dad told me that NFP stood for "National Fire Protection" when I was
a little girl. I bought it. But now I know!

NFP is "Natural Family Planning" - and maybe you should eat a muffin and go watch
that funny little article I linked up above!

eye has not seen

I was 22 years old, laying in the emergency room, waiting to be taken into surgery. Unbearable cramping stole my breath away. They couldn't find the baby. My husband held my hand as the doctor made the call - the call to wait and see.They told me that I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant; that people with my condition were incapable of carrying babies to full term. We were told to prepare ourselves to say goodbye to our little one. Week after week went by. I cried an ocean. This was not the blissful picture of motherhood I had conjured up in my mind. I screamed at God. I beat my fists against the walls and nearly suffocated myself with sobbing. This wasn't fair. My body, my deformed uterus, was going to steal the life of our helpless baby. I was not ready to send my child to Heaven. It took me 9 months to fully surrender.At 38 weeks, against all odds, we said hello to Isaiah. Our miracle baby. He made it. God worked wonders behind the scenes. Somehow - slowly - knitting my uterus into a perfect order. When we found out we were expecting just 6 months after Isaiah, the greatness of God's work was revealed. My womb was completely healed. There was no medical explanation. A lot of shrugging shoulders. Many guesses. Hands. So many hands touched me and my womb as lips prayed. Prayers from the hearts of humble men and women reached the throne of God and He answered. Why? Why answer my prayer? I don't know. But I am thankful He did. I know that this season of my life taught me to trust God more deeply - to surrender - to believe in HIS plan - to embrace eternity with my whole heart. I ran to Him like I've never run before. In my abandonment, confusion, and helplessness... HE LOVED me. I write again because the Spring, the third trimester of my first pregnancy, was so emotional. My heart remembers. And it wants to PRAISE GOD once again for the two, beautiful gifts He gave me and my husband. He didn't have to. But He did. And I love Him again and again and again for it. We hope to have as many children as God will send us! Hoping that their little souls and ours will be a symphony for Him. Life. I think I took it for granted before I became a mother for the first time. Never again. Every day is a gift. Sing. I will sing to that. “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

a VBAC tale

You name it – I tried it! Squatting, miles of walking, pineapple, red raspberry leaf tea, spicy food, wine, pizza, cleaning things that didn't even need to be cleaned, etc., etc., etc... and you want to know what did it?!


Jesus.

On January 4th, 2011 we found out that we were expecting our 2nd child. With Isaiah and a c-section incision being only 6 months old, I cried out of fear. Nathan, my ever-so-faithful husband, was quick to remind me that GOD had my best interest in mind and that HE used us to bring this new life into existence for a reason. All I could see in my mind was my deformed (bicornuate) uterus on the ultrasound screen causing all kinds of complications for the children we conceived. It threatened little Isaiah's life – I knew that it would be no different with this child.

First OB visit and sonogram produced miraculous results that only God could have orchestrated. With my first pregnancy I had over ten sonogram pictures to confirm that my uterus was indeed shaped like a heart and could at any moment prove to be a death trap for our growing baby. I smiled at the ultrasound tech and bravely ventured to ask, “So how bad is it?” “What are you talking about it?” she replied. “My deformed uterus. Just tell me the baby is in a safe location.” At this point she turned the screen so Nathan and I could see the image. “Your uterus looks normal to me... the baby looks great!” My mouth dropped and Nathan started laughing and praising God for answering his prayer for my healing. Normal?!?! I can testify that the picture of my uterus I saw that day looked NOTHING like the ones we had seen over and over again with Isaiah. The doctors had no explanation, only medically inspired guesses, as to why my uterus appeared to be healed. I'm sure God was smiling.

This second pregnancy was nine months of joy! No complications. No anxiety. I was not labeled “high-risk” with my OB and quite frankly I felt a little put-off as the doctors barely noticed me! With Isaiah I had to go into the office every week after “17 weeks” to be given a shot of progesterone in my hip (to help keep me pregnant) and to be checked by a nurse or doctor. Every nurse and doctor at that time knew me by name and the 5th floor at Weirton Community Hospital felt like a second home. I am so thankful that this was NOT the case with our second baby!

From the beginning I was told that I was the perfect VBAC candidate. This was VERY exciting news for me! Bringing a baby into the world is exciting no matter how it is done – but I really wanted the chance to deliver a baby the way that God had designed. Due to my bicornuate uterus, Isaiah ended up trapped with this head upright in one of the horns of the “heart.” He was taken by c-section at 39 weeks on June 12th, 2010 – one of the happiest days of my life!!!

With this second pregnancy, a sonogram at 36 weeks confirmed that the baby was head down! I was so relieved that we didn't have another breech presentation on our hands and that the VBAC seemed very probable.

40 weeks came and went. Doctors and their due dates! They act like they were THERE when the child was conceived! Honestly, I was stressed and began trying to throw myself into labor every day. But deep down inside I knew that God could not have brought me this far, with so much healing, to let me not at least have a chance to deliver vaginally. We prayed and waited. I had an OB visit right before the 41 week mark and the doctor told me that they highly recommended that I schedule my c-section and have the baby before there were complications. They were concerned that the chances of uterine rupture were increasing as each day passed with pressure on my cervix and no effacement or dilation. SO DISHEARTENING! I scheduled the c-section for September 15th (FEAST OF OUR LADY OF SORROWS), a week after my due date, to appease my doctors, but on September 14th I told Nathan that I didn't want to go through with it until I had been checked one more time... and even then I felt like I was cheating God out of time to work His wonders! I had quit trying to throw myself into labor days before this at the recommendation of several God-fearing women I know. They suggested that I just calm down and relax. Sounded good to me! The night before my scheduled c-section I told Nathan that I wanted to try inducing labor one more time... by relaxing with Chicago-style pizza, a glass of wine, and a massage...

Just before midnight, September 14th, I was having consistent contractions that I could not sleep through. I didn't want to wake Nathan (I had a whole night of false labor the week before) – so I did laps around our condo and prayed the rosary a couple of times. At 2A.M. I decided to check in with my doctor and see if I should come in or just wait it out. The doctor asked how far away I was from the hospital and told me to get there as soon as possible so they could start monitoring me to make sure that the baby was safe as my body progressed into natural labor!!!!

Nathan and I had “that moment” - the one when you are half asleep – trying to shower – pack up some hospital essentials – jump in the car - “we're having a baby” moment!!!! It was very exciting as I breathed through contractions and we got stopped at EVERY red light. 2:30 in the morning... red lights?!?!??!

I was admitted... but at 3A.M. I was still not dilated at all. It was obvious I was in labor though. When my doctor got to the hospital a couple hours later I was finally dilated to 2 and she told me she wanted to break my water. “WAIT!” I panicked after a contraction passed. In that moment, the gravity of the situation and all the scary risk factors were staring me in the face. I asked her to give me and Nathan a moment. Then the doctor reminded us that the operating room was still booked for our 10A.M. scheduled c-section and that if I wasn't comfortable VBAC-ing we could still have the surgery.

Nathan... thank you, Lord, for a level headed husband! I love my husband with all of my heart. He is my CALM when I am a storm. The Lord has revealed so much of Himself to me through my spouse. Such a gift. He prayed with me and we went forward with our decision to VBAC – trusting in the mighty AWESOMENESS of God!

My water was broken and I continued to labor for another ten hours. After twenty-two minutes of pushing, our beautiful son, Judah Ignatius – our little 10lb. lion, arrived at 7:07P.M. on September 15th, 2011. I was able to deliver him vaginally, by the grace and help of God, with NO complications. We have much to be thankful for. Delivery, post-delivery, recovery – it was everything and MORE that I imagined. WOW – bringing children into the world is a such a joyful high!!! I have been blessed.

My pregnancy with Judah was one of MIRACLES AND HOPE!
I am FOREVER grateful to my God WHO HEALS and DELIVERS!
I love you Judah-boy. You'll always be momma's lion.

XOXO

100% Organic Love

“When a man and woman consciously and of their own free will choose to marry and have sexual relations, they choose at the same time the possibility of procreation... And it is only when they do so that they put their sexual relationship within the framework of marriage on a truly personal level.”
- Karol Wojtyla, Love and Responsibility
I'm going to talk about my favorite controversial subject here... *drum roll please*... contraception! If you don't want to listen to a little tangent on crazy-holy, beautiful, organic sex...
then you probably should walk away now :-) You've been warned. Lol.

Nathan and I have been married for 3 years this summer and I still can't get over the goodness of God's order and design for man and woman in marriage. You know, from the very beginning God was trying to tell us what's up, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it...'” (Gen. 1:27-28). I imagine this whole thing going down at the first WEDDING CEREMONY... Adam and Eve standing in awe of the gift of each other in the presence of God... and this was his HOMILY – this was his BLESSING on them.

“Man cannot find himself except by making a sincere gift of himself.” - Gaudium et Spes

I tell Nathan all the time, because I love to talk about contraception, remember? lol... that I can't imagine what our marriage would be like if contraception was part of it.

Here's what I can gather on contraception inside of marriage...

is almost always one spouse's responsibility

treats pregnancy as a disease that should be avoided at all costs

harmful side effects (many contraceptives are actually listed as harmful carcinogens)

prone to failure / leads to spouses condemning each other

can turn sex into a habit

can make conception and sustaining a pregnancy difficult in the future

messes with hormones for both men and women

is known to decrease sex drive

opens the door for infidelity / a spouse can be unfaithful without repercussions

sends the message to your spouse that you want all of them (what gives you pleasure) EXCEPT their fertility

I could go on and on and on....

So we're all just supposed to get married and pro-create like rabbits, right?!?!? Here's what my favorite late pope, JP2, has to say to that...

“Unfortunately, Catholic thought is often misunderstood on this point, as if the Church supported an ideology of fertility at all costs, urging married couples to procreate indiscriminately and without thought for the future. But one need only study the pronouncements of the Magisterium to know that this is NOT so. Truly, in begetting life the spouses fulfill one of the highest dimensions of their calling: they are God's co-workers. Precisely for this reason they must have an extremely responsible attitude. In deciding whether or not to have a child, they must not be motivated by selfishness or carelessness, but by a prudent, conscious generosity that weighs the possibilities and circumstances, and especially gives priority to the welfare of the unborn child. Therefore, when there is a reason not to procreate, this choice is permissible and may even be necessary.” - July 1994 Angelus address

Here's where the Church hands us the gift of Natural Family Planning! To use NFP a couple must take an upclose and personal look at the woman's cycle. A truly beautiful ART to master -for both the man and woman. This raw, organic approach to having a family can be such a blessing and answers the skeptic's rebuttal: “God not only said to procreate, but to SUBDUE the earth... responsible parenthood!” Yes, we ARE to subdue the earth and take care of what God has given us. NFP empowers a couple to prayerfully discern whether it is a good time to conceive a child or not. If not – couples can abstain from sexual union during the fertile phase.... and “God-willing” postpone pregnancy until the discerned time. I say “God-willing” because without contraception in the way there is ALWAYS a chance that God can act. An NFP couple allows God to trump EVERY TIME! They are OPEN, in a sense, because they have not closed the way with artificial instruments.

Natural Family Planning allows a couple to...

share the responsibility of husband and wife / it takes TWO!

communicate more about each others' bodies

pRAY and DISCERN together about their marriage and family

keep the passion alive by taking breaks from sexual activity to work on other ways of loving

intentionally conceive

avoid harmful side effects, both physical, emotional, and spiritual – NFP is natural goodness

build virtue together

increase their LOVE and RESPECT for each other

frees a couple from being bound by sexual desires and allows them to be GIFT OF SELF

embrace ALL of the other with no reservations or barriers in the way

ETC. ETC. ETC.

“The man who abstains from bodily pleasures and delights in this very fact is temperate, while the man who is annoyed at it is self-indulgent.”
- Aristotle , 366 B.C., Nicomachean Ethics

I love and respect my husband so much for being interested and taking the time to learn my body's unique rhythm. I feel like he is MAN for me as he takes care of my WHOLE person, especially by denying his own sexual desires to honor God inside of our marriage.

And can I just say that I LOVE the joy we share each month at the idea of conceiving another child. Because we are “open” there is always a little excitement at the idea of God working through our union to bring about HIS will! The other night we had a conversation that went something like this...

“How was your day, Brit?”

“Oh it was good. I woke up from my nap with the kids and felt nauseous though.”

**Nathan cocks head slightly with a playful grin as he bends over and starts talking to my STOMACH!....**
“Hello, little baby!!! Hello hello!!! I LOVE YOU!”

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT ...
Just a good way to share our JOY of being open to life with you :-)

I'm going to close with one of my favorite paragraphs from G.K. Chesterton's, Orthodoxy:

“It is possible that God says every morning, 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes the daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never gotten tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore. Heaven may encore the bird who laid an egg. If the human being conceives and brings forth a human child instead of bringing forth a fish, or a bat, or a griffin, the reason may not be that we are fixed in an animal fate without life of purpose. It may be that our little tragedy has touched the gods, that they admire it from their starry galleries, and that at the end of every human drama man is called again and again before the curtain.”

God creates because he LOVES to LOVE. If we are indeed made in His image, perhaps it is the same for us. Husband and wife, united to the Father, LOVE to love! And since LOVE is creative it brings forth new creation... and we LOVE 'em up – one baby at a time!

FIRST COMES LOVE...
THEN COMES MARRIAGE...
THEN COMES CREATION GOODNESS!